My day job has really got me ticked. Recently, we went through a "merger" (we were acquired, to be honest). The enemy's glistening oil has spread, inevitably, and the evil has reached critical mass. My closest comrades, an Auriok accountant and a Loxodon cash-management VP, have fallen in the conflict. It looks like we're fighting a losing battle. Do we allow ourselves to be compleated, taking on the toxic top-down culture of our conquerors, or do we resist? Can we survive, eking out an existence in our lean-to camp at Seedling? What new horrors will emerge from the Mycosynth?

I can't bear to watch more torture of my dear friend, our original Neurok marketing director, who's one of the nicest people I've ever met. The Phyrexian monitors are relentless, however, and I'm afraid one of these days, her strength will break and she will fall as well.

Do we resist? I have an urge to do as I've always done: Go rogue and get out, watching my own back and making my own way. But the real question is, if you're so strong, why are you running? What do you mean, "Do we resist?" Don't you mean, "We resist. And I will lead them."?

Games are fun because they allow us to live lives of worth, in miniature, over and over again. True to my Vorthos nature, the role-playing part of games is the number-one draw. If we can do brave things on paper, on a tabletop battlefield, and on a TV screen or computer monitor, should we not be able to brave things in real life as well? I'm undecided as to my course of action here. Let's look to the Phyrexian Factions and Mirran resistance for a war strategy.

The Progress Engine

This faction will represent our lovely conquerors, the acquiring company. Holed up in his lab, Jin-Gitaxias, CEO, slowly goes insane, getting more paranoid and cruel day by day. According to our Planeswalker's Guide, "His behavior is increasingly being noted by members of the Phyrexian sectives, but few are ready to challenge his authority." He thinks his metrics are better than all the rest, despite the fact he has no idea how to be an effective leader. His concerns are neurotic and power-based, not related at all to the good of his people. Minions of the blue faction serve as nothing more than scalpel-holders and "yes men," and Jin-Gitaxias likes it that way. Malcator, Executor of Synthesis is our chief operations officer; Sarnvax, Gitaxian Sective is our human resources manager; Avaricta, Gitaxian Sective just got promoted to corporate VP of marketing. This is a great place to work.

The Machine Orthodoxy

I absolutely love Elesh Norn's personal style. She's graceful and elegant; her choices in fabric and headgear are on par with Kate Middleton's (er, now that she's married, do I have to say "the Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine Mountbatten-Windsor"?). And according to the Mothership, Elesh Norn has an agenda up her sleeve. No one suspects her—yet—since she couches her manipulations in faith-based fervor. This means I can, "for the good of preserving the company's mission," pursue my own ends and be vocal in opposition. That doesn't sound too bad, but Elesh Norn's overconfidence shows some naiveté and doesn't get her far infiltrating the Progress Engine's workings.

The Seven Steel Thanes

Bolstered by the feeling that being black mana–influenced gives this faction superiority of origin, the Thanes are each out for his/her own. All feel they have a claim to power, and Sheoldred is the Thane I'd model my behavior from. If I go this route, I just keep buttering up the invader execs, smiling into their faces with barely concealed fangs, and quietly work to undermine everything they do when they're not looking. I would need to make alliances with people in the other offices, invest myself heavily in the new company to gain information, and build my power slowly while constantly looking for ways to throw my competitors under the bus.

Only those who possess the zeal to seize power from their lessers are worthy to wield the full might of Phyrexia.

—Sheoldred, Whispering One

This approach, while tempting from a power standpoint, feels a little too much like becoming "one of them." I'd likely have to betray my coworkers at some point to ascend in the overall ranks.

The Quiet Furnace

What is our purpose? To reforge. Nothing more.

—Urabrask the Hidden

Urabrask has mysterious ambivalence when it comes to his Phyrexian loyalties. I can't relate because I have no ambivalence. However, I've discovered that certain employees within the acquiring company also feel disgruntlement over the status quo. Like those in the Furnace Layer, these employees are perhaps more influenced by red mana since they seem to appreciate "individualism, compassion, emotion, and freedom." I could relate to them on that level. Perhaps a "put your head down and work" approach, coupled with offering to help others with tasks and doing more than I was asked, would reap benefits in bringing more people, across offices, to my cause. The problem with this? I think it involves working hard. That might be too much to ask. Especially since it means working hard for them.

The Vicious Swarm

If I go the route of Vorinclex and Glissa, I let my fellow employees fend for themselves as we live out a "survival of the Fittest" scenario set in Office Space.

Consume, propagate, and let the strongest emerge as dominant.

—Glissa

Vorinclex and Glissa go about their business of encouraging a violent natural selection in the Tangle, with disregard to the other Praetors' actions. This approach would allow me to sit here doing exactly what I want to do without worrying too much about it. I would have to reject doing anything to protect or assist my coworkers, and let them find their own survival. I would also be at liberty to challenge my superiors, should they intrude upon my territory, since I would be putting my faith in the conflict itself to find the correct resolution.

The Mirran Resistance

Bladehold. Accorders desperately defend this Auriok holdout to the invasion.

Neurok and Vedalken. Past prejudices have fallen aside to form a spy network.

The Furnace Layer. Here, Melira and Jor Kadeen work to help the infected and keep refugees safe.

Elves in the trees. Within the Tangle, Ezuri trains his resistance fighters while trying to keep hope alive.

I can't take an Accorder stance in this situation, because there's nowhere to hole up and keep them away. Can't be Neurok or Vedalken, because spying would involve being too close to the enemy and they really are working hard to keep control held down at HQ. Plus, what would be the point? Morale is so low that many are probably just going to quit. I feel the despair creeping in (I really empathize with the Mirrans).

Melira, the healer, is the key to the resistance and possible rebirth of a pure Mirrodin. Healing means caring, though—caring deeply. Ezuri rallies his people, and I'll admit I've already mouthed off once or twice and had folks actually thank me for speaking up to executive management, but what's the end goal here? From my lowly position, I suppose I could organize a petition or committee and try to take it through appropriate channels to effect change—but let's be realistic. I'm not sure I have that kind of energy. I'm too much of a pirate to care that much.

In the End . . .

My ideology tells me to bring my beliefs that I'd play out as a game character into my real life. Honor, bravery, self-sacrifice, discipline—all wonderful traits for heroes. Mutiny, exhibiting cutthroat ambition, deceit, immolating all in your path—great things for antiheroes or even villains to do. I want to make bold moves. I want to be a superheroine or supervillainess. I want to make each Monday a Day of Judgment, mindsculpt everyone and beat down with my Sword of War and Peace (disguised as a red stapler).

But I have a family and financial considerations. I also only have so much energy to allocate to each of my day's activities. Rebellions take time and effort. So do new job searches. Maybe all I can afford to do is Emerge Unscathed and be a Signal Pest every now and then.

I haven't decided. Learn something from the games you play. It's not like we all need to run out and save the world, or do exactly what we think would be ideal every time—but we should know enough to hesitate, and think it over, when in real life we aren't who we want to be.