I’m talking about squirrels. You don’t have to build Saskia with squirrels but I’m going to do it for several reasons. First, I want to use this deck as a way to showcase two card combos that win the game but, absent tutors, you shouldn’t get more than 1/x games. I want to run Cryptolith Rite and Earthcraft, and if I’m running Earthcraft, I can ruin Squirrel Nest (and Glare of Subdual, for that matter). We’re going to get all tokeny up in this piece because there are plenty of ways to make our tokens get very big very quickly, and attacking with a horde of 3/3 creatures is much harder to stop than a bunch of 10/10 creatures. Deranged Hermit and Beastmaster Ascension is practically a combo in and of itself. Finally, I want to run Eldrazi Displacer in case we want to change who we’re targeting with Saskia; and, if you’re running Eldrazi Displacer and you don’t think even for a half second “I should put Deranged Hermit in this deck” then we probably won’t ever be friends. That’s harsh of me, but you’re the one who’s wrong. We don’t get Opposition to go with our Squirrel Nest combo, but Glare of Subdual doesn’t tempt us to mess with their mana which I would absolutely do given the opportunity.

Opponent: Is it really a 75% deck if you’re tapping all of our lands every turn and we can’t do anything?

Me: I ALONE DECIDE WHAT IS 75% AND WHAT ISN’T! *chugs Monster energy drink* *crushes can on forehead* *flips table*

Instead of risking an overreaction when I’m called out for doing something that isn’t terribly in the spirit of 75% EDH, I prefer to just Glare their blockers down and smash them in the dome with squirrels and saprolings and, what the hell, a couple of dargons. Their mana won’t help them much, anyway. I’m going to make tokens, buff them, and try to serve with them multiple times. I’m also going to include some two card combos because absent tutors, I think they can be fine. We’re trying to close out the game fast with this deck because I hate intractable board states and long stalls. What would this nutty deck look like? Get it? Because squirrels? Actually, I’m not even sure how many squirrel cards I’m going to run. Anyway, here’s the deck already.

The Secret Saucekia ? Commander | Jason Alt

• Commander (1)
• 1 Saskia the Unyielding

• Creatures (32)
• 1 Acidic Slime
• 1 Adriana, Captain of the Guard
• 1 Ankle Shanker
• 1 Aurelia, the Warleader
• 1 Avenger of Zendikar
• 1 Bruse Tarl, Boorish Herder
• 1 Brutal Hordechief
• 1 Champion of Lambholt
• 1 Deranged Hermit
• 1 Dune-Brood Nephilim
• 1 Eldrazi Displacer
• 1 Godo, Bandit Warlord
• 1 Hellkite Charger
• 1 Hellkite Tyrant
• 1 Iroas, God of Victory
• 1 Hero of Bladehold
• 1 Mirror Entity
• 1 Mycoloth
• 1 Nut Collector
• 1 Odric, Master Tactician
• 1 Ogre Battledriver
• 1 Purphoros, God of the Forge
• 1 Queen Marchesa
• 1 Ravos, Soultender
• 1 Rhys the Redeemed
• 1 Squirrel Mob
• 1 Squirrel Wrangler
• 1 Voice of Resurgence
• 1 Wild Beastmaster
• 1 Xenagos, God of Revels
• 1 Zhur-Taa Druid
• 1 Zurgo Helmsmasher

• Planeswalkers (1)
• 1 Elspeth, Knight-Errant

• Instants (9)
• 1 Artifact Mutation
• 1 Aura Mutation
• 1 Boros Charm
• 1 Crackling Doom
• 1 Naya Charm
• 1 Savage Beating
• 1 Swords to Plowshares
• 1 Terminate
• 1 Utter End

• Sorceries (1)
• 1 Cultivate

• Enchantments (9)
• 1 Aggravated Assault
• 1 Bear Umbra
• 1 Beastmaster Ascension
• 1 Cathars' Crusade
• 1 Cryptolith Rite
• 1 Earthcraft
• 1 Glare of Subdual
• 1 Nature's Will
• 1 Squirrel Nest

• Artifacts (8)
• 1 Chromatic Lantern
• 1 Commander's Sphere
• 1 Conquerer's Flail
• 1 Darksteel Ingot
• 1 Grappling Hook
• 1 Skullclamp
• 1 Sol Ring
• 1 Sunforger

• Lands (39)
• 2 Swamp
• 3 Forest
• 3 Mountain
• 3 Plains
• 1 Battlefield Forge
• 1 Caves of Koilos
• 1 Command Tower
• 1 Dragonskull Summit
• 1 Evolving Wilds
• 1 Exotic Orchard
• 1 Jungle Shrine
• 1 Karplusan Forest
• 1 Kessig Wolf Run
• 1 Llanowar Wastes
• 1 Murmuring Bosk
• 1 Nomad Outpost
• 1 Rogue's Passage
• 1 Rootbound Crag
• 1 Sandsteppe Citadel
• 1 Savage Lands
• 1 Slayers' Stronghold
• 1 Sunhome, Fortress of the Legion
• 1 Sunpetal Grove
• 1 Swarmyard
• 1 Temple of Abandon
• 1 Temple of Malady
• 1 Temple of Malice
• 1 Temple of Plenty
• 1 Temple of Silence
• 1 Temple of Triumph
• 1 Terramorphic Expanse
• 1 Woodland Cemetery

Buy This Deck

Eldrazi Displacer is in here to change targets for Saskia if we need it to, but there are a lot of synergies I discovered. We can reset Aurelia, the Warleader if we can give her haste. We can abuse Avenger of Zendikar and avoid paying echo on Deranged Hermit. It forces us to play painlands, but I think it’s worth it. Being able to tap their blockers is also non-trivial and even something as simple as Acidic Slime is a real threat with Displacer. It does so much work that it’s worth any trouble we have to go to in order to comfortably jam it.

I tried not to go too deep on any one particular theme. I added a smattering of double strike, extra attack phases, token generation and token buffing. Playing with the deck will let us know if we need to go deeper in any particular direction. If we need more double strike, we can add cards like Fireshrieker and Berserkers' Onslaught. More token buffing gives us the potential to play Marshal's Anthem and Fervent Charge. More token generation could see us playing cards like Sacred Mesa or Dragon Broodmother. If we want more attack phases, there are lots of Relentless Assault effects. I tried to keep a balance just for a first draft but playing the deck will really tell us which avenue to pursue.

You don’t have to run squirrels, but I wanted to and it let us run Swarmyard, which is super with me. There are plenty of ways to generate token creatures. The deck could even make room for a Parallel Lives if you want.

What do we think? Did I cut your favorite card? Do you not like decks that run 2-card combos like Hellkite Charger and Bear Umbra? Should Earthcraft be banned in EDH like it is in Legacy? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section. Until next time!