Readers!

I will be quite honest; I didn't make the deck I expected to this week. I was fond of a few commanders but couldn't quite decide what to build. Then it hit me - I wish there were more commanders like Blim. That is to say, I like giving my opponents cards that hurt them very much. I didn't see anything that let you give your opponent a cooked grenade, like basically any card with the name "Lich" in the title, for example, but I did see something that could put a hurt on your opponents quickly by creating something that is a liability for them. Suddenly the deck came together in my mind - we're going to build Kibo, Uktabi Prince, but we're going to do a really weird job of it.

Kibo really rewards you for giving them Bananas to use and having them use them, and I want to give them more than just Bananas. First of all, I'm going to blow up their artifacts a lot, because of course I am. Second of all, I'm going to make very sure that they have artifacts to blow up. I'm going to achieve this by trying to untap Kibo as much as possible, especially on a turn where I have something like Vandalblast lined up. They can gain all the life they want if I'm going to take them out with Kibo. That's right, I'm not playing Ape tribal. I'm going to build a deck that absolutely annihilates their artifacts, makes more artifacts and blows them up, then punches them with a giant monkey first that absolutely obliterates their faces. It's going to be fun, it's going to be funny and it's going to play Bazaar Trader. Let's get to hurting them, shall we?

So why commander damage? Simple - I think trying to go wide with Monkeys is a good way to always scoop to board wipes, get outscaled if they can supplement the life you give them every turn and in general, play a very boring and linear deck. They're going to see the one way everyone is building this deck coming a mile away, and not playing a ton of Monkeys will confuse them at first and by the time they realize you're gearing up to take Kibo's power from 2 to 22 in a single turn, it will be too late. This way we can ignore their life total, find ways to make Kibo unblockable or too big and tramply to stop and we can have some fun. I am sick of building decks that get housed by wraths - I'd much rather play with a few big creatures and some ways to keep them from dying, or play a Commander that isn't unsummonable after a wrath or two. And by the way, those Wraths are probably coming because the extra mana they'll get from your banananigans (you're welcome) is going to make them overextend. When they do, you'll be waiting with a Disrupt Decorum or Insurrection to punish them for vomiting out their hand, or you'll replay your Monkey ASAP and start firing out more bananas for them to buff Bonzo. You know, as in Bedtime for Bonzo? The monkey? He went to college in the sequel? Wait, wasn't Reagan in that? Yeah, nevermind, we're not calling him Bonzo.

What we ARE calling him is a murder machine. How exactly does the murder machine work? Sit yourselves down, this one is going to be FUNNY.

Bananarama | Commander | Jason Alt

• Commander (1)
• 1 Kibo, Uktabi Prince

• Creatures (21)
• 1 Akroan Horse
• 1 Aladdin
• 1 Bazaar Trader
• 1 Bronze Bombshell
• 1 Fangren Marauder
• 1 Gorilla Shaman
• 1 Grunn, the Lonely King
• 1 Hajar, Loyal Bodyguard
• 1 Hammer Mage
• 1 Kodama of the West Tree
• 1 Kogla, the Titan Ape
• 1 Ragavan, Nimble Pilferer
• 1 Rust Elemental
• 1 Sardian Avenger
• 1 Scrounging Bandar
• 1 Seedborn Muse
• 1 Silverback Elder
• 1 Simian Simulacrum
• 1 Squallmonger
• 1 Uktabi Orangutan
• 1 Viashino Heretic

• Instants (6)
• 1 Abrade
• 1 Beast Within
• 1 Heroic Intervention
• 1 Inspiring Call
• 1 Krosan Grip
• 1 Tamiyo's Safekeeping

• Sorceries (7)
• 1 Cultivate
• 1 Decimate
• 1 Disrupt Decorum
• 1 Harmless Offering
• 1 Hull Breach
• 1 Kodama's Reach
• 1 Vandalblast

• Enchantments (10)
• 1 Ancient Runes
• 1 Bear Umbra
• 1 Curse of Opulence
• 1 Descent into Avernus
• 1 Hardened Scales
• 1 Invigorating Hot Spring
• 1 Nature's Chosen
• 1 Quest for Renewal
• 1 Rhythm of the Wild
• 1 Viridian Revel

• Artifacts (18)
• 1 Arcane Signet
• 1 Bucknard's Everfull Purse
• 1 Genesis Chamber
• 1 Jinxed Choker
• 1 Jinxed Ring
• 1 Liquimetal Coating
• 1 Liquimetal Torque
• 1 Magewright's Stone
• 1 Magnetic Mine
• 1 Mycosynth Lattice
• 1 Patriar's Seal
• 1 Shadowspear
• 1 Sol Ring
• 1 Swiftfoot Boots
• 1 Sword of Feast and Famine
• 1 Sword of Sinew and Steel
• 1 Tempting Contract
• 1 Umbral Mantle

• Lands (37)
• 14 Forest
• 6 Mountain
• 1 Boseiju, Who Endures
• 1 Cinder Glade
• 1 Command Tower
• 1 Cragcrown Pathway // Timbercrown Pathway
• 1 Game Trail
• 1 Gruul Turf
• 1 Karn's Bastion
• 1 Karplusan Forest
• 1 Kessig Wolf Run
• 1 Rockfall Vale
• 1 Rogue's Passage
• 1 Rootbound Crag
• 1 Skarrg, The Rage Pits
• 1 Spire Garden
• 1 Stomping Ground
• 1 Treetop Village
• 1 Yavimaya, Cradle of Growth

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This deck looks WILD! In addition to dinging them with all kinds of cards like Magnetic Mine and Viridian Revel whenever they sac those Bananas, we are giving them nasty cards like Jinxed Choker and Jinxed Ring. We're going to make quite sure they have something that will be destroyed to make Kibo bigger.

By all means, take out cute stuff and steer harder into Voltron if you want to. This is a deck that can give your opponents 2 treasure tokens then suddenly you're piling 8 +1/+1 counters onto a Kibo with a Bear Umbra and you're bodying an unsuspecting opponent hard. You can add Embercleave, maybe Sword of Fire and Ice or Truth and Justice for the proliferate. It's easy to make Kibo a threat early and just keep him alive until he can end people. You might want to consider something like Aggravated Assault so you can get everyone at once.

I like the addition of Squallmonger to the deck, if I might turn your attention to that one card. I think Squallmonger can create an interesting subgame where someone ahead on life and mana can try and tick the rest of the table down, but people will likely use bananas for the lifegain and maybe to Squallmonger people. Get people focused on life totals so they don't piece together your plan to 1-shot them with 21 commander damage or come as close as you can. Squallmonger deals with annoying flyers like Consecrated Sphinx and can also wear a Shadowspear for lots of fun. I like giving them mana and an outlet for it. Squallmonger is a fun card and creates a subgame and you should consider shenanigans like this over running something like Dockside Extortionist. I'm real close to cutting Ragavan but I just love stealing their stuff so much.

Another pet card that made the deck is Aladdin. If we're going to give them Artifacts, we should have ways to take them away, possibly giving them to another player. Aladdin is killer in a lot of Red decks, but since we're running both Liquimetal Coating and Torque, it would be a waste not to jam Aladdin in the deck. We have Umbral Mantle, Quest for Renewal and Seedborn Muse to activate Aladdin more than once a turn and we can build up a pretty sick hoard. You may want to consider Hellkite Tyrant while you're at it. It's not a monkey deck, so give yourself a little Hellkite Tyrant, as a treat.

That does it for me this week, folks! Only one more article in 2022 and it's going to be the year-end recap to end all year-end recaps! Does that mean it will be exceptionally good or I don't want to do them anymore?! Find out next week! Maybe! Until next time!