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52 FNMs – What's the Opposite of Burnout?

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Start the car.

Turn onto Columbus Ave. Get on 690 East. Take that all the way to the Dewitt exit. Turn right on Erie Boulevard, make another right at the Scotch ‘N’ Sirloin, and keep going until you get to the parking lot for Shoppingtown Mall.

Play Magic till your face falls off. Love every second of it.

It dawned on me during this very process last Friday that I was excited for FNM. Still! I was heading to the thirtieth FNM of 52, and I was excited to be playing Magic. Not because my deck that week was awesome or anything; I was just happy to be playing Magic cards.

Every Jason Ford piece I’ve ever read over on SCG has some sort of underlying presence of burnout. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy his articles—I think he is a fantastic writer, and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way—but that feeling of burnout is just something I can’t relate to yet. I am very grateful for this.

Funny Jason Ford story: I’ve never really met him, but I played against him in last spring’s SCG Open in Boston (actually Boxborough) in the X–1 bracket. He was playing W/U Caw-Blade, and I was playing W/U/r Caw-Blade because I liked how Lightning Bolt interacted with Stoneforge Mystic.

Jason has just written Tales Of A Pro Tour Nothing (a highly recommended read). I, on the other hand, have just gotten fired from SCG, which only really sucks because I have to pay the entry fee.

Game 1 just goes in my favor, and after he mulls to five in Game 2, I end up taking the match. I am nervous the entire time, and as we de-sideboard, I shakily say, “I really liked your article about being on the Pro Tour.”

“Thanks,” he says, making brief eye contact before letting himself become completely immersed in being steamed. I have never seen a person hate himself more for losing a match of Magic, nor have I ever felt like more of an idiot, than in that moment. Not that I have any hard feelings for Jason; I objectively feel he was justified in being angry for losing to me. In hindsight, I think the entire situation hilarious, and I go out of my way to tell this story if Jason’s name ever comes up in conversation.

Feeling pissed off after a bad showing at an FNM is different than burnout, I think. When you not only punt, but also are subsequently required to write about afterward and put it on the Internet, week after week, it’s easy to become frustrated about it, which I certainly have. I’m also pretty frustrated about the lack of wins (exactly three wins in thirty weeks, which translates to one every ten weeks).

In thirty weeks, the most important thing I’ve learned from this column is that wins don’t happen just because you think you deserve them. That sounds pretty obvious on the surface, but when you walk into FNM every week and think you’re going to win (which I do, every week), think that you’re the strongest player, and then fail to prove it, you either . . . 

  • Look within yourself to see what you can change, or . . . 
  • Keep blaming everything else, and keep being shitty.

Not all match wins are created equal. You have to work harder for some wins than others, and unless you are very lucky, unfortunately, you’re going to have to earn your wins. This was probably obvious to everyone but me.

Achieving burnout probably has a lot to do with putting a shitload of time into the game. Some people can juggle school and Magic and excel at both—or at least one of the two. At present, I am excelling in neither, and I don’t even play Magic often enough to fuck up my grades that substantially; I’m just really unorganized and bad at time management. As it stands, I am a senior in college, limping to the finish line. Not having a collection on Magic Online is more of a blessing at the moment, and after I graduate, I foresee a lot of free time to not only write more (gotta work on that portfolio!), but to become burnt out on Magic cards.

But until then, let the excitement live on!

Last Friday, I ran this weird brew, courtesy of Brian Kibler:

My first impressions were marred with frustration; I had no idea why Tragic Slip or even Doom Blade or Go for the Throat weren’t present in the base sixty. I like playing removal. It makes games much easier for me. The removal in this deck is either three Oblivion Rings or the combination of Elite Inquisitor and Vault of the Archangel.

Getting to play with Loyal Cathar, on the other hand, really piqued my interest. I like how Loyal Cathar plays in Limited, and I saw its inclusion in this deck as white’s answer to Strangleroot Geist.

To be fair, with this deck, I’m not really worried about little guys—the creatures in this deck outclass all other weenies, especially once you land Honor of the Pure or Vault of the Archangel—but I’d love some spot removal for a Titan or some other big dork. Maybe Kibler’s logic was that if you can’t already beat a Titan with your board, a Terror isn’t going to do much. I’m not totally sure. I’m not Brian Kibler. Brian Kibler is not bad at Magic.

At this FNM, we had twenty-four people, one of whom was @medikherb, a guy who read my articles, lived in Syracuse, and thought Cloud City might be a nice place to game. He ended up letting me borrow two Elspeth Tirel, getting to watch three grown men go head-to-head-to-head in “squats” (each person bends his knees and lets his arms hang freely; first person to stand up loses) whereupon one of these alleged “grown men” lost simply because his legs gave out, opening a Japanese Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas, and generally being an awesome dude.

Seriously, if you happen to live near Central New York, you should seriously consider coming to Cloud City for an FNM. You don’t get excited for FNM when you’re driving to an unexciting place.

Round 1 – Brittany Flagler

Serious question: Do people call them Junk decks because of the colors or because they think the decks are bad? No one referred to Brittany’s deck as “junk” all night, but I was just wondering about it because I’ve heard other B/G/W decks called Junk before. I have a feeling this stems from a B/G/W deck from 2001–2002–era Extended that was known simply as “PT: Jank.” I definitely remember reading about the deck in old issues of Topdeck when I was in middle school, but it was never clear to me why they called the deck Jank. Here’s the list that Gerard Fabiano played at Pro Tour: New Orleans in 2001:

That issue of Topdeck didn’t really say why the deck was called PT: Jank, but I always assumed it was because it plays cards like Hunted Wumpus and Simian Grunts.

Adam Barnello and I talk often about why I don’t like Legacy, and it usually ends with me frustratedly not being able to articulate what I’m thinking, but what I’m slowly realizing is that I don’t like Legacy because it’s just a very shitty imitation of the old Extended. Old Extended was a format that went all the way back to Ice Age block and forward to the present (the Pro Tour the above decklist is from had Odyssey as the most recent expansion), and for whatever reason, they allowed the dual lands to be legal as well. The result was a format that was very powerful and encouraged a huge knowledge of Magic history.

Legacy is not this no matter how bad the Legacy proponents want it to be.

“But you get to play all the old cards you grew up with!” No, you goddamn don’t.

The decks don’t operate the same at all. For better or worse, Cranial Plating, Stoneforge Mystic, and the entire Golgari guild have seen to it that you don’t get to play the same game you were playing ten years ago. What cards in that deck can be played in Legacy as we know it? Swords to Plowshares, and, if you’re running some fringe (read: nonblue) strategy, Pernicious Deed. That’s it. If you ever cast a River Boa in a Legacy tournament, you’d be laughed out of the room.

We could take this one step further and look at Tom Martell’s GP-winning Legacy list:

Which of these cards could’ve been played in PT: New Orleans 2002?

Karakas
Scrubland
Tower of the Magistrate
Underground Sea
Tundra
Brainstorm
Counterspell
Force of Will
Intuition
Swords to Plowshares
Vindicate

If we include the sideboard, we get to add:

Blue Elemental Blast
Disenchant
Perish

Not a win condition in sight, boys!

The point I’m trying to make is that over time, the power in Magic has swung from spells to creatures, so making the argument that you get to play all the old cards you grew up with doesn’t really work—unless you grew up with Delver of Secrets and Germ tokens.

Legacy’s problem, in my eyes, is all these damn new cards. Old Extended and pre-Urza’s Standard were formats like these; the spells were premium, but the creatures all pretty much sucked. That’s the Magic I grew up with, and that’s what I like best. I recognize that Magic is shifting away from that, and that’s fine, but saying that Legacy is just like all those formats of old is comparing apples to oranges.

I can’t wait till there’s a tournament format where maindeck Hunted Wumpuses and River Boas are viable again, but I’m not holding my breath.

Oh, yeah, the match.

She was on a B/G/W tokens deck sporting both Vault of the Archangel and Gavony Township, both equally terrifying.

Before the match, Brittany and I were talking, and she mentioned that she used to play at Altered States but that the crowd was a little too Spikey for her tastes. I chose to be honest with her:

“I don’t think the players here are necessarily worse, but it’s definitely a more laid-back atmosphere here. No one’s here for the prize money.”

Game 1, she has an early Shrine of Loyal Legions, which is fine; I have the Oblivion Ring, so I can let her sit back on it, then strike when she taps too low to activate it. However, Brittany throws a Garruk Relentless on the table. Since all I have are Lingering Souls tokens, Brittany opts to make a Wolf, which is the best possible decision she could’ve made . . . because I’m playing Oblivion Ring on that Garruk Relentless one hundred percent of the time.

After that, she bricks on draw steps a lot, but once she finds a Vault of the Archangel to match mine, she cracks her Shrine of Loyal Legions to make six Myrs. At this point, though, I have an Elite Inquisitor, which slowly picks off her ground presence while my Spirit tokens attack her for lethal and she keeps drawing more lands.

During shuffling for Game 2, Brittany accidentally reveals a Norn's Annex, and we both laugh:

“Dammit, now you’re going to bring in all your artifact removal.”

“Oh, it’s already in. Gotta deal with those Shrines!”

Our second game goes way-long: We have Oblivion Rings for each other’s Oblivion Rings, and she has to use Garruk Relentless to kill a Spirit even though the Garruk, the Veil-Cursed dies on the very next turn to my remaining two Spirits. It’s hard to remember the details, but I do remember that clearly.

Eventually, I get a Sorin, Lord of Innistrad online alongside a Vault of the Archangel, which forces her Day of Judgment, but I still have the Sorin, Lord of Innistrad that proves insurmountable for her—even through her double-Annex draw.

A lone Sorin, Lord of Innistrad can rebuild an army, but not with any velocity, and Brittany and I are still playing draw-go. My advantage is completely on Sorin, Lord of Innistrad’s shoulders, and when Brittany draws a Lingering Souls off the top and flashes it back in the same turn, with Vault of the Archangel and Gavony Township in play on her side, she forces my Day of Judgment, and from there, she doesn’t draw anything else that can help her, while I draw a second Divine Offering (I was sandbagging the first for any Shrine of Loyal Legions shenanigans) to take out one of the Norn's Annexes, netting myself 5 irrelevant life points in the process and taking away some of her draw steps. I end up killing her when she’s at 12 by giving myself an emblem with Sorin, Lord of Innistrad, offing my Sorin, Lord of Innistrad with my own Oblivion Ring, and casting another Sorin, Lord of Innistrad, giving myself a third emblem and swinging for a lot.

Simply put, Brittany drew very poorly throughout the match. We were chatting during the game, and Brittany’s frustration at being flooded kept becoming compounded with each land she drew. I know she wasn’t frustrated at me—she was frustrated at her deck—but I still never know what to do in those situations . . . when I’m the beneficiary of someone’s mana screw. Do I commiserate with that person, or do I keep the game moving? At FNM, I think it’s okay to commiserate. At a Grand Prix or a PTQ, I’d probably say nothing and keep progressing the game state. It’s defensible to make someone keep playing at FNM, and it’s defensible to try to make someone feel better about being mana screwed at a PTQ. It all depends on why you’re there I guess.

I know why I get excited on my way to FNM, and it’s sure as fuck not the foil Tectonic Edge and the thirty bucks for first place. I like meeting and hanging out with people and playing Magic. Don’t get me wrong, I like GPs, too—there’s nothing wrong with competitiveness—but there’s a time and a place to put beating your opponent in front of making sure your opponent isn’t having a miserable time. FNM isn’t really that place. I sheepishly told her I was really lucky (which I was), and I wished her luck in the rounds to come.

1–0

Round 2 – Jonathan LaPlante

This match was a tough one. Jon was playing W/U Delver.

 . . . Game 1, I keep a loose hand:

Plains
Plains
Plains
Vault of the Archangel
Sorin, Lord of Innistrad
Lingering Souls
Doomed Traveler

 . . . and I am rightfully punished when I don’t draw a Swamp the entire game. I’m crushed by two Insectile Aberrations. My Lingering Souls even gets Mana Leaked!

I sideboard thusly, and I’m not sure it’s right. In fact, I’m almost positive it’s not.

−4 Mirran Crusader

−1 Swamp

−3 Sorin, Lord of Innistrad

+1 Vault of the Archangel

+2 Doom Blade

+1 Elspeth Tirel

+2 Divine Offering

+1 Gideon Jura

+1 Batterskull

Our second game was also quick, but with the opposite result: He keeps a double-lander, never hits a third, and is run over by a crazy Honor of the Pure–into–double–Lingering Souls draw.

The stage is set for a good ol’-fashioned Game-3 slugfest.

Early in Game 3, Jon flips a Delver of Secrets with a Celestial Purge. I have the one Sorin, Lord of Innistrad left in my deck in my hand along with an Elspeth Tirel. I have an Honor of the Pure and a couple of Spirits, and he just has a Geist of Saint Traft.

The crucial turn is when he taps out to Vapor Snag, Snapcaster Mage, Vapor Snag my two Spirits to put me to 10 life. He’s all out of gas.

I untap my lands. “Well, let’s see if you’ve got any more tricks up your sleeve.”

Slam Elspeth Tirel, make three guys, go.

Here, Jon makes a strange decision. The Geist of Saint Traft and the Angel attack me, while just the Snapcaster Mage attacks Elspeth.

I tank for a little bit, wondering why he’d do that.

He has two cards in hand, one of which is a Celestial Purge.

I put two Soldiers in front of the Geist of Saint Traft and one in front of the Snapcaster Mage. Jon Dismembers one of the Soldiers blocking Geist of Saint Traft before combat damage, and then we go about assigning combat damage.

Me: “Okay . . . I take four, these guys trade, and these guys trade.”

Jon: [indicating Geist of Saint Traft] “Wait, this guy doesn’t die.”

Me: “Uhh . . . ” [awkwardly wiggling the Honor of the Pure under my control]

The next turn, I play a Loyal Cathar, gain 1 life, and then give myself an emblem with Sorin, Lord of Innistrad. Jon asks if he can Celestial Purge in response, and I let him know that while he can do that—I’m still going to get the emblem. Jon bricks on his next two draw steps, and I take the match.

2–0

After the match, I ask him why he didn’t just kill Elspeth Tirel with his Angel token. He wanted to bring my life down in order to limit what I could do, which didn’t make much sense to me; killing Elspeth Tirel is a pretty fool-proof way of limiting what I can do, but I digress.

Round 3 – Warren Boyce

Try as I might, I really can’t ever escape Honey Badger. It’s like a fever dream I can’t wake up from: “Dream Twist, is that cool? Whoa, man, Unburial Rites, Sun Titan, Phantasmal Image. Flash back Dream Twist. Whoa, triple Phantasmal Image! Is that cool, man?”

“Is that cool, man?”

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Warren has brought his Dream Twists and Merfolk Looters to the table tonight.

Game 1, he just runs me over with Sun Titans. I have no way to interact with them outside of getting my face stomped.

Game 2, he keeps the Plains, Plains, Plains, Seachrome Coast special on the draw and gets smashed.

Our third game was really tight—a tight game against Honey Badger basically equates to, “Did you hit an Unburial Rites with a Dream Twist? No? Okay, this should be close.” For whatever it’s worth, he has the Mental Misstep for my turn-one Nihil Spellbomb.

Somewhere in the game, Warren hard-casts a Sun Titan, returning one Phantasmal Image.

I play my Vault of the Archangel, +2 my Elspeth Tirel, and attack.

He bites and decides to block. His Sun Titans trade with Soldiers.

Vault of the Archangel is sweet.

Warren doesn’t hit an Unburial Rites for the rest of the game, so I’m able to take down the nightmare matchup.

3–0

Round 4 – Kevin Poncelet

“In your article this week, you should put Kevin’s face in the text after every few paragraphs, but as you keep reading, each subsequent picture zooms in on the face a little bit more every time, until Round 4, when you have to play him, and all you can see in the picture is a huge image of his eyes.”

I really wish everyone that reads these could meet Kevin. As long as I’m not playing an event deck, all he does is crush me. I worry about this quite a bit. It’s actually very frustrating.

Going over the match seems like a huge waste of time. He’s playing mono-white Humans and rolls me in two quick ones. In our second game, he actually has a Mirran Crusader with an Angelic Destiny on it. I have a lot of outs to it and a draw step to find one, but my deck doesn’t cough up the goods, and afterward, I find myself frustratedly laying all my outs out on the table after the match like every other scrub on the planet.

3–1

Clearly, I am paying for something I did in a past life.

Round 5 – Macsen Rutledge

My match with Macs was about as interesting as my match with Kevin . . . except that I won. Macs’s Gruul brew with Young Wolf and Strangleroot Geist never stood a chance against my Elite Inquisitors and Mirran Crusaders.

4–1

See you next week!

Jon Corpora

Pronounced Ca-pora

@feb31st

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