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Everybody loves an underdog, and Magic is rife with 'em.
I'm not talking about heroes like Gerrard Capashen or Glissa Sunseeker, who had more humble beginnings until destiny called.
I'm talking about the little guy. The meek soul who'd never stand out in a crowd. The kind of person who'd usually live in the shadow of grander figures. Only now, be it via destiny or fate or a Joseph-Campbell "Call to Adventure", said nobody suddenly finds themselves thrust into a perilous journey. What they lack in raw strength is often made up for by cleverness, and when you can literally take yourself apart, sneakiness. I imagine Ole' Smaug would've never suspected someone in his lair if Gandalf had hired Tinybones as the company burglar-of-choice. One draconic glance, and our skelly-boy would've simply crumbled into a pile of unassuming bones. A quick scoff - surely, the remains of a previous adventurer who'd been introduced to dragon-fire - and the great wyrm would've resumed its slumber. Once the snores arose, our boney hero would simply reassemble himself and pilfer whatever golden prize he wished.
Plus, even if he lost Riddles in the Dark, it's not like there's any meat on those bones for Gollum to chew on.
Yup, we're crossing Tinybones, Bauble Burglar with Tolkein in today's Commander adventure.
Though he never wanted an afterlife of crime, Tinybones found his talents for thievery too natural to pass up. Especially considering the obligations the poor little guy is under. No matter how pricey the stolen good, Magic: The Gathering lore notes that Tinybones only steals to support his family in Urborg.
And Urborg isn't the comfiest of locales.
Prior to the events of Outlaws at Thunder Junction, Tinybones, Trinket Thief used his talents to support a makeshift family of assorted Urborg ghouls. Countless lives had been lost in this Dominaria swampland, discounting even those who perished in the original Phyrexian Invasion, so I imagine his family is quite large. Once the call of the wild-West sang out, our skeletal underdog found himself the sneakiest member of Oko, the Ringleader's crew of heist-hungry travelers. Along the way, he'd form an unlikely friendship with not only a Ravnican Guild Parun, but one infamous for his fickle taste in friends: Rakdos, the Muscle. Had he been flesh-n'-bone, poor Tinybones likely would've been an expandable meat-puppet to the hedonistic demon, but his afterlife-laden durability leant Tinybones a great deal of spunk in the demon's eyes. Against all odds, Rakdos took a liking to Tinybones, and the two have remained friends ever since. I suppose it's better to be with an all-consuming chaos demon than against him, right?
As a Commander, Tinybones, Bauble Burglar doesn't aim to win in the stats-department. This unlikely hero is all about the gradual stockpiling of card advantage. Once his stash of stolen goods grows large enough, you'll find yourself surrounded by useful riches. Riches that can swing the game in your favor, as your opponents' hands will be torn to pieces. Tinybones may be small on his own, but he's more than able to steal heavy-hitters and recruit them to your team in short order. All he asks is a bit of discard, something Black is already adept at.
So let's what skeletal tricks our little thief has up his sleeve this time!
Tinybones, Bauble Burglar | Commander | Matthew Lotti
- Commander (1)
- 1 Tinybones, Bauble Burglar
- Creatures (21)
- 1 Aclazotz, Deepest Betrayal // Temple of the Dead
- 1 Archfiend of Spite
- 1 Big Game Hunter
- 1 Boggart Trawler
- 1 Bone Miser
- 1 Containment Construct
- 1 Cunning Lethemancer
- 1 Grave Scrabbler
- 1 Greel, Mind Raker
- 1 Mindslicer
- 1 Necrogoyf
- 1 Nightshade Assassin
- 1 Rankle, Master of Pranks
- 1 Sangromancer
- 1 Shadowgrange Archfiend
- 1 Stronghold Rats
- 1 Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern
- 1 The Raven Man
- 1 Tinybones, the Pickpocket
- 1 Tinybones, Trinket Thief
- 1 Tourach, Dread Cantor
- Planeswalkers (1)
- 1 Liliana of the Veil
- Instants (5)
- 1 Dark Withering
- 1 Fell the Profane
- 1 Imp's Mischief
- 1 Malakir Rebirth
- 1 Not Dead After All
- Sorceries (12)
- 1 Agadeem's Awakening // Agadeem, the Undercrypt
- 1 Awaken the Erstwhile
- 1 Dark Deal
- 1 Delirium Skeins
- 1 Exsanguinate
- 1 Ill-Gotten Gains
- 1 Murderous Compulsion
- 1 Nightmare Unmaking
- 1 Rankle's Prank
- 1 Syphon Mind
- 1 Torment of Hailfire
- 1 Toxic Deluge
- Enchantments (11)
- 1 Bandit's Talent
- 1 Bottomless Pit
- 1 Court of Ambition
- 1 Liliana's Caress
- 1 Megrim
- 1 Necrogen Mists
- 1 Oppression
- 1 Painful Quandary
- 1 Tinybones Joins Up
- 1 Waste Not
- 1 Words of Waste
Discard = Card Advantage at Sorcery Speed
Nefarious as it may be, turning discard into card advantage delivers a one-two punch of value. For one, Tinybones and his arsenal of tools (Greel, Mind Raker, Ill-Gotten Gains, Awaken the Erstwhile, Syphon Mind, etc.) deny opponents their precious spells. This can be especially devastating against combo players, but even if you're only hitting mana rocks or a removal, you're not complaining. Secondly, and most deliciously-nefarious, each discarded piece of cardboard goes right into your bag of loot. As you can keep Tinybones alive, he'll let you play all these pilfered cards at sorcery speed. With enough discard effects and your general in play, you'll essentially have access to an entire second hand. One that allows you to bypass any color restrictions that'd otherwise prevent you from revealing in stolen riches.
Discard Engines are your Friend
Though he has his own discard ability, it's pricey, so we're going to load up on other sources of hand-disruption. Ideally, sources that can become an ever-going engine, able to make all opponents discard each turn for maximum value. We have plenty of options, from skipping our own draw step (Words of Waste), punishing opponents for playing spells (Oppression, Painful Quandary), or getting in with damage (Specter's Shroud, Rankle, Master of Pranks, Sword of Feast and Famine). However, best among our discard outlets are the passive permanents that, once in play, require no further work. Bottomless Pit, Necrogoyf, Cunning Lethemancer, Necrogen Mists and more need only sit in play in order for the Stash counters to pile up rapidly.
Discard Synergies Abound
Our own Commander can provide a ton of card advantage in exchange for all these discard effects, but while we're at it, let's see what other rewards we can reap? As players lose card advantage, we'll pick up more via the likes of Geth's Grimoire, Waste Not, and Bone Miser. You can surely bet angry opponents will be gunning for our life total, so Sangromancer provides a much needed life gain buffer against their onslaught. The infamous Tergrid, God of Fright // Tergrid's Lantern even one-ups Tinybones in how she'll allow us to put discarded permanents directed into play rather than having to cast them later!
Sheer and utter Madness
In Commander, the most ideal cards are often those that hit as many players as possible. In the case of removal (Ex. Seize the Soul]), the widespread impact is all net positive. But that's not always the case with discard. Some of our best outlets affect everyone at the table, ourselves included (Dark Deal, Bottomless Pit, Delirium Skeins). To get around this, we'll ensure lemonade is made out of lemons via the healthy application of Madness. Who cares if we're discarding our own cards so long as we're getting removal (Big Game Hunter, Dark Withering, Nightshade Assassin, Murderous Compulsion), recursion (Grave Scrabbler), and even big threats (Shadowgrange Archfiend, Archfiend of Spite) out of the deal? We'll also bring in tools like Bone Miser, Waste Not, Containment Construct, and Currency Converter for additional mileage.
Protecting our Commander
We'll only have access to cards with Stash counters on them whilst Tinybones is in play, so let's include a bunch of ways to protect him, and by extension, our card advantage. This is especially true when you consider the psychological effect once cards start getting stolen. As discussed in "Commander Psychology: Avoiding Subconscious Mistakes", few effects make opponents more angry than having their own spells used against them. Tinybones is bound to have a massive bulleye on his bony little head, so we'll need ample means to protect him (Imp's Mischeif, Malakir Rebirth // Malakir Mire, etc.).
Winning the Game
As our library of mind-shredders make short work of enemy hands, we'll aim to chip away at life totals, too (Megrim, Liliana's Caress, Bandit's Talent, Court of Ambition). Remember, this is all in addition to you casting whatever spells Tinybones has already stolen. It's entirely possible you'll end up with a win condition you don't even own. However, to ensure you can close things out reliably, we also include some big finishers for the late game. Tinybones, Bauble Burglar allows you to play stolen lands, so your mana base should have no problem growing to sizeable enough proportions for Exsanguinate and Torment of Hailfire to put the final nail in the coffin. And that's before we even consider the likes of Cabal Coffers and Cabal Stronghold among our own lands.
I hope you've enjoyed our exploration into the sinister criminal underworld. It's not all cutthroats and villains. Sometimes it's just scrappy underdogs just trying to get by. Granted, your opponents might not buy that argument at the Commander table, as it'll be their hands Tinybones, Bauble Burglar is stealing from.
Thanks for reading, and hang tightly onto those cards in hand!
-Matt-
