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Main » Articles » Premodern Meetup Report: Doucette Goblins

Premodern Meetup Report: Doucette Goblins

Michael Flores
Posted on September 5, 2023
 Reddit

Prologue:

My friend and Spike Colony podcast partner Lanny Huang is in the Top 4 of the Premodern Showdown Series.

I am submitting this article on Labor Day, 2023. Lanny will be playing his Top 4 matchup with one of the community's most foundational - and generous - members: Jared Doucette. Jared is one of the main organizers of LobsterCon (home of the North American Premodern Championship), and as such, never gets to play in the Friday main event himself.

Master Huang and I got three-fourths of the PSS Top 4 right in our predictions podcast. Lanny himself, and the two finalists from last year: Tom Metelsky and Rich Shay. Tom is our teammate as well as a highly decorated Premodern winner; Rich is the defending champion and co-author of probably my favorite piece of Magic content ever, an episode of All Tings Considered that will teach you to be a better deck designer, player, and predictor of the future; whether or not you apply those skills to Premodern.

The one we both missed was Jared.

In the round robin portion Jared was an unmitigated terror with his Goblins deck. He went undefeated with it on the way to First Seed in the elimination rounds. His two losses were to Lanny and Rich; with his The Rock and Replenish decks, respectively.

We imagine that for lots of reasons - the fact that The Rock is a horrible dog to Lanny's Replenish deck, and that Jared's only other loss was with his own Replenish deck - that he'll bring his most comfortable weapon come the Top 4.

I've played against Jared myself and watched him every week on The Cloudgoat Ranger. He's a capable Goblins player - certainly faster and more accurate than I am with basic play pattens and routines - plus, his starting sixty seems optimized for Lanny's whole g-d lineup.

Initially Lanny was confident in his own Replenish v. Goblins matchup.

I couldn't disagree more.

As First Seed, Jared will have on-the-play advantage in Game 1. That doesn't matter so much for Premodern as a whole... But it matters a lot when you have a particular card in your deck.

Goblin Lackey

This one card is like a gluing a Black Lotus to a Merfolk of the Pearl Trident. If it gets in... Who knows what is even going to happen?

The range is as wide as the potential Goblins in Jared's deck. The most spectacular turn-2-drop is Siege-Gang Commander of course:

Siege-Gang Commander

Five Six mana worth of Goblins and a ton of cardboard advantage for only one mana. And a point!

But a "free" Goblin Ringleader or even Goblin Matron can kindle a lot of fuss. I know this from firsthand experience: If Jared starts landing Ringleaders, expect him to draw the full four Goblins.

This gets worse because unlike most Goblins players, Jared is packing a full four-of set of Wastelands. The jury is up in the air about Wasteland in Premodern Goblins, but against Lanny's Ancient Tombs, City of Taitors, and Skycloud Expanse? They're absolute gold. I'd be shocked if Jared picked either of his other decks going into tonight's potentially run-ending match.

Meetup

Last Tuesday there was a NYC Premodern Meetup at the Brooklyn Strategist.

Premodern is super heating up in New York, and we're up to two official meetups in addition to a $1.5k tournament later this month. I was planning to use this meetup to test one of my possible decks for the $1.5k, but Lanny asked me to bring Doucette Goblins to test against him between rounds. I figured if I'm going to spend an hour digging up Tormod's Crypts and Hull Breaches, I might as well play it in the event proper. Here's Jared's very good Goblins list:

I built this physical deck as a "bit".

To be fair I didn't carry the bit 100% far enough but at least it's on its way.

Premodern sticklers are gaga for old borders, original printings of cards, or rare variants for their decks. The apex Premodern card is probably something like a Judge Foil Gaea's Cradle.

I own two but would probably not put one of them in an actual sleeve, for obvious reasons. The sticker price on a Judge Foil Gaea's Cradle is over $2,000. Lanny makes fun of me for playing my regular ones on the regular.

The Goblins build I physically assembled is the opposite. I took a super common Ice Age card like Pyroblast and meme'd it up with a white bordered Core Set version. There is a disastrous, unrecognizable, Red Elemental Blast. Four different versions of Goblin Matron; four different foil printings of Naturalize! I'm sometimes confused if the card in my hand is a Siege-Gang Commander art I don't recognize or a Goblin Warchief art I forgot I bought.

And have you ever seen that printing of Mogg Fanatic?

I make it a point to buy them here on CoolStuffInc every time they're back in stock.

I should probably swap out some of my original Goblin Lackeys with the Secret Lairs variants (I can get three chaotically mismatched versions soon)... But I'm probably going to hit a wall on Wasteland and Wooded Foothills.

Every weirdo Universes Beyond variant of Wasteland is actually more expensive than the originals at this point for some unknown reason; and I can't wrap my head around Khans of Tarkir Wooded Foothills. I mean, I have two play sets of the originals.

Jeff Winger would be disappointed. But we're enough of the way there that at least most Premodern sticklers will make disgusted faces and post rude comments in the Discord. More-or-less victory, you know?

Speaking of victory...

Round One: Nick with Phyrexian Tyranny Combo

Nick was playing a deck I didn't recognize. It was like a no basic lands theme deck... All different kinds of pain lands because he needs bur (hopefully on turn two or three) for this card:

Phyrexian Tyranny

I didn't really understand what was going on. At the end of Game 1 all I knew was that he was on a one-turn clock and I was on seventeen when I passed.

Nick tapped out for Wheel and Deal (another card I didn't recognize)...

Wheel and Deal

Initially I was mostly annoyed I had to discard my awesome cards in hand, but at least I was getting seven for my trouble. And along with that... Fourteen points from the Phyrexian Tyranny?

Nick drew a card from Wheel and Deal's cantrip clause and calmly deployed Lotus Petal + Lighting Bolt.

Seventeen. Exactsies.

This is how I sideboarded:

Tranquil Domain has text against Phyrexian Tyranny but because of the u in its upper-right, the Blasts seemed better. This is doubly true versus Wheel and Deal. Also, I wasn't sure I'd ever be up against more than one enchantment in play at a given time.

I left in Goblin Sharpshooter because Nick had Birds of Paradise but cut Gempalm Incinerator because it seemed slow against just some 0/1 Birds. I'm not really sure what is "right" but I wanted to mostly keep my Goblins engine intact so that I would still have a lot of impact if I got an early Lackey.

Nick and I traded premium 1-drops. Me: Goblin Lackey; him: Black Vise.

The Vise didn't do a whole lot of damage because the Lackey helped me empty my hand quickly. And I was able to interact just enough thanks to having four copies of Naturalize against his many artifacts.

Ditto for Game 3 except I laced together a sweet post-Siege-Gang Commander Skirk Prospector to shave off a turn.

1-0

Round Two: Cam with Enchantress

Cam is one of the NYC community's ringers, and denied me first place at my very first meetup, back last summer. He and his Elves deck missed Top 8 at LobsterCon this year very narrowly.

Since LobsterCon Cam has mostly been playing Green-White Enchantress, which is theoretically one of the best decks against beatdown. Main-deck Elephant Grass and Solitary Confinement are a hell of a lineup given its enormous avenues for card selection and hand size.

But! Doucette Goblins plays main-deck Naturalize and sides in Tranquil Domain. So... Just a little patience.

This is how I sideboarded:

I left Sharpshooter in because some versions of Enchantress play Sacred Mesa. Mostly I took out "removal" Goblins in exchange for instant speed enchantment removal. Hull Breach and Tormod's Crypt both have text in this matchup, but, again, I didn't want to curb my engine's consistency too much.

2-0

Round Three: Lanny with Replenish

The main event!

In round three!

Lanny joked that we should play for a twenty; but I asked him if he'd rather see who won the flip before making such a bold jab. I won the right to play and he quickly, wisely, rescinded.

This matchup was SUPER easy.

If the goal was to figure out what deck Lanny should play, I think it should definitely not be Replenish. JARED LITERALLY HAS ON-THE-PLAY ADVANTAGE on account of being first seed in the Top 4!

I got Goblin Lackey and rolled him.

Sideboarded Lanny kept a hand without Swords to Plowshares and I rolled him again. The combination of first turn initiative with Goblin Lackey and Wasteland is substantial here, because outside of Swords to Plowshares, all of Lanny's action costs four mana.

This is how I sideboarded:

I decided I would just lose to Exalted Angel if Lanny sided it in (though I guess I could try to overwhelm it with Siege-Gang Commander). Lanny's best draws require a fast mana advantage, and, again, Heroes (or in this case filthy, unwashed, Goblins) have Wasteland.

Hull Breach seemed like a super high ceiling card because in addition to going one-for-one with a random enchantment, Lanny plays Mox Diamond; so it could be a three-for-one.

The one card I did not side in is Tormod's Crypt. We're pretty sure Jared will side it in but I kind of hate that card. It's only good against the card Replenish here; so it does nothing if Lanny slow-plays enchantment into enchantment. I'd sooner side in the Blasts because they interact with Intuition and Careful Study.

As you can see, I was already siding out a ton of Goblins in exchange for cards that deal no damage. I think Crypt is just too much at this point.

Still, as the Tweet says, "4-0 feels like 8-0 when you 2-0 Lanny though!"

3-0

Round Four: Sylvain with The Rock

The Rock is actually a pretty difficult matchup for Goblins. I joke about The Rock being a 45% win rate deck, but a combination of Engineered Plagues + big 4/4, 6/6, or effectively 9/9 threats can close the game before Goblins recovers.

I got this one 2-1, and I think it was largely just because two of Sylvain's copies of Pernicious Deed were still in the mail come meetup time. I can only assume he did not use Promo Code: Flores.

We split the first two 1-1; this is how I sideboarded:

I wanted some more enchantment removal for Deed and Plague; and Tinkerer doesn't have a lot of text against big Black-Green. My thinking on Goblin Piledriver was simply that Sylvain had a Walls-heavy version with both Wall of Roots and Wall of Blossoms; Call of the Herd; and Spiritmonger on top of Ravenous Baloth in the Beasts department. My puny (if ambitious) 1/2 2-drops were just not going to get through consistently.

So, of course, I didn't have a third Piledriver in my deck to Goblin Matron for on the last few turns, resulting in several turns of successful chump blocking on The Rock's part. Oh well, Heroes (aka Goblins) eventually got there anyway.

And thaaaaaat's 4-0.

LOVE

MIKE

Post Script: A number of Premodern luminaries have Goblins as at least a slight dog to Replenish. As you know, I was not one of them. The combination of a clock (something The Rock doesn't have) and main-deck Naturalize (something that Red Deck doesn't have) slot Goblins in a predatory niche in-matchup. Combine that with Jared's Wastelands and... I think we got what we needed out of this meetup. My ultimate goal, after switching to Lackeys and Matrons and Warchiefs (oh my) was to bully Lanny off of Replenish, so that he'd have a better chance against a deck that has been invincible for Mr. Doucette so far. Lanny's hubris was that Mox Diamond would be enough to counteract on-the-play advantage. It was not. At the time of this writing I don't know what either mage will submit for tonight's match; but I'd gamble that Jared will be leading on first turn Goblin Lackey.

Post-Post Script: I said originally that I meant to play one of my intended $1.5k decks in this Premodern meetup before pivoting to Gobbo. Perhaps, after this tidy little undefeated run, I did, in fact, check off the original meaning behind the meetup.

Looks like we'll find out in two weeks!

Register for CommandFest Orlando today!

TAGS articles, constructed, tournament reports, analysis, tournament report, decklist, mike flores, goblins, michael flores, premodern, 09052023

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