Locations
“I guess I concede,” CJ says.
CJ gives you a withering look. “I survived about 30 damage coming in my direction last turn, only to wind up taking a Fireblast to the dome,” he says. “So yeah, I’m pretty sure.”
You watch as he scoops up his cards and then sneak a quick glance at your opponent. Ulazgor the Cruel quickly pretends to adjust his glasses, but there’s no mistaking the smile on his face.
“It looks like it’s just you and me now,” Mari says.
It’s clear you’re losing your Archenemy game. Having found a Plots That Span Centuries on his previous turn, Ulazgor sets no fewer than three new schemes into motion during his main phase. Poor CJ just happened to be the first target of his alpha strike, which got him down to 1 life—fair game for a hard-cast Fireblast during your shared upkeep.
After you and Mari take your draws, you immediately enter a whispered conversation. “Please tell me you have removal,” you tell her. “Like a Damnation. Or a blowtorch.”
Mari flashes the Grim Affliction in her hand. “This’ll have to do,” she says. “What did you draw?”
“An Island.”
“Great. Just great.”
“Are you quite done yet?” Ulazgor asks, still smirking. “I’d rather not let you guys suffer for much longer.”
“That’s Ulazgor the Cruel! I picked a name, and you’ve got to stick to it!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Mari says, waving him off.
“So what’s the plan?” you ask.
Mari shrugs. “The way I see it, we need to get rid of those schemes first. Otherwise, we’re not going to have much of a chance at breaking his defenses. Who knows? Maybe his next scheme’s going to be a lot more forgiving.”
“Or maybe it’ll be a whole lot worse.”
“I like your optimism,” Mari says, “I really do. Now, tell me what you think of this plan . . . ”
It is the start of your first main phase. Force Willy Ulazgor the Cruel to abandon all three of his ongoing schemes this turn.
You’re playing the Archenemy variant, which means that you and Mari share a turn: You both untap your permanents during your team’s untap step, declare all of your attackers at once during your team’s combat step, and so forth. You know what cards are in each other’s hand, and you may coordinate your actions based on this knowledge. You and Mari are considered to be individual players, but not opponents—your only opponent here is Ulazgor.
You are at 14 life with the following cards in play:
- Kor Skyfisher
- Simic Manipulator
- Wall of Denial
- Seht's Tiger (with Ulazgor’s Fool's Demise attached)
- Spear of Heliod
- 3 Plains
- 2 Islands
- Adarkar Wastes
You have the following cards in your hand:
- Island (drawn during your draw step)
- Banisher Priest
Mari is at 17 life with the following cards in play:
- Rotting Rats
- Vitaspore Thallid (with two spore counters on it)
- Bloodflow Connoisseur (with a +1/+1 counter on it)
- Battering Wurm
- Platinum Emperion (tapped and unable to untap during Mari’s untap step due to Ulazgor’s Dungeon Geists)
- Lifespark Spellbomb
- 4 Swamps
- 4 Forests
Mari has the following cards in her hand:
- Reanimate
- Grim Affliction (drawn during your draw step)
Neither of you has played a land this turn. Neither of you knows the identity of any of the cards that are currently on top of your libraries.
Neither of you currently has any creature cards in your graveyards, due to an Embrace My Diabolical Vision that Ulazgor set into motion a few turns ago.
Ulazgor the Cruel is at 36 life and has no cards in his hand. He has the following cards in play:
- Zo-Zu the Punisher (with Ulazgor’s Vulshok Battlegear attached)
- Dungeon Geists (tapping down Mari’s Platinum Emperion)
- Krenko, Mob Boss
- Aetherling
- Inferno Titan
- 2 Islands (both tapped)
- 2 Mountains (both tapped)
- Swiftwater Cliffs (tapped)
- Teetering Peaks (tapped)
Ulazgor currently has the following ongoing schemes in motion, due to a Plots That Span Centuries on his previous turn:
If you think you have a great solution in mind, don’t put it in the comments! Instead, send it to puzzles at gatheringmagic dot com with the subject line “Puzzle — But For Me, It Was Tuesday”. We’ll include the best ones in next week’s article along with the next puzzle!
Last Week’s Puzzle
Last week’s puzzle turned out to be a massive stumper. Correct solutions were received from Russell Jones, Sanjay Saith, Tomáš Surýnek, Chadwick Bond, RN G, Andrew Muravskyi, Aaron Golas, and Hyman Rosen.
“Octavia's life is at a lofty 12,” Andrew Muravskyi writes, “and we have three ways of reducing it:”
- Combat damage (Only creatures equipped with Hot Soup can deal it though. Of course, we technically can steal Jungle Weaver, but then we'll be out of Djinn activations and unable to attack with it.)
- Pestilence-like effects (Plague Spitter and Thrashing Wumpus)
- Blowing up Corpse Augur. Octavia won't really have a choice because True Believer makes its controller an illegal target, and donating it to her would be our plan because our graveyard is pretty stocked.
This leaves the question of exactly how to kill Corpse Augur. The most comprehensive solution, surprisingly enough, involves Hot Soup. Russell Jones’s solution elaborates:
- Tap all lands for 8 mana.
- Tap Djinn of Infinite Deceits. Give away True Believer and take Quirion Ranger.
- Tap Courtly Provocateur to force Plague Spitter to block this turn if able.
- Tap Grixis Illusionist to turn one of your tapped lands into a Forest (it doesn't matter which one).
- Pay 5 mana to cast Sky Hussar, untapping the Illusionist, Provocateur, and Djinn (3 mana left).
- Tap the Djinn. Give away Sky Hussar, and take Corpse Augur.
- Pay 3 mana to equip Hot Soup to Corpse Augur.
- Return the “Forest” to your hand for Quirion Ranger to untap the Djinn. The land goes back to its original form once it hits your hand.
- Replay the land. Don't tap it yet.
- Tap Grixis Illusionist to turn your untapped, replayed land into a Swamp.
- Tap Courtly Provocateur to force Sky Hussar to block this turn if able.
- Tap the Djinn. Give away Corpse Augur (still equipped with Hot Soup), and take Thrashing Wumpus.
- Go to combat, and attack with Headless Skaab alone. Plague Spitter and Sky Hussar are both able to block it and must do so; any of Octavia's other creatures except Primeval Force are also capable of blocking, but these don't matter.
- Put Plague Spitter first in the damage-assignment order, and put Sky Hussar second. The order is irrelevant for any other blockers that may exist beyond that because there will not be enough damage to reach them.
- During combat damage:
- Headless Skaab takes at least 2 damage from Plague Spitter and 4 from Sky Hussar, for a lethal 6 damage even if there are no other blockers.
- Assign 2 damage from Headless Skaab to Plague Spitter (which will die) and 1 damage to Sky Hussar (which will not yet be lethal against its 3 toughness).
- No other blocking creatures take any damage.
- After Headless Skaab and Plague Spitter both die, Plague Spitter triggers, dealing 1 damage to everything (Octavia goes to 11 life, and you go to 2 life). Quirion Ranger dies and goes to Octavia's graveyard. Grixis Illusionist and Courtly Provocateur both die and go to your graveyard, making a total of seven creature cards there.
- The damage to Corpse Augur triggers Hot Soup, causing the Augur to die as well.
- Corpse Augur has a death trigger. It's been given back to Octavia, so she controls the trigger and therefore chooses the "target player" as required—but she also controls your donated True Believer, still alive as a 2/2 with 1 damage on it, so she has shroud and therefore you are the only target she can legally choose.
- In response to the death trigger, tap the changed Swamp for
and use that to activate the stolen Thrashing Wumpus. Octavia goes to 10 life, you go to 1 life, and all creatures have another damage marked. - This damage proves lethal to True Believer, Kitsune Palliator, and Sky Hussar, all of which go to your graveyard. There are now ten creature cards there.
- Corpse Augur's trigger resolves. Octavia draws ten cards and loses 10 life, going to 0 life.
That said, Hot Soup also has a more direct use: getting one of your creatures through unblocked. In this case, the Courtly Provocateur is critical in getting enough damage to kill the Corpse Augur, as Sanjay Saith writes:
- Equip Hot Soup to Djinn of Infinite Deceits.
- Tap Courtly Provocateur to force Corpse Augur to block.
- Tap Grixis Illusionist to make one of your tapped lands into a Forest.
- Tap the Djinn to exchange control of True Believer and Quirion Ranger.
- Play Sky Hussar and untap the Provocateur, the Illusionist, and the Djinn.
- Tap the Djinn to exchange control of Thrashing Wumpus and Kitsune Palliator.
- Tap Courtly Provocateur to force Plague Spitter to block.
- Return your tapped “Forest” to your hand to have Quirion Ranger untap the Djinn.
- Play the land in your hand.
- Tap Grixis Illusionist to make the land you just played a Swamp.
- Enter combat, and swing with the Djinn (equipped with Hot Soup) and Headless Skaab. Your opponent can only block Headless Skaab, and she must block with Corpse Augur and Plague Spitter. If she adds more blockers, those will make no difference.
- The Djinn will deal 2 damage, taking your opponent to 10 life. Assign 2 damage from Headless Skaab to Corpse Augur and 1 damage to Plague Spitter. Headless Skaab takes a total of 6 damage and dies.
- Tap your Swamp to activate Thrashing Wumpus's ability, dealing 1 damage to each creature and player, making your life totals 9 and 2 respectively. Quirion Ranger, Plague Spitter, Corpse Augur, Grixis Illusionist, Courtly Provocateur, and the Djinn (because of Hot Soup) all die.
- When Plague Spitter and Corpse Augur die, their abilities will trigger. Your opponent still controls True Believer and must target you with Corpse Augur's effect when it goes on the stack.
- If your opponent lets Corpse Augur's effect resolve first, this causes her to lose 8 life from the eight creature cards in your graveyard. She draws eight cards, goes to 1 life, and dies when Plague Spitter’s ability resolves.
- If your opponent lets Plague Spitter’s ability resolve first, this kills True Believer and Kitsune Palliator, bringing your life totals to 8 and 1. Then she dies when Corpse Augur’s ability resolves and causes her to lose 10 life.
Interestingly enough, you can also ignore Hot Soup completely. This frees up enough mana for you to activate Thrashing Wumpus without having to use Quirion Ranger to bounce one of your lands. Chadwick Bond’s solution follows the lines of thought above, but with the following variations:
- For both occasions when you activate Grixis Illusionist’s ability, make one of your lands into a Swamp (so you end up with two Swamps).
- Before combat, use one of the Swamps to activate Thrashing Wumpus. Octavia goes to 11 life, and we go to 2. Grixis Illusionist, Courtly Provocateur, and Quirion Ranger die. All other creatures are dealt 1 damage.
- Attack with (an unequipped) Djinn of Infinite Deceits and Headless Skaab. Plague Spitter and Corpse Augur must block, and they must block the Skaab. Octavia can choose whether to block Djinn with Jungle Weaver. We'll assume she does.
- Assign 1 damage to Plague Spitter and 2 damage to Corpse Augur. Since they each already had 1 damage dealt to them by Thrashing Wumpus, both of them die from combat damage. Headless Skaab dies from combat damage as well.
- At this point, Octavia must put her creatures' death triggers on the stack. Because she controls True Believer, Octavia has shroud, so she cannot target herself with Corpse Augur. The trigger must be put on the stack targeting us, and its target cannot be changed later.
- If she resolves Plague Spitter's trigger first, we do nothing in response. This brings Octavia to 10 life and kills Kitsune Palliator, True Believer, and Djinn of Infinite Deceits (as it was dealt 5 damage by Jungle Weaver). Corpse Augur then causes Octavia to lose 10 life due to the ten creatures in our graveyard.
- If she resolves Corpse Augur’s trigger first, we activate Thrashing Wumpus with our second Swamp. This has the same effect as above, and Octavia loses before the Plague Spitter trigger can resolve to kill us.
- Even if Octavia decides to let the Djinn of Infinite Deceits go unblocked, this deals 2 damage to her, and you still get nine creatures in your graveyard for the Corpse Augur’s trigger.
“Octavia's mistake,” Chadwick concludes, “was in casting Thrashing Wumpus too soon. If she had waited, we would have had no way to win this turn. Then she would have had enough mana to cast the Wumpus and activate it three times to kill us on her next turn.”
