I have this budget Etali, Primal Storm deck I play with my group occasionally. It's kind of annoying, actually, because no one really says anything as I start playing, they just casually do everything they can so I don't get to keep Etali around for an attack step. I complain they're not letting me do my thing, and they point out they don't really want to get "Etali'd", which is a verb I've come to appreciate very much.

Anyone who's read my column more than a few times also knows I love Mono-Black decks. So, imagine how excited I was when I saw this little dude:

I like my Etali deck because it lets me win games with other peoples' stuff. Seems like Tinybones might be able to do that, too. Let's see.

Tinybones, the Pickpocket | Commander | Mark Wischkaemper

• Commander (1)
• 1 Tinybones, the Pickpocket

• Creatures (8)
• 1 Crypt Ghast
• 1 Dread Cacodemon
• 1 Magus of the Coffers
• 1 Moriok Replica
• 1 Murderous Rider
• 1 Nirkana Revenant
• 1 Suspicious Bookcase
• 1 Triarch Praetorian

• Instants (16)
• 1 Altar's Reap
• 1 Cast Down
• 1 Corrupted Conviction
• 1 Costly Plunder
• 1 Deadly Dispute
• 1 Fanatical Offering
• 1 Go for the Throat
• 1 Heartless Act
• 1 Hero's Downfall
• 1 Merciless Resolve
• 1 Murder
• 1 Nasty End
• 1 Reckoner's Bargain
• 1 Rowan's Grim Search
• 1 Succumb to Temptation
• 1 Village Rites

• Sorceries (12)
• 1 Decree of Pain
• 1 Gruesome Realization
• 1 In Garruk's Wake
• 1 Infectious Inquiry
• 1 Life's Finale
• 1 Live Fast
• 1 Night's Whisper
• 1 Pointed Discussion
• 1 Read the Bones
• 1 Sign in Blood
• 1 Skulltap
• 1 Syphon Mind

• Enchantments (1)
• 1 Tinybones Joins Up

• Artifacts (22)
• 1 Altar of the Brood
• 1 Bilbo's Ring
• 1 Caged Sun
• 1 Expedition Map
• 1 Extraplanar Lens
• 1 Gauntlet of Power
• 1 Grindstone
• 1 Hot Soup
• 1 Infernal Idol
• 1 Manifold Key
• 1 Millstone
• 1 Mindcrank
• 1 Prowler's Helm
• 1 Psychic Paper
• 1 Realmbreaker, the Invasion Tree
• 1 Sands of Delirium
• 1 Silver Shroud Costume
• 1 Skullclamp
• 1 Sonic Screwdriver
• 1 Sword of Body and Mind
• 1 Thieves' Tools
• 1 Whispersilk Cloak

• Lands (40)
• 26 Swamp
• 1 Access Tunnel
• 1 Arcane Lighthouse
• 1 Cabal Coffers
• 1 Deserted Temple
• 1 Detection Tower
• 1 Encroaching Wastes
• 1 Escape Tunnel
• 1 Reliquary Tower
• 1 Rogue's Passage
• 1 Tectonic Edge
• 1 The Black Gate
• 1 Thespian's Stage
• 1 Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
• 1 Vesuva

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My experience with Mono-Black decks is pretty deep; I've been playing them since around 2008. My first Commander deck (back when it was EDH) was Mono-Black, and I always have at least a couple of them kicking around my bag. There are two things Mono-Black does really well: kill other stuff and make mana. Both should come in handy here.

Let's talk about mana. Black can do this a couple of ways, but we're going classic, with Cabal Coffers and Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth. We make all our Lands Swamps, then Cabal Coffers taps for a whole bunch. We also have Vesuva and Thespian's Stage to copy the Coffers, allowing us to make even more mana. Plus we have Nirkana Revenant, Crypt Ghast, and Magus of the Coffers to give us even more mana. All of this is here because we're not running tutors, so we can't guarantee we'll see the Coffers/Urborg thing, and because we want to make sure we can cast whatever we nab with Tinybones. If we've got some huge nine-mana permanent, we'll need a bunch of mana! We also have an Expedition Map, and traditionally we use that to get Cabal Coffers, but in this case, I'd actually use it to get Access Tunnel. We need our little 1/1 to get through, and Access Tunnel will give us that way. If you've already got a way to get Tinybones through, though, you can make a different decision.

We need Tinybones to get through, and because we're doing this without tutors, we have a bunch of ways to connect. We're almost certainly going to have more than we need, but that's good, because once people realize what's going on, they're going to start destroying our ways of sneaking Tinybones past blockers. Access Tunnel and Rogue's Passage are probably our best ways, but they're pricey every turn. Thieves' Tools is one of the best out there, and Whispersilk Cloak will also prevent him from getting whacked with spot removal. I like Hot Soup a lot. Bilbo's Ring will often draw us some extra cards.

Speaking of, we also draw a number of cards, again, because we really need to find a way to sneak him through. Mostly we have versions of Altar's Reap; we sacrifice a Creature or an Artifact, pay a little mana, and draw a couple of cards. We also have a few Sign in Blood-type cards, where it's lose life and draw cards. My thinking with the Altar's Reaps is Tinybones is really cheap and we can reliably sacrifice him if we need to (we have Skullclamp with the same reasoning), but we can also always sacrifice random stuff we've stolen if it's not useful anymore. If for some reason we wind up with someone's Arcane Signet or a random Treasure token, we can often sac those. Same is true with their Puresteel Paladin or whatever.

We have several spot removal spells so we can kill a thing we want and steal it. Normally I like Exile spells, but in this case that's self-defeating, so we Murder. We also have a few board wipes, including my favorite Life's Finale, once again proving its worth by letting us pick the three best things in someone's deck and setting them up to be stolen. Between the mana we can make and Tinybones' cost, we should be fine if he dies even several times.

The final thing we do is mill some cards. This is a funny thing - I hate it when people run random mill effects. Stuff like Altar of the Brood and Grindstone really bother me. But in this case, they're quite useful to us, and it's not like we're not already annoying, stealing everyone's stuff all the time. Besides, sometimes when one plays a deck like this, people just stop playing out Creatures and stuff because they're afraid we'll kill it and steal it; milling them makes sure we still have targets for Tinybones when we attack. Sword of Body and Mind is probably the best one, since it mills so many cards, but Altar of the Brood is pretty great too. I also really like Realmbreaker, the Invasion Tree; it's pricey, but it gives us more Land and fills up 'yards with yummy treats for Tinybones to pilfer.

One card my editor and I went back and forth on was Altar of Dementia. In the event someone can steal their stuff back, it'd be nice to be able to sacrifice it in response. We have a number of draw spells which require a sacrifice, so hopefully that will do it, but if you find that happening a lot, consider the Altar. Additionally, we have Tectonic Edge and a few other Land-destruction Lands; those are there for Homeward Path. If someone plays that Land, we need to blow it up pretty much immediately.

This is a very focused deck. It does one thing, and it relies on stealing other players' stuff in order to win the game (I suppose it might be possible to win with Dread Cacodemon, but it seems unlikely). We make mana, we make Tinybones unblockable, and we start stealing stuff. While we're at it, we kill some things and mill some cards so we have plenty of targets for Tinybones. It should be a real hoot to play, and the fun had while people are milling should be great.

How do you feel about playing with other peoples' stuff? I'd love to hear about it on social media, so please reach out.

Thanks for reading.