Seven Deadly Commanders — Envy

Posted on June 6, 2016

Allow me to set the stage for you.

You’re four years old. You’ve spent a gorgeous, sunny day being dragged around by your family running errands. You’re walking through an outdoor shopping mall, so it’s no wonder you’re tired and cranky. Then you spot them — big kids. They look so cool. They’re bigger, sure, and they have awesome clothes and sunglasses and all kinds of things that make them look like you want to be friends with them, but most importantly . . . they’re eating ice cream. They’re enjoying a rainbow of double scoops, with ice cream running down their fingers and faces, dripping on the ground. Your mouth starts to salivate, and all you can think about is how badly you want that ice cream they have. You snap and start to wail. Can life be more unfair?

Envy isn’t subtle. It overwhelms, driving us to behaviors we would otherwise never have, causing anger and resentment even among the closest of friends, making us insane with the desire for the things other people have. How we manage it in our lives is one thing, but today, we’re going to attempt to demonstrate it in deck form; let’s give envy its due. They have it? We want it. So let’s take it.

This guy is here for two primary reasons. First, he gives us the color identity we want for our theme, and second, he lets us cycle through our deck in the event we want to dig for a very specific card or type of card.

Also, we’re going to continue the trend of this series of seven sins and build a deck where the whole point is the theme. It’s so extreme in this case, however, I’m going to eschew the traditional look at My Deck Tickled a Sliver in favor of a more direct approach. We’re really set up to do exactly one thing — steal other players’ things so they can’t have them — and we’re not going to mess around with card draw or answers or stuff like that. So instead of the normal, we’re going to do a bit of a primer on thievery in Magic, then go through some individual card choices and talk about directions one could go to make the deck more personal.

Stealing comes in two basic flavors in our favorite game: Control Magic effects and Threaten effects, both named after their original cards. Control Magic effects are commonly Blue, more often than not steal a creature, and — most importantly — steal it for good. Regularly they’re enchantments which take control, but occasionally a sorcery does it. Sorceries tend to be more powerful, because then a random Naturalize doesn’t give the thing back. Threaten effects, on the other hand, are most often Red, and only take the creature for the turn. They come in sorcery (offensive), instant (combat trick), and the occasional creature variety, which are often very powerful because they can be abused. If you’ve ever seen a Zealous Conscripts on a Mimic Vat, you know what I’m talking about.

In Commander, both styles can be very strong, if for no other reason than people tend to play with powerful stuff in the format. So, stealing means we get the powerful stuff. But to run Threaten effects, we have to back it up somehow — we either need to be completely secure we’re going to win the game with our Threaten, or we need to make sure they get back a dead creature (or planeswalker, or artifact, or whatever). We may be jealous of what they’ve got, but once we take it, we sure don’t want to give it back!

So we’ve got four card types in the deck, and that’s it. We’ve got lands, we’ve got Control Magics, we’ve got Threatens, and we’ve got 11 sacrifice effects, with a couple doing double duty as lands. We probably don’t need more than one sacrifice effect per game, but we really need that one, and these give us a reasonable shot without taking up too much space in the deck.

What?s Yours is Mine ? EDH | Mark Wischkaemper

Commander (1)
1 Arjun, the Shifting Flame

The lands are pretty simple. We’ve got all the dual lands we can afford, plus a High Market (thanks for the reprint, Wizards!) and a City of Shadows. These two do a good job of getting rid of things we’ve stolen for a turn; City of Shadows can get out of hand with the right draw. Arcane Lighthouse does a good job of shining a light on any creatures our opponents try to hide with silliness like Hexproof or Shroud. If we want it, we’re going to get it. Round that out with basics and we come to the magic number of 40.

The sacrifice effects are also pretty clear. Some of them are free, some cost mana, and both High Market and City of Shadows require a tap, so be very careful when considering a theft; make sure there’s mana for the Threaten and the sacrifice. The two altars — Altar of Dementia and Ashnod's Altar — are probably the best ones, because they’re free to sac and therefore unlimited in use, but they also have abilities which can help us a lot — with the right combination of events, we might actually mill someone out with Dementia. Spawning Pit is great, too. If someone kills one of our good ones, steal one of their dudes, sac it to Trading Post, and get the artifact back. Revenge is a great partner to envy.

Control Magic is here, as are a good number of its cousins, including some really strange versions like Helm of Possession (which does a nice job of doubling as a sacrifice effect) and Dominating Licid, which requires us to turn it into an aura. Make sure to watch the language, though, because most of them say “creature”, but a few of them say “permanent”, which is awesome because we get to steal planeswalkers. Also, we have the classics Steal Enchantment and Steal Artifact, which, well, steal an enchantment and steal an artifact. We even have Carry Away, which steals a piece of equipment. And we get to play Annex, which is hilarious — we get to steal a land!

Threaten is also in the 99, with even more family members, though often these are more removed than cousin. Harness by Force can grab even more stuff, Mob Rule gives us a choice, and Word of Seizing lets us steal something without any chance of response from our opponents. Again, watch the wording — most grab dudes, but there are occasional different wording which give us more options.

Finally, we’ve got a couple of spells which steal, but in a strange way, so let’s go through those. We’ve got Hellkite Tyrant, which steals every artifact a single player controls and happens to have an alternate win condition attached. Roil Elemental lets us Landfall to steal creatures. Aethersnatch and Spelljack both let us steal a spell while it’s being cast — that’s any spell. Meanwhile, Acquire and Knowledge Exploitation give us the opportunity to look through someone else’s library and take something — an artifact or an instant or sorcery, depending. Finally, Brand is a one-shot, one-sided Homeward Path, just in case someone decides to use our strategy against us. We want their stuff — they don’t get ours.

Illusory Gains is one of the best thematic cards in the deck — remember, envy isn’t rational. What better representation of that than a card which steals the newest thing that’s come out? You lose the enchantment if you sac the creature, but your opponents will worry about playing anything good for fear you will send it to the ‘yard.

Aura Thief deserves special mention, because it works rather strangely. When Aura Thief dies, we gain control of every enchantment on the battlefield. That includes Gods and their weapons, of course, which is fun, as well as things like Propaganda and Phyrexian Arena. We also gain control of all auras — but we don’t get to move them. So if someone has a Flight of Fancy on their Molten Primordial, we can sacrifice it if we have a Claws of Gix, but we can’t put it on one of our things — it stays put on that Primordial unless we can sacrifice it. However, it does mean if we gain control of a Firebreathing, they can’t activate it. If somebody else has used a Control Magic enchantment, we become the “you” who controls the target. It also means if we get a random Vow of Wildness or other Vow, we’re the “you” on the enchantment, so our opponent can attack the person who cast the Vow but can’t attack us. And it’s permanent, not something which ends at the end of turn. Achievement unlocked if you manage to do this with an Enchanted Evening on the battlefield!

This deck is more of a thought experiment than a playable deck — though it could be interesting to see how a deck like this does at a table. Maybe wear a green shirt to demonstrate how envious it is? Green sleeves, at least. If anyone builds it as-is, please let me know how it goes! That said, there are a few ways one could take this to make it much more playable.

First off, making the stealing a sub-theme to a more traditional U/R deck would likely have more chances of winning actual games. Also, following My Deck Tickled a Sliver, actually building some draw and real answers (including more Counterspell effects) would be stronger. A different commander could also help — Nin, the Pain Artist might be fun – and adding a color – going into Jeskai or Grixis – gives even more options.

There are also some great cards which aren’t included here, mostly for cost considerations. Miren, the Moaning Well would be nice, and Diamond Valley, of course, would be amazing. Dominus of Fealty is really cool. Memnarch is sort of a classic — though a bit slow — and Treachery and Bribery are both excellent. Probably the first thing I’d add would be Expedition Map – High Market is just so helpful.

How would you demonstrate Envy? This or something completely different? And what would you do to this deck to make it work? Sound off in the comments!

Join us one more time in a couple of weeks for our final sin — Wrath! In the meantime, go get some ice cream. You’ve earned it.