If you will allow me, I'd like to spend today's column talking about what's on a lot of our minds: the bans and the subsequent shakeup of Commander's governing bodies. I'm going to do it through some personal stories. I'll be back to building decks soon, looking to Duskmourn for inspiration.

I have a few game instances which really stand out. I've played a lot of games of Magic over my nearly 30 years playing this game, so it stands to reason that would happen. One was a game at a draft. I don't remember what set it was, but I remember it was an FNM.

My draft went poorly. I am not much of a limited player, and I always prefer sealed to drafting, but sometimes you play what's offered. I sat down at my regular LGS across from someone I'd never met before. We introduced ourselves, and I said something about how my draft had gone terribly and I had gotten really crappy cards.

I stomped him. Two games, I killed him and never took a point of damage. I absolutely wiped the table with him. I was stunned - elated, but stunned - that my terrible pile had done so well. I stuck out my hand and said "good games."

He looked at my hand, shook his head, and said, "nah, man. That wasn't cool. You said you had terrible cards." He picked up his stuff and walked away.

I talked to several friends who also played at that shop and they said that was really strange - this cat was around a lot (he just didn't play Commander, which is why I didn't know him) and he was really cool.

That's stuck with me over the years. I didn't mean to upset him. I was honestly surprised my deck did as well as it did. (I actually went first in that draft, though I stopped telling people my deck was bad after that round.) I really thought I was just making casual talk at the beginning of a match, and I certainly wasn't trying to get in his head. I've felt bad about it ever since, and regret never having seen him again to apologize - the shop closed shortly after that and I never encountered him again.

Recently, my group has started meeting at a new LGS which has been around for only a year (shout out to Bat City Comics & Games in Austin, TX!). It's a great shop - it's in a former Payless Shoe Store: if you've ever been in a Payless, you know that means it's huge and bright. Perfect for lots of spaces to play.

Most of the time, we keep to ourselves, but as they've grown a following, more and more Commander players are showing up with no group looking to pick up a game. We ended up playing a game with a guy we didn't know a few months ago. After we introduced ourselves, I attempted a Rule Zero conversation, asking him what kind of deck he was going to play, specifically asking for power level. He said he built budget decks with lots of synergy and had a generally fun-oriented play style.

The dude Stone Rained me on turn three.

I don't have a problem with being Stone Rained, but... Stone Rain doesn't feel like a casual, fun-oriented card to me. You do that, you throw fire, and I'm going to want to be able to dish it back. I was playing a new, unpolished deck (I do that a lot, because I regularly build decks I build for my columns and play them), and was completely unprepared. It set me back and I wasn't in the game until I died, unceremoniously and without affecting the game at all.

But the thing is - he wasn't wrong. Neither was I. We simply have different perspectives. I believe this guy really thought he was telling the truth when he described his deck to us. And I'm entitled to my understanding of what power level is, just as everyone else is, and there's no requirement we have to agree.

Both of these stories, I hope, illustrate the point I'm trying to make: it is very easy for us to disagree honestly about power level. Plenty of games are played around kitchen tables where the only card pool is a booster box four friends bought together. For them, a single copy of Starfall Invocation might be the absolute bane of the table. Plenty of other games are played at LGSs where multiple Wrath of Gods per game are common and the card pool is whatever they want, because they just order it off a website when they want something. Both of those groups will likely describe themselves as casual, and would do so correctly. But it's likely someone from the second group would wreck the table of the first.

I get what Wizards is trying to do with its four-point ranking system. But I believe, no matter how well-intentioned, it will not be effective, because how you put the cards together is at least as important as the cards you include. My $20 Ellyn Harbreeze, Busybody deck regularly wins games against decks which run much more powerful cards. They would certainly be in different tiers, but because of luck and experience, I built a deck which punches well above its weight. I built a $1 Talrand, Sky Summoner deck which wasn't my own build but also is shockingly strong and would never rank higher than the lower tier.

My point here is this: Commander needs more words, not fewer. We don't need to consult lists. We need to talk to each other, openly, without fear, and then we need to remember we're different humans with different experiences and understandings and we need to be able to trust each other that we mean what we say and don't mean to disrupt a game. I'm not angry at the guy who Stone Rained me. And rather than be mad, I need to chalk it up to a 45-minute experience where I learned that maybe my deck needs more resilience, and I got to hang out with my friends and make a new one. And if I play against him again, probably run something different.

But as Wizards takes over running this format, which has always been community-driven, I encourage them to not just try to solve the power-level issue with a tier system which will be terribly flawed. They need to continue to encourage - and model - healthy, open, friendly, and positive pre- and inter-game communication.

Here's another story. I remember leaping with joy when I opened my first Primeval Titan in a booster pack, slotting it gleefully into my Molimo, Maru-Sorcerer deck. I played one game where I got it out, and it absolutely destroyed the game. I know I won, and if I remember correctly (this was a long time ago, now) it was because everyone just scooped when I played it. That was the only time I got Primetime out in a game of Commander, but it wasn't the only time I saw it at a table. Every time I did, it was the problem. It got stolen, killed, and did a lot to make sure the controller won the game. Despite the fact I "lost some money" (I still have it in a binder), I was glad when they banned it. Molimo still won games, and people stopped groaning when I played it because they knew they wouldn't have to face the menace.

Sheldon Menery did a lot to create a format and a culture built around fun, community, and communication. I believe the Rules Committee has done a good job balancing the format with their bans. And while some bans may seem strange - the Moxes, for example - in some ways, they make great sense. If the Alpha Moxes were legal, they would be almost certain must-adds to every deck. That would mean people with access to a lot more funds (or a willingness to proxy) will have a huge advantage over those who don't. There are still expensive cards, but not like that. I believe they want to make a format that works for the broadest group of people possible, and in doing so they're going to ruffle some feathers, because what's good for the many may not be good for the few. Sure, Dockside Extortionist is a strong card in a lot of decks, but the cEDH decks which rely on it are a very small population of the format, most of which is casual and much of which never reads this kind of content.

Another story. My very good friend at work is gamer-adjacent. She likes board games and video games but is not super hardcore. She has dabbled in Magic before - it's hard to be a gamer and not at least have experienced it - and her husband has messed with it a bit more. In a sneaky attempt to get her interested, I recommended she might check out Bloomburrow, thinking the art style might fit her vibe. It worked, and she and her husband have now bought quite a few Bloomburrow packs and cards and play many nights together. They've also both brought me their decks for deck techs and this week I even got to play some 60-card at lunch (which was awesome).

The first time we sat down to talk about her deck, I'd spent a bit of time thinking about how to approach it. This is someone who gets the rules generally but has no experience at all with deckbuilding. There are a lot of angles one can take, but I decided on this one: I said, "there is one thing about Magic which supersedes all others: Magic is a game. It's supposed to be fun. If anything I say sounds like not-fun to you, ignore me. Do what you want. If you're not enjoying yourself, you're doing it wrong." I went on to say my understanding of the game is to beat the other player(s), so I'm going to help her with that idea in mind, but if that's not her goal (and it often isn't, though she seems to get great glee when she beats her partner), she should do what she wants.

I really believe this. For the vast majority of us, Magic is a game, something we do for fun, with our leisure time. We spend money on it not because we have to, but because we want to. We enjoy the time with friends, or the challenge of a new idea, or the math of combat, or figuring out how to do a combo, or because we just want to build a Rabbit deck. If we're not enjoying it: we're doing it wrong.

One more story. In a game a few weeks ago, I did something (I don't recall what) that I knew was going to be annoying for the other players. I said, as I did it, "I hope you guys don't hate me for this." I knew they wouldn't, but one of my friends, a terrific Magic player and deep thinker, said "I have a hard time imagining something you could do in a game of Magic that would make me not be friends with you." That hit me hard because he's right, and he should be right. And that should expand to the entire game - there is nothing in Magic we should be able to do to prevent us from being friends. If Wizards makes you mad with a set or a decision, feel free to write them and let them know, or quit playing. If someone runs a deck you don't like and you can't seem to beat, figure out how to beat it or ask them to play one of yours. If someone ruins your line of play, they're just doing what they're supposed to do. We need to breathe, remember it's a game, and have fun with it.

And so I close with this: members of the varying governing bodies of Commander were exposed to vitriol and even death threats. I would go so far as to say humanity should be above such behavior, but for now, I'm just going to say this: Magic has no place for that. Y'all, it's a game.

My colleague and friend Stephen Johnson wrote an excellent article showing how the bans can actually have a positive effect on a collection. In it, he says if you're one of the people who responded to the bans with such hate, you should leave. I'd like to offer a different suggestion.

If the bans made you so angry you felt the need to threaten someone or say something you shouldn't to someone else, even if you didn't do it - take a breath. Talk to a friend, a confidant, a family member, a teacher. If they don't know Magic, tell them you'll need a little time because they're going to have to understand how important it is to you. If you don't have someone like that in your life, write to this website and ask to be put in touch with me - I'll talk to you. Take the game seriously. Build decks because they matter. But never forget - this is a game. If it's not fun, you're doing it wrong, and if it's making you that angry, you need to get to the bottom of those feelings. You need to tell your homies you're really pissed and you need some support. You need to take a long walk and work through your feelings. You need to sit down with a group of people and sling some cardboard for fun and remind yourself why you started this in the first place.

The world is better with love than hate. We can't erase it all, but we can do better, and we can start with ourselves and our little corner of the universe. Play the game. Have fun. Share love.

Thanks for reading.