I’ve embraced my inner Timmy a lot recently.

Ah yes, the Timmy. Timmy is a power gamer. Timmy loves the simple things in life: Big splashy creatures that win the game quickly. Big splashy spells with a major impact on the board state. Timmies aren’t always as concerned about the casting cost of their cards, and hey, if they have to go to 61 or 64 cards, who cares? Timmies are about the game, the fun, and the people.

I’ve sort of enabled my social Timmy, as well as my admitted Johnny tendencies. I am an open Johnny, and a closet Timmy.

Johnny vs Timmy vs Spike — Three ways of playing and seeing the game. The first sees Magic as a puzzle, and tries to unlock the mysteries. Combos. Synergies. They live for the moment. When everything slows down, you combine various pieces into a symphony, and then everyone around you gasps in awe. Wow! I didn’t know Magic could do that. That’s my Johnny. Timmies are about the fun. Games are supposed to be fun, right? Right! What’s fun in Magic? Big spells! Big creatures! The splashier the better! And Spikes are about winning. Games are, by definition, about winning. Sure, in their right and winning places, combos or splashy effects have value, but winning is about winning. Cheap casting costs, trading resources for power early on, dominating your foes, and winning. Do you see Magic as a game to figure out, as a game to enjoy, or as a game to win. All have equal value.

I’m a Johnny first, and a Timmy second. I have to admit that. But I am a Timmy. I have a deck that’s over 3000 cards in part for that moment. For when you drop the big, giant deck box of around 700 cards, and pull out the purple sleeves. “That’s one deck?” everyone askes in shock? No, it’s just 20% of one deck! That’s my Timmy moment.

So what are the best Timmy cards out there? What are the big spells and bigger creature that rock all day long?

Let’s take a look!

10. Plague Wind

I know it’s expensive. Don’t care. I know that later cards did things slightly better like In Garruk's Wake or Decree of Pain. Don’t care. Prophecy was one of the Timmiest sets of all time, and the Wind cycle was one of the reasons why. Plague Wind was the classiest of the cycle by far, and one of the most iconic sweeping effects ever printed. Forgot Wrath of God. I can destroy (without regeneration aka bury) all of the stuff everyone else has. And I keep my stuff to boot. None of this symmetrical effect crap. Don’t need it any more. Don’t care. I have my Plague Wind, thank you very much. Boom goes the world!

9. Darksteel Colossus

I once called this (and #1 below on the list) the two major Fundamental Enemies of casual and multiplayer Magic. Both of them just dominated the table. The Darksteel Colossus is strong for three major reasons — size and trample is the first — you can swing all day long and bring serious hurt, smashing through virtually any defense your opponents bothered to assemble. Even stuff like Fog Bank just absorbs two damage and that’s it. The second is the indestructibility, which keeps the creature alive through a lot of traditional answers. The last is the Artifact status, and cards like Tinker and Goblin Welder have been huge allies for the card, helping to drop it very early. It’s also just as happy to head out to the battlefield with normal creature-based tutors as well, like Pattern of Rebirth. This trio of talent made it so powerful and compelling, you saw it a lot. In fact, I pointed out most pinpoint removal needed to be able to take out both Fundamental Enemies of casual tables everywhere, and cards like Swords to Plowshares and Exile were doubly useful because of it. Today, Blightsteel Colossus and the Eldrazi Titans have taken its place in many places, which is pretty sad. It’s just as good as it ever was, and you still see it put to good effect here and there. Play it and prove to everyone just how dark their day will be!

8. Simic Sky Swallower / Iridescent Angel / Sphinx of the Final Word

Timmy doesn’t mind when you play big stuff too! But Timmy certainly is saddened when you stop his stuff. That’s why counters preventing Timmy from ever playing the big stuff is sad. At least a Murder or a Swords to Plowshares let Timmy have that big moment! But still, given the choice between a big beefy creature that swings safely versus another that hits hard but is vulnerable, Timmy prefers the safe route. After all, if you invest in playing a big ol’ face smasher, then you should get back your investment, right? That’s why Timmy likes big beefy creatures that can swing and end games without being touched by removal. The leader and classic game-winner here is Simic Sky Swallower, but recent iterations like Sphinx of the Final Word or Iridescent Angel are certainly in the conversation, n’est pas?

Oh, and in a similar vein, the hard-to-cast but very powerful Progenitus is certainly in the conversation as well.

7. Quicksilver Amulet / Elvish Piper

I can still remember back when new players were actively trading for these cards. And we all thought “How cute are these new players?” in our super-secret pejorative manner. Know what? The joke was on us! First, a Quicksilver Amulet is like ten bucks these days. It’s very good in the default format for casual Magic, where ramp and Timmy is still a serious thing. The Piper is also a strong choice, and an expensive card as well. Both will drop any creature in your hand out for very little mana at instant speed. And you know what? They are still amazing creatures. Amazing cards. Strong accelerants. And folks playing know it.

6. Phage the Untouchable

Phage looks across the board and soon-to-be-dead Creatures and Planeswalkers. All she needs is a simple touch, and all will die writhing in her hand. Know what? In many ways, Phage is the ultimate Timmy creature. Anything she hits dies. If being a Timmy is about playing something big and splashy that will kill in a short time, then nothing beats Phage. If she hits a player, they die. They are out. Phage is the one-hit kill combo wrapped in one.

5. Eureka

No Sorcery or Instant spell in the history of Magic has been as eventful as Eureka. Play it, then folks take turns playing lands, Planeswalkers, Creatures, Enchantments and Artifacts from their hands and filling up the board. The best thing about the card is that no one knows what anyone else has in their hand. Each time something is played, it’s new. You single handedly go from a boring table to a powerful one in one go. The spell’s power builds as more and more permanents drop onto the board. The best is often seeing all of these triggers hit post-Eureka. Okay, Bob’s getting a card from his Phyrexian Rager, and killing something small with Keening Banshee. I’ll bounce my Izzet Chronarch with this Man-o'-War I dropped. Suzy, resolve your Woodfall Primus and kill something. Now Steve? How about that Mycosynth Wellspring? I’ll activate my Mentor of the Meek. Eureka is a game-changing force of nature that always plays differently each time. Here’s to Eureka!

4. Eldrazi Titans (Kozilek, Butcher of Truth; Emrakul, the Aeons Torn; Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre and to a lesser degree Kozilek, the Great Distortion and Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger)

Duh. Sometimes I try to figure out if it’s worth having the obvious cards in these Top Ten Lists. You aren’t learning anything by seeing the Eldrazi Titans in a Top Ten Timmy Card list, you know? I doubt anyone would argue this much. But that’s beside the point at times. The point is to make the best list, period. And a Timmy List without the Eldrazi Titans in it would likely have been penned like a year or two before the original Zendikar Block There’s very little way to justify a non-Eldrazi list. They are played as top end creatures in countless decks, they see play in everything from Legacy and Vintage to Modern, Standard, Commander, and kitchen tables that care more about splashy effects than legal formats. These are the kings of the modern age of Magic. They rule from ramp decks and Eldrazi Temples. They rule from reanimator and cheating them into play. From Show and Tell’ing to Sneak Attack’ing. They are.

3. Tooth and Nail

By now, I’ve published more than 800 articles for Magic on various websites and magazines. And that’s a lot of Magic to discuss. Despite that, the number of articles that I’ve written focused on just one card is pretty small — probably under 20. I can only think of a handful right now (Djinn Illuminatus, Harness the Storm, Frankie Peanuts, Cloudstone Curio, and Tooth and Nail) and there have been times when Spikes have messed up Tooth and Nail by grabbing some game ending combo or accelerating it off major Urzatron lands or other quick mana ramp, and then use something that prevents it from being countered (like Boseiju, Who Shelters All). But it still a Timmy card to me. And I seriously love spinning mad Timmy beats. What does your Tooth and Nail say about you?

I also used to crack my Protean Hulk to grab beaters, but then Flash was improved as a card, and Flash-Hulk sort of removed the fun Timmy aspects of Hulk from most minds.

2. Insurrection

Ah yes Insurrection. You can also include here cards like Reins of Power, Mass Mutiny, and Twist Allegiance. Insurrection does it best, and yet, there are lots of other less powerful ways to rock similar temporary mass stealing effects. Bring stuff to your side, and then swing with the horde. No Sorcery or Instant has won more games at the casual table than Insurrection. Steal stuff, swing for game. Hey look, everyone likes tapping and swinging with creatures. Even that Spike who pretends not to! So why not swing with all of the creatures?

1. Akroma, Angel of Wrath

Akroma is arguably the most iconic of game enders of all time. From Mono-White Control decks in Standard that ran her to casual tables virtually everywhere, there is no beater that is more prolific. I doubt any creature in Magic has more kills than good ol’ Akroma. She won the Legendary creature battle, she was a major flavor presence in Time Spiral Block, she has sold special stuff like Divine vs Demonic and From the Vault: Angels. And all of that comes from a simple, elegant, French Vanilla creature with nothing but evergreen keywords. Akroma is the winning creature of choice, arguably one of the most iconic creatures in the game, and she represents a lot of damage in the sky. Here’s to Akroma!

Honorable mention to Lord of the Pit, Shivan Dragon, Serra Angel, Sengir Vampire, Mahamoti Djinn, Clockwork Beast and Force of Nature, the original beefy rulers of casual Magic.

Also an honorable mention to Verdant Force, a major Timmy card way back when, since antiquated by many cards, and easy to handle. But here’s to Verdant Force, Jamie Wakefield, and dinosaur tokens.

And you know what? Here’s to making Magic fun! Thank you to Timmies for reminding us that we like to play big creatures and turn them sideways. We like to push the table around with cards like Time Stretch. We love big ways of making all of our creatures Timmy-level threats like Collective Blessing or True Conviction. We love the splash!