Hello!

We are in the middle of a bunch of Un- themed previews. Given that, I wanted to focus on some silver-bordered cards we have out there rocking the block. Yesterday, I built a Commander deck around a legendary creature from Unhinged, and today I wanted to look at some cool silver-bordered cards that work well at the kitchen table that you might have forgotten about.

The Un- sets often have some cards that either take a joke too far, or which feel more like Limited-only chaff that doesn’t really play well outside of Limited play.

Here are good examples of junk cards that have little value today:

These aren’t the sort of cards that last at a kitchen table. They require speaking or doing something off, or they don’t give you much for the jokes. Take Clay Pigeon as a great example. You have to throw it, a and then catch while you remain seated, right? And if you don’t, you lose it. It’s a 3-mana 1/1 flyer, so there’s no board presence there. And once you do, what is the result? You prevent damage from a single source to you. Not to your other creatures as well. Not all damage this turn. Just to you. So in combat, you have to activate, throw, and catch this thing a bunch, and it’s not worth it. You play it once or twice, laugh, and then the card and joke get old, and it’s forgotten, and deservedly so. There’s nothing here.

Some of these cards also have a level of privilege and power baked into the card in a way that feels off. Here’s one example:

Many people just don’t have middle names. The English Naming Convention that is very common in America gives people three names, their given name first, their family name last, and then a middle name that is not normally used. But many culture and naming conventions don’t. For example, many people in China and Japan have a naming convention that puts their family name first, and then their given name comes after. But then many don’t have a middle name. That’s similar to naming conventions like the Icelandic Naming Convention or the Eastern Slavic Naming Convention, where your middle name isn’t technically speaking, a name, but a patronymic title that changes from one person to another. Many naming conventions around the world don’t have middle names, and even people in English Naming Conventions here in America don’t follow those rules either, such as myself (My given name is my middle name, not my first name). The level of privilege into assuming that everyone has a middle name feels off to me now. And to simply dismiss it as a joke that says, well, if you don’t have a middle name, “Don’t run Moniker Mage!” still seems like a joke that went terribly wrong, and now people have to be reminded of it every time they see the card.

Similarly, in an era where I can run Doom Blade and Murder and other similar cards, an ability like Duh has Limited value. Invariably, the card you want to kill doesn’t have reminder text. It’s a joke that plays poorly. And the same is true of weak cards like Bad Ass and Miss Demeanor who don’t have a big enough power to make them work in the context of a Constructed match.

Now compare those joke-only cards or bad cards with those that work within the rules of Magic well enough to have value at the kitchen table, and which are more than just a joke:

Consider Giant Fan and Goblin Bookie as two cards that sort of counter the above issues. Both have jokes baked into the cards, sure. Giant Fan has the name, flavor text and art. But the ability is strong, and it’s always been one of the best received cards in this set. Similarly, take Goblin Bookie, another popular card who gets a lot of play outside of Un- sets. The ability to tap and reflip any coin flip works well with a ton of chaotic coin flipping cards, from Bottle of Suleiman to Goblin Assassin. The only part of the Bookie that doesn’t translate is rerolling any die roll, but that’s only because the first set used dice for random effects. Why not though? Rolling dice is just as random as flipping a coin, and most people bring dice to games to track life or for random effects like random discards. Why not rolling dice for cards as well? Therefore, those cards don’t feel out of place either. They are more of a Planar Chaos, path not taken vibe, but perfectly legal kind of concept.

Here’s another that works, other than the obvious joke

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug is fine. The card itself isn’t very good as a 3/1 haste that’s free one turn, but costs 4 mana the next or your die. But that’s exactly what the Pact cycle is. Removing the Super Haste Language and change the creature type and name and it would be a card you could print in the next set. I’ve seen Wordmail occasionally as well, and you could run it today in something like Bruna, Light of Alabaster decks.

If we unbanned Un– cards, a couple of cars would likely remain banned for power levels, like Gleemax and Mox Lotus.

10. Remodel

Green doesn’t often get exiling artifact removal, which is odd given how important exiling artifacts can be. Red and White can exile with things like Into the Core and Altar's Light. It’s important to have an exiling removal tool for artifacts given the many ways they can be abused in a graveyard, such as Goblin Welder and Academy Ruins. The joke here is in the flavor text and the artists-matter alternate cost. But they aren’t key to the card, and even the art is whimsical, but printable in a black bordered set. Even the name is fine with the other two. I still run this card in Abe’s Deck of Happiness and Joy, a 3500+ highlander multiplayer friendly deck that has been around almost all of my Magic playing days.

9. Jack-in-the-Mox

Because of its built-in five-life and self-destruction, Jack-in-the-Mox plays more nicely at the kitchen table. Given you can’t control the color that you acquire, in fact it plays more like Mox Crystal than anything else. (Mox Crystal is a card created for Five Color by the winner of the first Five Color Invitational that is available on a few websites and such although it was just stickers on cards). But in Commander, you can’t play Jack-in-the-Mox in any deck other than a five-color one, so it’s usefulness is limited to that specific build. It’s a fun card!

8. Gerrymandering

I like land! Everybody likes lands! And like the famous proverbial grass, lands are greener on the other side. We all want what our foes have. We want their lands. Why not shuffle all of the lands and then deal them out to each player until they have the same number of untapped lands? Then you can use the lands, and then get those broken lands like Gaea's Cradle, Volrath's Stronghold, and Academy Ruins all mixed up.

7. Curse of the Fire Penguin

Curse of the Fire Penguin is a useful aura that gives the enchanted creature trample and gives it 6/5 base stats. And like many Red cards in this oeuvre, (See Phoenixes and Hammer of Bogardan for examples), when the creature it enchants dies, you return this immediately to your hand for another go, giving you a solid aura that continues to turn any card you control into a major threat. I particularly like this on a Commander with a low power and toughness so it can kill in four hits of Commander damage, and it will recur as well as the Commander if someone takes it out. The only jokey part is the name and the flip part. If the name were Curse of the Fire Giant, and you replaced the art with non-jokey art, and removed the flip aspect, then it would be a commonly played card, as the mechanics are in flavor for Red and work well at the kitchen table.

Speaking of Giants . . . 

6. Pygmy Giant

I’ve always been a fan of Pygmy Giant, because it self-sacrifices for 487 damage which will kill most creatures. It’s also a one-hit kill for a player from Stuffy Doll, by the way. Or something enchanted by Creature Bond or other similar effects. In addition to that Johnny-tastic comboing, Pygmy Giant plays well with a lot of fun cards out there. Here are a few good examples of some cheaper creatures already in Red, that I have run with Pygmy Giant . . . 

Enjoy!

5. Free-for-All

In a similar way to #8 Gerrymandering above, this enchantment is a cool way to set aside all of those nasty creatures, and then slowly, over time, dole them out randomly under people’s control as they take each of their turns. It plays as a 4-mana Blue Wrath of God variant that slowly brings the stuff back in a more manageable way. Kind of like Evacuation that immediately clears out the board but doesn’t always give long-term card advantage.

4. Incoming!

If you like Eureka, then you’ll love Incoming! It’s one of the coolest cards that has ever been printed, and you can easily imagine just how good it is! Grab all of that cool stuff and put it all out there! Now, like Eureka or Living Death or other similar, “Mass Enters-the-Battlefield” abilities, you often have to deal with a ton of triggers, so it can take a while to process. But you can easily build around it. You can run a lot of synergetic cards that work together. Grab your nasty Tammy/Timmy beaters, your clever Johnny/Jenny, combos, or your game-winning Spike tendencies. Whatever works works. I would love to toss out something that would pop everything as a surprise, like tossing out False Prophet and then killing it with Bone Shredder or Murderous Redcap or something. Maybe an Oblivion Stone? You can figure it out. This card is awesome! It deserves the “!” in its title!

3. Greater Morphling

Greater Morphling is always a fun card. Like its predecessor, it has a ton of abilities, and that brings a number of flexible options to the kitchen table. It has two colorless mana, rather than Blue mana options, so it can be used more powerfully. And the ability to get a ton of keywords like double strike or haste, flying or protection from Green, lots of good stuff. Then you can pump it or change its color or whatever. It’s good stuff!

2. Timmy, Power Gamer

You will not find Johnny, Combo Player on this list, because he takes too long to work and is too powerful. But the power level upgrade from Quicksilver Amulet or Elvish Piper to Timmy, Power Gamer is barely noticeable and easily disrupted as a 1/1 4-mana dork. That makes it work. And it works well because it’s in the color of mana acceleration, and dropping all of those goodies for 4 mana a pop is pretty keen and cool. And instant speed too, by the way, so you can drop stuff in response to people attacking if you need defense, or at the end of someone’s turn, right before you untap and attack with them!

1. Blankman

The name of a card is something that works with a lot of Magic cards. From the grandeur of Korlash, Heir to Blackblade to things like Festering Newt and Bubbling Cauldron to effects like Assembly Hall or Remembrance. Take a look at Evil Twin. You can Clone your _____ with it, and then use it to copy creature’s names and then kill them. _____ plays well with a ton of effects in the game. Especially in Commander where you can use _____ to slide past the Highlander rule and run more than one copy of a card.

And there we are!!! I hope you discovered some great cards for your next project. And as always, thanks for reading!