I once wrote a suicide note to my mom.

I suppose this is a much more suitable place for that line, as it pertains to what I'm about to say.

I grew up in a life that some would call rough. I say that perspective is required, that my "rough" life would have been a veritable heaven to Shin Dong-hyuk. However, in the context of American life, I suppose it wasn't the greatest.

We were easily the poorest kids in school my entire childhood. School kids can be incredibly cruel, using those less fortunate as a stepping stone to social status. I was always the stepping stone, even to my older brother.

The tormentors never stopped, even after I got home. I never wanted to go to school because I would openly face ridicule in class, on the bus, even by the bus driver herself who made me sit in the back so that no one "would have to be around me," laughing with the girls who giggled at that statement.

I never wanted to go home because my older brother awaited me there. Not only did he ridicule me verbally but also physically, making sure I knew my place. His torment went beyond usual older brother fights; he would make sure to pin me down and make me feel completely incapacitated and helpless before pummeling me. He would make sure I knew that I was his inferior.

When I see stories of Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito, when I see people stating that he's "not a man" for not standing up and whatever other crap they come up with, I remember how helpless I felt when even the people in charge were in on the torment. I felt I had nowhere to turn, as my parents were too busy out getting drunk or high to notice or care. Everywhere I turned the people who should have been looking out for my well-being were either adding to the torment or turning a blind eye. It had nothing to do with how strong of a person I was, as eventually the helpless feeling wears even the strongest of people down. I dealt with a lot of things, but even I eventually had enough.

If you take a snapshot of Standard, you will probably find that no more than 20% of the cards available in the format are actually played in decks, and that is being generous. The cream rises to the top and due to opportunity cost, the rest of the cards are not played much, if at all. This is not just a Standard thing either. In Legacy, less than 10% of the cards available see play, although the format is substantially bigger. Modern follows a similar trend.

That leaves some 80-90% of cards gathering dust in boxes at home. These are the cards that people deem to be bad. You have your post children of course, like Chimney Imp of Mindless Null, but it doesn't take being actually bad for people to label you as bad. Cards that simply don't see play are often thought of as bad. “If they were good, they would see play.” I would agree with that statement if everyone were open to that idea, but they aren't.

My goal when I registered for Grand Prix Albuquerque was to win the tournament and/or a flight to Valencia. But my goal for playing Magic at all in the first place is to have fun participating in a hobby I love along with good friends of mine. 99 times out of 100, there’s no conflict for me between winning and having fun. I love winning.

The fact that I talk about strategy with and otherwise prepare for events with Paul all the time reveals another goal: to help my teammates/friends win. In fact, since I really don’t have the time or drive to play Magic full time and try to become one of the very best players, my best chance of participating in stuff like Pro Tour Top 8s or The World Championship is to help my friends who are better than me do it.

Having said all that, it’s not as if I concede to all my friends whenever we play. So what made this situation special? Why was I considering conceding?

One of the questions I get asked the most about drafting is, "How do I know when to change colors during a draft?" This is a deceptively simple question with an unreasonably long answer. There are simply too many factors in any given draft to warrant a basic answer to this question. Signals (the ones you are receiving and the ones you are sending), color preference, potential wheel cards, cards already picked, and many other factors affect your decision.

I'm going to go over how I approach drafting from a big-picture perspective in the hopes that it may help answer the question above.

First thing: I try to stay open for about as long as I can manage it.

Going to your local game store is an odd experience for the uninitiated. Having a gift list that says, “Mind Seize Commander deck 2013,” might be fulfilled, but more likely, it’ll be sold out, and you’ll be receiving a sweater. Sweaters are nice, no doubt, but today, I’m going to create a short list of art-related Magic gifts you can give to that special someone in your life.