"It's a floor wax!"

"It's a dessert topping!"

"Calm down, you two! Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping! And this article is both a tournament report and a primer for playing Time Sieve at States!"

Well, now that our trip down Saturday Night Live Memory Lane is complete, back to our regularly scheduled article. Hope you and yours had a happy Thanksgiving. I know I did. But I know what you're thinking. "Do I get my long awaited PTQ report?" Yes and no. Yes, you're getting a report. No, you're not getting a PTQ report. But this report may be a lot more helpful, as it's my first tournament with the Time Sieve deck I've been bragging about. On top of that, if the report entices you enough to play Time Sieve at States this weekend, the primer that follows will be of utmost interest to you.

The Floor Wax - The Tournament Report

Unfortunately, I had to leave for Boston for Thanksgiving weekend before the cards I ordered from Cool Stuff showed up, so I was forced to go with a strictly inferior list. I brought this to FNM at Your Move Games in Somerville, Mass. on Friday.

Okay, so it doesn't look like it fails that hard, but Time Warp is one of those cards that is either a four-of or a none-of in a deck. But since I'd rather have three Time Warps than zero, I bit the bullet. Oh well.

Round 1 vs. Henry (Esper Ramp)

Henry had an interesting take on Esper decks, using Master Transmuter to pump out fatties like Sphinx of the Steel Wind, Magister Sphinx, Platinum Angel, and others. He started to get the combo going, and his Sphinx Summoner tutored for Platinum Angel, but the Angel would end up staying in his hand as I went off and swung away for the win. Game 2 was where Dispeller's Capsule actually came in handy, as he dropped Platinum Angel successfully but lost it to the Capsule. Decks like these make me wonder if I should include two or three Capsules just in case.

2-0 games, 1-0 matches

Round 2 vs. Ian Paul (Bant Allies)

I saw Ian's deck earlier in the evening, and let me tell you, you better be ready to race him before he plays Rite of Replication on Ondu Cleric. That will put the game completely out of range for most decks. But anyway, I got game 1 in rather ho-hum fashion, but game 2 was put out of reach when he dropped turn 1, 2, and 3 Noble Hierarch. Maelstrom Pulse, please? Not gonna happen. Kabira Evangel gave his Turntimber Rangers and their wolf pals protection from white and he swung in for the win. Game three, though, I started to go off but could not power my way through for the win. I had used up three Time Warps, but what I really needed was another Open the Vaults. If I didn't draw it, I would lose a match I really should have won.

Craig Jones, ladies and gentlemen!

My Glassdust Hulks got huge and unblockable, and I got there with a couple minutes left in the round.

4-1 games, 2-0 matches

Round 3 vs. Oliver Tiu (TurboFog)

Fog is great aggro decks, but even better against decks that win with a limited attack range. Thus, Oliver can sit back on his Angelsongs and Safe Passages to deny me a win and force me to run out of turns. In game 1 everything looked to be going Oliver's way when I mulliganed to five and kept a hand with two Borderposts but no land. Worse yet, even though I was on the draw I still couldn't hit land for the first couple of turns. And then Oliver did something he would end up regretting: he played Font of Mythos turn four. Despite staring down the barrel of six mana and four counters on Luminarch Ascension, drawing three cards a turn would allow me to find the lands I needed to turn things around. He attacked me down to 8 with his angels, but that would be the last relevant thing he would do that game. Game 2 started out rather awkwardly. On the play, Oliver led with a little number called Relic of Progenitus. Ick. Right from the get-go he can render Open the Vaults irrelevant. Fortunately, my opening hand and my subsequent draws were much more useful than the previous game. Despite the two of us drawing six cards a turn at one point thanks to his Font of Mythos and my trio of Howling Mines, he could not draw permission or Fog effects to save his life, and I got there on the back of Master of Etherium.

6-1 games, 3-0 matches

Knowing I would be guaranteed a prize by drawing with my Round 4 opponent, we gladly reported an intentional draw, and by virtue of a strong first tiebreaker, I picked up first place in addition to some packs and the foil Oblivion Ring.

The only negative thing I could take from this tournament was that I didn't get to play against Bloodbraid Elf and company to see if Time Sieve can hold its own against Jund.

The Dessert Topping - The Time Sieve Primer

Okay, so how do you go about playing the real version of Time Sieve? Glad you asked. Here's the final list.

Sideboard Notes

So how do you sideboard against key matchups? Here's my initial plan.

Jund: -2 Font of Mythos, -4 Architects of Will, -2 Glassdust Hulk; +4 Flashfreeze, +4 Celestial Purge

Naya: -2 Font of Mythos, -4 Architects of Will +4 Flashfreeze, +2 Celestial Purge

Vampires: -2 Font of Mythos, -4 Architects of Will, -1 Glassdust Hulk; +4 Celestial Purge, +3 Day of Judgment

TurboFog: -2 Font of Mythos, -2 Architects of Will +4 Negate

In general, the cutting order is as follows:

1. Font of Mythos (2)
2. Architects of Will (1, 2, or 4)
3. Glassdust Hulk (1 or 2)
4. Etherium Sculptor (1 or 2)
5. Kaleidostone (2 or 4)

Situational Plays to Consider

Ramping with Borderposts - The aforementioned Esper Ramp deck didn't once play a Borderpost without paying three mana for it. Don't be afriad to do that yourself. It can save you a turn in going off in some situations.

Dodging Maelstrom Pulse - Blightning? Broodmate Dragon? Bloodbraid Elf? Jund's supposed killer B's are mere moths compared to the hornet that is Maelstrom Pulse. While we're on the subject of Borderposts, be careful with how many you drop. Learning not to overextend on Borderposts, Etherium Sculptors, and Howling Mines until you gain control of the game will be clutch in the Jund matchup. The longer you can limit Pulse to a 1-for-1, the better off you'll be.

You Just Fell for the (Archive) Trap - Shrug it off if you have Open the Vaults in hand, but with all the card draw going on, if your opponent drops a Path on your Etherium Sculptor, DO NOT SEARCH FOR THAT BASIC LAND! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! Furthermore, he's drawing the same number of cards you are from Howling Mine and Font of Mythos, so you don't know if he has one, or God forbid, multiple Archive Traps waiting in the wings. Who knew Path to Exile could read "Make an ass of target opponent"?

For those of you who are wondering where Path to Exile is, my feeling is this: Conley Woods had an interesting point during his deck tech about "Magical Christmasland", and it relates to his inclusions of Mold Shambler and Goblin Ruinblaster: mana is really shaky in this format right now. We are in a standard environment where players are running the most basic lands on average since Mirrodin-Kamigawa-9th. The last thing you want to enable your opponent to do is get free mana, not to mention proper mana, and accelerate into threats, all at the mere cost of one guy who can get eaten by any number of removal spells or 5/5 $50 bills.

Best of luck to you at States, whatever you decide to play - and best of luck to me in getting to the tournament in the first place. Gah.

Until next time, look at that shine!

-Sam