Stop!  Do not flee humans!  Reinhart told me you were skittish and judgmental but I can't believe this... weeping?   You're crying in fear of a simple demon holding a book?  How do you people walk out the door every morning!?  *ahem*  I am here only for your educational benefit, humans!  Let not these horns nor this bloody pentagram tattooed to my forehead keep you from experiencing the most potent of all magics.   Need them not, you say?  Answer me this, mortals... you enjoy winning, do you not?  You hate losing, correct?   Then follow me, eager student and witness powers normally reserved for demigods like myself.

To those of you with the testicular fortitude to continue reading- I congratulate you.  It is not every Wizard that has the will and desire to not only defeat their opponent on the open battlefield but to make sure they never want to cast another spell again.  As far as we are concerned, there are no "House Rules", there are no "Cheap Tricks" and there are certainly no "Banned Cards".   A spell is a spell, is a spell and only a fool would forgo powerful magic like Stasis for some convoluted notion of "honor" or "dignity" or "friendship".   Today I am going to reveal a small but potent list of what you might call "griefer" cards.  Cards that are not only designed to destroy your enemies but that are also intended to humiliate, frustrate and utterly dominate said enemies.  So sit back, keep an open mind and prepare to get in touch with your sadistic side.

No phrase has caused more Turn Two grief than that of "discards X cards at random".  Play this card as early as possible to make sure you have a chance at discarding one of their crucial lands.  You can even Dark Ritual your Mind Twist on turn one or two for an effective, frustrating mana-screw that your opponent will have nightmares about for the rest of their miserable life.  Has you opponent already mulliganed down to six cards with two or three lands?  Hopefully you're going first and can rid him of one or two of those on turn two!  Similar to Hymn to Tourach but with the added bonus of being more effective mid-game, Mind Twist is sure to cause your opponent's soul to tear.

Anyone can destroy creatures.  It takes a true master of grief to want to destroy the entirety of both player's mana sources.  Are you about to lose with ten minutes left on the game clock?  Fire off one of these and force the game into a tie.  Your opponent will be so aggravated at the near-win that he'll barely be able to concentrate on the tie-breaking final game.  This card is especially effective in long-form multiplayer formats such as EDH.  Twenty turns and 1.5 hours of whiddling down your opponent to 10 life or so and Ka-Boom!  We're starting this one over, Chikoritas!  Your opponents will be so miserable that they'll barely want to play Magic the Gathering ever again let alone finish this abomination of a game.

Do you have friends?  Do you enjoy playing card games with said friends on Friday evenings, listening to Kanye's latest whilst experimenting with herbal medicines all within the comfort of your own basement?  Well I hope you're willing to find new and better friends because once you drop this little gem onto the battlefield you're going to need them.  Not only does this slow the game down exponentially, it can be deployed on turn two!  So your enemies had better be playing some enchantment removal spells or they're going to be in for a long, boring amalgamation of blue trickery because this is what you'll be centering your entire deck around!  Whilst they had the gall to assume they were going to get an "untap step" when then made their decks, you will be ruling the day!  Of course, your friends will look at you as though you'd just slept with all of their little sisters at the same time but it will all be worth it when on turn 47 when you finally Serra Sphinx all of them into submission.

Green and red wizards are frustrated individuals by their very nature.  They lack the cognitive capacity to understand what's truly going on around them and thus, end up channeling that frustration in the form of impulsive behavior, brash decision making and loud, smelly bodily functions.  But nothing seems to dishearten the furry beasts more than a nice, clean counter.  And Force of Will just so happens to be the most powerful of all.  Imagine a green wizard who has somehow managed to hold back on casting his Primeval Titan for several turns, patiently waiting for you to tap out and/or run out of counters.  Finally, he sees that you've tapped out and plays the creature spell.  Unfortunately for him, he is going to be doing nothing again this turn because FoW costs only one life and a discarded blue card to cast.  Sorry big daddy... you're going to have to wait until next game to play a spell.  Another mindless animal kept safely in the zoo where he belongs.

Johnnies..  They're all the same.  They put a bunch of horrible cards into their little combo decks, assuming nothing bad is going to happen and that everything is going to fall into place for them every single game and then end up enraged when it doesn't.   Fools.  You want to "express yourself through your cards"  by playing with your pathetic 'rogue' deck builds?  There's a reason why no on else is playing that sad little deck you're toting.  Such arrogance to think that the hive mind hasn't already thought of the best decks in the game!  Not that we need any card in particular to beat a Johnny but try this one on for size:  First you'll discard a couple of cards at random from your hand via Hymn to Tourach or my turn one Hypnotic Specter.  And then, for one black mana I'll rid your deck of any semblance of that card thus making your deck completely useless.  What could be more frustrating?  I hope your Open the Vaults deck works just as well without Open the Vaults.  That Etherium Sculptor isn't quite as scary all by his lonesome.

These aren't the only great griefer cards in the game.  Which ones infuriate you the most?  Let us know in the comments section below!  Happy griefing!