Hey-o! No time for nonsense talk this week; I wanna get right into the matches because I played the U/B Zombie deck from this great article (the version that made Top 8 at the GP), which I highly recommend.

Round 1 – Kevin Zuk

Kevin’s newer to the game; he’s playing a budget Naya Pod deck with only three Birthing Pods, one Blade Splicer, and zero Huntmaster of the Fells. I meant to write about this last week, but after playing the deck, I decided that while it never really came up in the matches I played, I still hated the fact that the deck’s 3-drop was just a 1/1 in the form of Blade Splicer. Fetching that and having to sit on it for a turn always felt very risky to me—like I was always going, “Well, if my opponent has literally anything, I’m gonna lose. Like I said, that never came up in my matches, but it was something I was always cognizant of.

That said, I’m really not sure what I would run in its place. Kevin had the cute idea of Roc Egg, a card that was pretty well-positioned in this particular matchup.

In Game 1, I get the sweet curve of Gravecrawler, Mortarpod, Geralf's Messenger, Geralf's Messenger. I will soon write another chapter in the story of “I Can’t Evaluate Cards Worth Dick” when Geralf's Messenger ends up being the best card in my deck . . . far and away. I didn’t realize why people freaked out over this card during prerelease season . . . and then I played with it. I thought for sure that the two premier undying cards, Geralf's Messenger and Strangleroot Geist, were fair cards, and I couldn’t have been more wrong—especially where Geralf's Messenger is concerned. If you’ll allow me to just “Erwin” here for a minute, I really think ya’ll should pick these bad boys up because they are sa-weet. Seriously, the card is awesome, and thank Christ it’s not mythic—or else it’d be a bajillion dollars.

As well as constructing a graph showing which sets have been used the most and the least, I think a graph to represent “If I have a card from a particular expansion, what color is it most likely to be?” (For example, Worldwake would be land, New Phyrexia would be black, and so on.) would be interesting to examine, if only because I’ve really only played competitive decks that have done well in larger tournaments as opposed to a bunch of homebrews, so the data would actually be indicative of what each set really focused on. Or maybe that’s just my opinion that it’s interesting—I only bring it up because I have a good feeling that the cards used from Dark Ascension will most likely be black, thanks primarily to Geralf's Messenger and Gravecrawler. Be sure to speak up in the forums if those charts are something you’d like to see or if you have any other ideas for charts and shit. I love mundane data!

Game 2 really pissed me off and actually got me a little steamed.

Kevin kicks things off with a Birds of Paradise, and I respond in kind with a Gravecrawler. Kevin just makes his second land drop and passes the turn over to me.

On my turn, I cast Distress. His hand:

I’m obviously taking the Birthing Pod here, but I have to consider where I’m at. My cards are:

He gets to play Solemn Simulacrum next turn no matter what, so that sucks. On the bright side, he has a stone blank in his hand (Sheoldred, Whispering One) and not much else in the way of action, so I’m pretty sure I can just ride Phyrexian Obliterator to the promised land this game—so long as he blows his sole Oblivion Ring on my Geralf's Messenger, which he should probably just do anyway.

I take the Birthing Pod and pass the turn back to him.

Kevin draws and plays Forest, Avacyn's Pilgrim.

Huh.

I rip Mortarpod on my turn, attack, and kill both of his creatures with Tragic Slip and a Germ token.

I then watch as Kevin confidently draws a card off his deck, plops it onto the table (it’s a Sunpetal Grove), and casts the Solemn Simulacrum that should’ve been stranded in his hand for five lifetimes, if only there was any justice in the world.

My draw step yields nothing interesting, and I attack into his Solemn Simulacrum, play my fourth land, and cast Geralf's Messenger—in hopes to bait the Oblivion Ring—and the Gravecrawler that had just died, ‘cause I likes value.

On his turn, Kevin plays land, Oblivion Ring on Geralf's Messenger. His hand is now Sheoldred, Whispering One and a mystery card. I follow that up with land number five into Phyrexian Obliterator, and I can finally exhale . . . until Kevin plucks the card off of his library and places it into play:

JON: Sees that it’s an Avacyn's Pilgrim “HOOO boy. I thought you–”

KEVIN: Wordlessly taps three more lands and casts an Oblivion Ring , targeting Phyrexian Obliterator.

JON: “ . . . had it.”

But next turn was my turn for shenanigans—I pluck a Sword of Feast and Famine off the top and hit with it, getting his Sheoldred, Whispering One out of his hand. He has no hand, an Avacyn's Pilgrim, and a bunch of lands. I play a Diregraf Captain and suit it up.

JON: “I hope you draw something good.”

KEVIN: Plucks Wurmcoil Engine off the top and casually casts it.

JON: “ . . . ”

A lots more action from him and a lot more bricks from me later, and we’re onto Game 3. Between games . . .

KEVIN: “Those odds were actually worse for me than you thought, I bet. I only have two of those in the deck.”

JON: “lkjhabdflksdjbglgkjndfsgkldfjngldflkgdnsgslkdbgflkjbdfljkv “

And then I drew two Geralf's Messengers Game 3, and two was plenty.

1–0

Round 2 – Adam Trumble

Adam’s a really nice guy. Our match, however, was uninteresting. He was playing mono-white Humans.

In the first game, I just have Sword of War and Peace, and after a mulligan to six on the play, he’s a little stunted on land. I start off sitting back on Tragic Slip (awesome card, ya’ll) instead of running out guys because he starts on a Champion of the Parish, and I surmise that I’d really like to kill that guy before he becomes huge, even if it comes at the cost of not being able to run out a first-turn Gravecrawler. Like I said, none of this mattered; I have a Sword of War and Peace, and he never makes his third land drop.

My curve in Game 2 is turn-one Diregraf Ghoul, turn-three Diregraf Captain, which he Oblivion Rings. I then play a Phyrexian Obliterator, and he Dismembers it, after which the game slows down quite a bit. He hits a Geist of Saint Traft, and I trump it with one of the presumed worst cards in the deck: Skirsdag High Priest. I don’t really hate Skirsdag High Priest as much as everyone else seems to; if your opponent is particularly answer-light, he definitely gives you a new angle to attack from that sets it apart from the rest of the deck. On the next turn, I make a Demon token and clone it with the Phantasmal Image I’ve been sandbagging the entire time, and that’s enough for the entire ballgame.

The match takes about seven minutes total, which is nice for both of us.

2–0

Round 3 – Nick Stogsdill

This match ends up going quickly as well, as luck would have it. Stogs is playing W/U Delver.

Game 1, he keeps a two-lander on the draw—with one of the lands being Moorland Haunt—on the basis that it had a Gitaxian Probe in it. He even finds a second Gitaxian Probe with his first Gitaxian Probe, but he can’t find a third land in time and just dies.

Remembering grindy games is the worst. I never remember what happens in Magic games—ever. I always have to either write down a summary or record my own stupid voice somehow. In hindsight, it was probably dumb of me to sign up for this gig, but, hey, gotta get The Corpora Brand out there somehow, right?

So, yeah, Game 2 was one of those grindy games. I got him down to 4, but my board was just a Diregraf Captain and a Mortarpod while his was a metric ton of creatures, so on the last turn I had to live, I ripped Geralf's Messenger. This guy Geralf, he must be pretty good, right? Right? Anyone? Is this mic on?

3–0

Round 4 – Bret Weed

Bret Weed is the man, and he is also on U/B Zombies, but with some minor modifications. After our match, I asked him to help me recap the games, and you can listen to that recap here.

The only thing missing from that recording is how exactly I got blown out by Mana Leak. Here’s what happened: In that recording, you’ll notice us talking about “playing the Gravecrawler game,” which is basically us keeping each other off Zombies so our Gravecrawlers can’t come back. The mirror matchup actually has a lot of play to it, and even though I was swept in the match, it was a lot of fun to play for me.

Back to the Mana Leak play. I reach a point in the first game where I’m stuck on three lands for a while with a Phyrexian Obliterator in my grip, a Mortarpod in play, and a Gravecrawler in my bin. This means all the cards in my deck are live except for maybe Darkslick Shores. So, I rip a Gravecrawler and cast it, and then go to cast the Gravecrawler from my graveyard.

BRET: “Wait, I have a response.”

JON: Assuming he just has removal, “I’m not passing priority.”

BRET: “Oh, wow. Well, I guess this Mana Leak is just garbage, then.”

EVERYONE: Uproarious laughter

Yeah, I didn’t see that Mana Leak coming. That was a good one.

3–1

Round 5 – Peter Assimon

His name might be Peter Assimon in the DCI reporter, but I know the lead singer for System of a Down when I see him, and I definitely played against the lead singer of System of a Down last Friday night, and I gotta say, it was pretty cool of him to come to Syracuse and play some Magic.

He’s playing W/U Delver, and Game 1, we both mull to six, and scant minutes later, acknowledge that he just nut-drew me: On the play, he plays a turn-one Delver of Secrets, swings with Insectile Aberration and casts Invisible Stalker on turn two, turn-three Geist of Saint Traft, and turn-four Runechanter's Pike, which wasn’t for zero since he also had two Gitaxian Probes.

Game 2 probably feels closer than it actually was; he resolves three Timely Reinforcements, but only one of them makes creatures—the other two just act as Nourishes. He can’t follow them up with anything relevant, so I just win with 2-power men. Not the prettiest win in the world.

Our third game was the difference between making $5 and making $20, which was awesome for System of a Down guy because he transformed his turn-one Delver of Secrets raw, had a turn-three Geist of Saint Traft, and I was just on the back foot the whole time and could never really get in the game. If W/U Delver as a deck is good at anything, it’s closing the door on opponents very early on with resilient board presence alone.

Final Record: 3–2

"U/B Zombies"

• Creatures (26)
• 2 Fume Spitter
• 2 Phyrexian Obliterator
• 2 Skirsdag High Priest
• 4 Diregraf Captain
• 4 Diregraf Ghoul
• 4 Geralf's Messenger
• 4 Gravecrawler
• 4 Phantasmal Image

• Spells (12)
• 3 Geth's Verdict
• 3 Tragic Slip
• 2 Sword of Feast and Famine
• 4 Mortarpod

• Lands (22)
• 14 Swamp
• 4 Darkslick Shores
• 4 Drowned Catacomb

• Sideboard (15)
• 1 Swamp
• 2 Phyrexian Obliterator
• 3 Distress
• 2 Sword of War and Peace
• 1 Cemetery Reaper
• 3 Corrosive Gale
• 2 Nihil Spellbomb
• 1 Phyrexian Metamorph

Buy This Deck

Do I wish I had another crack at this deck?

. . . Does Jesse Mason "go" in the woods? (Yes, he does.) Of course I’d play this deck again. It’s really, really good, and I’m the most comfortable attacking with creatures, I think. I’d probably try to fit some Phyrexian Metamorphs into the deck if there’s enough Equipment floating around the meta; I loooove me some sword clonin’. Tribute to Hunger could be a fine add as well if you’re worried enough about Dungrove Elders, and I feel that with all the undying guys and Unburial Rites around, there’s probably no shame in running the full four Surgical Extractions. Mana Leak’s probably sweet, too, but I’m not sure how I’d squeeze that in yet.

Fume Spitter was pretty underwhelming.

I drew Phantasmal Image in one (1) match. Clearly, something was up with the shuffler.

See you next week!

Jon Corpora

Pronounced Ca-pora

@feb31st