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Round 5 – Robin Janik

Robin and I are both X–1. We’re playing for Top 8, which means we’re playing for six whole dollars. The heat is on.

Sulfur Falls
I’ve known Robin for a while now. He plays lots of burn in Legacy, and so he’s trying to get into Standard with a U/R Delver brew I helped him build the Wednesday before U/R Delver took down Grand Prix Minneapolis.

If I had to guess what Robin’s style of play is, I’d say it’s “impatient;” his favorite cards are Price of Progress and Vexing Devil, the latter of which he runs in both Standard and Legacy. He favors cards that offer instant gratification in the form of reach as opposed to cards that force you to set up a board and grind different positions until you’re sitting favorably. This is worth mentioning because he’s so funny and warm and kind that you’d never guess he’d be into such aggressive strategies.

When I was really young, I always wanted to believe that the types of decks we play are extensions of the types of people we are. I’ve been finding that specific kind of idealism about the game to be less and less true, especially in the post-Caw-Blade era, in which guys who most likely lacked a fundamental understanding of the game outside of that particularly shitty iteration of Standard were able to have an unrealistic level of consistency at premier-level events simply because they shamelessly ground the bar-none best deck in the room into the dirt.

Squadron Hawk
I could write about Caw-Blade forever (and will probably continue to do so years from now), but the short version of the story is that the deck crushed the innocence of anyone paying attention, showing those people incontrovertible evidence that playing the best deck is the way to go and that doing anything else is just a roundabout way of giving money straight to the people who see Magic as less of an outlet of self-expression and more as just another joyless occupation, albeit one with very poor health benefits.

That period of time was a bummer. Which is not to say that there aren’t players now who don’t give me hope; the latest edition of Nathan Holt’s Walk the Planes series showcases the different teams from Pro Tour Avacyn Restored, and from hearing luminaries such as Luis Scott-Vargas, Jon Finkel, and Patrick Chapin talk, it’s not too difficult to tell that they don’t see Magic as a joyless thing at all, but as an awesome phenomenon that they actually feel loyalty toward.

It’s this humility and loyalty in regard to the game that keeps it from being joyless, and it’s the recognition that Magic has opened up so many avenues in their lives—in so many lives—that it keeps them from seeing Magic as a cash piñata that you unexcitedly whack with the best deck over and over until some money falls out.

Arcbound Ravager
This may seem largely irrelevant to you, but I played Magic in the early 2000’s, during the poker boom and Ravager Affinity. Players quit in droves—the money in poker openly dwarfed Magic’s purses, and by that point, having the other guy hit his one-outer ace of spades on the river felt so much like watching your opponent hit running Arcbound Ravagers that it just made sense to play the same game for more money.

Those who did stick with Magic helplessly played Ravager Affinity (it made no sense to play anything else) until Wizards banned it to hell. Coming up in that time and seeing so many players cynical about the game didn’t quite click as something that was unusual or even bad—I was too young—but comparing the American pros of that era to the ones now make me feel very confident about Magic in general and where it’s headed. Although I do love me some Gadiel Szleifer articles. He is the same age as I am, and he tore up the Pro Tour while he was picking up his learner’s permit—just like me.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the game’s in good hands. But I digress.

I went to FNM for the fortieth time last Friday, where I played this Brad Nelson brew:

Who would’ve ever guessed that Snapcaster Mage with Unsummon would be such a dominating combination? It’ll be interesting to see whether they bring Unsummon back for Magic 2013, that’s for sure.

Speaking of Magic 2013, I can’t help but be worried about what Standard’s gonna look like without Mana Leak. I guess there’s not a whole lot of Mana Leak now, with the threat of Cavern of Souls and all, but I can’t help but be a little anxious. It’s in times like these when I take a deep breath and remind myself that I don’t know shit.

Round 1 – Al French

We have a weekly Wednesday-night Standard event at Cloud City, and before it started, we played some practice games for fun. Al, or as I like to call him, Al-Jazeera, generally plays burn decks; right now, his deck of choice is Zombies with Blood Artists and Killing Wave. On Wednesday, however, he was playing Brad Nelson’s list from Grand Prix: Minneapolis, while I played the U/R Delver deck that took down the entire Grand Prix.

Al smashed me in every game, to the point that I was totally frustrated until the tournament proper, whereupon we were paired in the first round, and I won by the skin of my teeth with multiple Bonfire of the Damned off the tizzy. Magic!

Fast forward to that Friday night. I lose the die roll, and after he plays a turn-one Island, I Gitaxian Probe him on the draw. Here’s the hand I see:

Wurmcoil Engine
Drowned Catacomb
Drowned Catacomb
Grand Architect
Grand Architect
Darkslick Shores

So from what I can tell, it’s essentially a mirror match. I suspect some Doom Blade shenanigans, but that’s about it as far as differences go.

Since I have a Vapor Snag in hand, I realize that I can sort of switch the results of the die roll by bouncing his turn-three Grand Architect, playing my own Grand Architect on my turn, and then keeping his stuff tapped down with cloned Dungeon Geists long enough to force through a Wurmcoil Engine.

Al draws a bunch of clones, but he opts to clone his Wurmcoil Engines instead of my Dungeon Geists, and I just out-clone him and get him in the air with, like, four Dungeon Geists.

This is how I sideboard:

+3 Dungeon Geists

+1 Dismember

+1 Tamiyo, the Moon Sage

+1 Surgical Extraction

−4 Ponder

−1 Snapcaster Mage

−1 Grand Architect

I do not think that is correct, but the decklist is so tight that I never have any idea what to board out.

Dungeon Geists
Sideboarding with control decks is, on average, the easiest type of deck (the three types being control, aggro, and combo) to sideboard with. After Game 1, you will invariably have maindeck answers that don’t apply to the match you’re playing, so you can substitute them for the correct answer.

With aggressive strategies, you run the risk of diluting your strategy whenever you sideboard. Your sideboard cards can’t just be good in a vacuum; they have to hose your opponent while aiding your strategy. A fair part of makes the W/U Delver deck so obnoxious is that since the deck sees so many cards—and also because of Snapcaster Mage—Delver players don’t have to dilute their strategy; they only need to bring in two of each spell. The card quality plus the inherent redundancy that Snapcaster Mage offers allows you to sort of bend the rules when it comes to sideboarding.

So yeah, I don’t think I boarded right. Those Dungeon Geists seemed so good, though!

In Game 2, we both mull to six, and then Al Freedom (get it? Like freedom fries?) mulls to five, complains about mulliganing to oblivion, and then casts a turn-five Jace, Memory Adept that he kills me with.

Phyrexian Metamorph
Mastering the art of mulliganing with a deck that has eight cantrips and eight clones is tough. The mirror match especially is just a very bizarre world in which both players’ hands are totally reactive and both players are just waiting for someone to drop a guy so The Clone Wars can begin.

I definitely didn’t mulligan correctly in that second game; I just kept a bunch of reactive stuff and got rocked because I couldn’t interact with a Jace, Memory Adept. Al seemed to think that taking the draw in the mirror match was right just because both players end up staring at each other to see who will blink first—the one who does always seemed to lose. Then again, if your opponent has some crazy Grand Architect–fueled draw on the play, you can just get blown out of a game super-fast.

In our third game, we both mulligan to six, and Al Ponders four times (aided by Snapcaster Mage) while I peel Islands on Islands. After his hand stops sucking, Al does the first-blinking and casts a Grand Architect, which I respond to with Dungeon Geists. After that, it’s a complete blowout: Clones come down for days, tapping down the Dungeon Geists I make in vain to try to keep up, and they’re eventually followed up by Wurmcoil Engines. I do not draw out of that one.

0–1

Round 2 – Michael Phelps

Michael Phelps is the George Michael (Arrested Development; not the singer-songwriter) of Cloud City. He is playing an Angels deck. In order to better convey the enigma that is Michael Phelps, here’s a conversation I’ve seen Michael Phelps engage in with every single regular:

Seraph Sanctuary
Michael Phelps: “Would you mind looking at my deck and making suggestions?”

Random Person: [looking through deck] “I think you should cut Seraph Sanctuary and put in–“

Michael Phelps: “NO. I AM NOT CUTTING SERAPH SANCTUARY.”

Michael Phelps starts off our match pretty salty because I make him play on an actual table and not Cloud City’s couches and coffee table, which despite sounding nice, are actually murder to play at, and I’d rather stick my dick in a blender than play a whole match of Magic at one foot above ground level. He works through his passive-aggressive anger by slowly separating my deck into six piles every single time I offer him my deck to cut.

All I remember about the matches themselves is that he goes up to 30 both games, which never ends up mattering because I tap down all his creatures and kill him with a handful of Wurmcoil Engines.

1–1

For those of you who came here for an in-depth analysis of the Angels versus Grand Architect matchup, just know that from the bottom of my heart, I am truly, truly sorry.

Round 3 – Ryan Sullivan

The both of us see this pairing as a win just because we’re playing each other and not some rando who actually cares about things like “procedure” and “language.”

I Gitaxian Probe him turn one on the play and see this:

Mountain
Batterskull
Snapcaster Mage

Mana Leak
Dragonskull Summit
Wurmcoil Engine
Faithless Looting

I’m able to surmise pretty quickly that he’s on some sort of Grixisy control deck, and I wait until he’s tapped out to cast my Grand Architect. From there, I’m able to Vapor Snag all his big threats and just get him with my own big guys after he taps out for whatever he plays.

Game 2’s a little strange; I curve out with Spellskite, Grand Architect, Grand Architect, and I just end up smashing him with a lot of lords when the ideal hand for the deck never materializes.

2–1

It’s at this point in the night when I see my first-round opponent, Al French Toast, walk out the door; apparently, he lost his next two rounds.

Round 4 – Dustin Mouck

This is Dustin’s first FNM at Cloud City, and for the first two rounds, he was the buzz of the twenty-three-person tournament. Here were his first two matches:

Honey Badger: 2–0 W

Frites: 2–0 W

Fog
Dustin’s deck of choice? Bant Turbofog.

I was pretty excited to get down to our match—I love wacky decks like TurboFog, and in an event like an FNM (and sometimes even a PTQ), I have no problem rooting for my opponent if he’s playing something interesting. I think Dustin was a bit taken aback by this.

In a third consecutive uninteresting match for me, Dustin’s deck decides to lie down on its side while I run it over with four lords Game 1 and a Jace, Memory Adept Game 2. He never resolves a single Fog effect throughout the match.

3–1

At this point, Michael Phelps comes up to me, all animosity forgotten, and lets me know he’s gone 2–0 since his 0–2 start. I remind him there’s still a chance he can cash with a win, and we wish each other good luck.

Round 5 – Robin Janik

Our match!

Game 1, I can’t make my sixth land drop for a bunch of turns in a row, but my Spellskite holds the ground against his Stromkirk Noble while Vapor Snag, Snapcaster Mage targeting Vapor Snag takes care of Insectile Aberrations.

Because I can’t find a sixth land or any Grand Architects, I’m unable to close the door on Robin with a Wurmcoil Engine, and I am forced to rely on his pair of Delver of Secrets not transforming for a lot of turns, which, luckily, they do not; Robin has me dead onboard for three turns in a row, but he bricks on all three of his chances, while I’m finally able to bring out a Wurmcoil Engine. After it hits him once and I get a reasonable cushion back, the writing’s on the wall. INTENSE.

Game 2 is far less swingy, as Robin mulligans into a slow start and then proceeds to draw a lot of lands while I run him over with an army of cloned Dungeon Geists.

4–1, fif place

Thanks for reading!

Jon Corpora

Pronounced Ca-pora

@feb31st

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