Hello everyone! 2024 was a year of some incredibly powerful cards in unique synergies. Some were revolutionary in design, some helped the format grow in new directions. Others were absolute villains and have earned a special place on the naughty list. Today we are calling out these diabolical cards and celebrating the chaos and salt they can bring to a table. I'm Levi from the Thought Vessel Show, and today, we look at the top 13 Cards for the Commander Naughty list for 2024. But before diving into our list, let's give an honorable mention to one card that deserves a special shout-out.

Honorable Mention

This one sneaks in as a cheat. The Naughty List is for cards introduced to Magic in 2024, but Vault Boy earns its place as a skin of one of Commander's saltiest cards, Grand Arbiter Augustin IV. Known for its brutal stax effects, Grand Arbiter has become a taboo figure in casual Commander. Despite this, Wizards reprinted the card as Vault Boy, a beloved Fallout character. The nostalgia bait guarantees Vault Boy will see play - and with it, all the salt Grand Arbiter is infamous for.

Number Thirteen

Tinybones is back for round three, and this version is as annoying as ever. It makes opponents discard their hands, then steals those cards to use against them later. Few things sting more than being beaten down by your own cards. As if that weren't enough, Bauble Burglar can enable itself with its own discard ability. We're used to seeing commanders with this kind of self-synergy in Simic, not Mono-Black.

Number Twelve

Stax pieces are always rude, but High Noon goes above and beyond. Its controller can pay mana to sacrifice it, dealing damage to a target at any time and "breaking the rules" to inflict havoc. From personal experience, when High Noon gets sacrificed, the rest of the table had better brace for impact.

Number Eleven

This card is a Commander nightmare in instant-speed form. Whether it's giving a creature indestructible to survive a board wipe, blanking creatures mid-combat, or wiping the board while protecting its controller's best creature, Final Showdown is pure chaos.

Number Ten

Any commander that thrives on stealing from opponents was bound for this list. Gonti builds its board state by hitting opponents with small, evasive creatures to trigger its abilities. Worse still, when a player dies, Gonti loses all of their stolen cards. Gonti players often keep opponents alive longer just to maximize the chaos.

Number Nine

This card might be a design mistake. It's absurdly easy to get damage onto Screaming Nemesis, triggering its ability to shut down life gain for the rest of the game. Against decks relying on life gain or Food Tokens, this effect is devastating.

Number Eight

The flying spaghetti monster strikes again! This version combines an Insurrection-style effect with absurd resilience. If Emrakul leaves play, all the stolen creatures are exiled. It's Madness ability allows it to hit the board much faster than expected, and its "protection from spells cast this turn" makes it nearly impossible to remove. On a 12/12 body, no less!

Number Seven

When Ulamog is cast, it exiles half of an opponent's library. For decks relying on key synergy pieces, this can spell game over. Once it hits the battlefield, Ulamog gains +1/+1 counters equal to the highest mana value of cards exiled, turning it into a massive threat with Annihilator. Few cards destroy hope quite like Ulamog.

Number Six

Reducing all opposing creatures to 1 toughness warps combat and paves the way for effects like Seeker's Folly to wipe the board. Want something more permanent? Pair Maha with Karavek, the Spiteful for a combo that guarantees your opponents will have a very bad day.

Number Five

A five-color experience-counter commander sounded great - until we got Ulalek. Its ability to give Annihilator 1 to all Eldrazi Spawn and Scion tokens makes it oppressive, especially in precon settings which see newer or lower power preference player that probably are not going to appreciate that level of destruction. For these new players, Ulalek is a brutal introduction to Commander.

Number Four

It takes a special kind of evil to say "I don't want just my battles. I want all of yours as well." This card is brutal. Passing from one player to the next, this card becomes the only creature that truly matters as it is capable of lethal commander damage almost immediately. Not quite a cEDH level deck but not necessarily appropriate for casual tables, this card is an absolute killing machine. It takes a special kind of evil to build this deck, so naturally I have one.

Number Three

Voja marked the turning point in the community's frustration with Ward as a protection mechanic. Combine that with its synergy with the powerhouse tribe of Elves, and you've got a recipe for salt.

Number Two

This can go for all of the Marvel Secret Lair cards, but Storm is seeing the highest mark up of them all as of writing. The sale for the secret lair saw fans wait in virtual lines for 4+ hours and were not able to buy the products they wanted which resulted in scalpers up-charging on the secondary market. This was incredibly disappointing for fans of both Marvel and Magic that just wanted a chance to play with these characters. For the amount of grief this caused players, Storm gets the silver medal. Also the storm mechanic on things that shouldn't have storm to begin with is wild.

Number One

Could it be anything else? Nadu has decimated multiple formats, boasted one of the highest win rates in cEDH tournaments, and was banned in Modern and Commander within the same year of its release. This card's oppressive power and ability to drag games into eternity without clear wins has earned it the top spot for 2024 with extreme prejudice.

Every card here has earned its coal, but there's a silver lining: for some groups, these cards represent pure fun. In my playgroup, we love finding the most devious things we can inflict on each other. There are many ways to enjoy this game, and these cards simply choose the naughty path. Until next time, happy gaming!