I lied.

This isn’t about cosplay.

And this article is a year late. And there are no prizes. Yes, right around Halloween time last year is when I fell off the grid and into the maw of my son and that bane of our existences known as “real life.” I wanted to have a grand costume contest on Gathering Magic and get everybody all dorkified and dressed up . . . and instead, I just disappeared.

Art by Aleksi Briclot

If you have no empathy for my story, you do not know the power of a toddler. And that’s okay because my job is to entertain you. My apologies to those of you from 2011 whom I let down.

Art by Jason Chan

In the last Planeswalker’s Guide to Cosplay article, Sonja, a lovely student of Egyptology and experienced costume-maker, pointed out my misuse of the term “cosplay.”

Sonja, aka @rudjedet, as Fires of Undeath chick

To clarify, what I’m discussing is costuming—not cosplay. I like to make things that evoke the true feeling of a character while not necessarily getting every detail technically correct. If you’re into this cosplay thing in general, check out Christine Sprankle’s offerings by following her @csprankle on Twitter and checking out her work here. Christine did the outrageous Elspeth cosplay that I featured in my last article, and she’s earned a big fan base.

Elspeth and that Kibler guy at Worlds

I’m thirty-two and a mom. I work full time and have a two-and-a-half-year-old son on my hands when I’m not working. If I can do an MTG costume, SO CAN YOU. Yes, I’m yelling.

I put up a blog post about costuming a couple weeks ago describing my frustration at not having the time and resources to really go balls-out in creating something nice. I asked for support. I asked for advice. The wonderful folks out there told me it was okay to just be Azusa and not to be too hard on myself.

That was great input. Too bad I never follow reasonable counsel.

Courtesy cardkitty alters

Let’s start here.

In case you don’t know, Joann Fabrics is like the Wal-Mart for sewer/crafter fascists. It’s a veritable compound of cloth, silk flowers, and ladies with white hair in coifs more formidable than a Boros legion. It is also immortalized in this Family Guy scene:

The big problem with the Azusa idea—though she’s a popular commander and “hot” as the dear Bennie Smith put it—is that I am not a green mage. Despite the fact that I already have the long, dark hair and I could just buy a $10 bed sheet, wrap it around my bod, put on my best Wonderbra, and make a headdress out of cardboard and call it done, my Vorthos soul was writhing in protest at the idea because I never play green. For me, the importance of representing my color affiliation is as important as making an accurate and believable costume. Maybe that’s a bit Spike–Vorthos; I’m not sure. It could just be seriously nerdy. In any case, Azusa wasn’t happening, and the hubby could see it on my face.

Art by Todd Lockwood

MJ: (leading question) “So . . . do you think I should just do the Azusa thing for Halloween . . . ?”

Hackworth: “Well, sure, if it’s easy for you, that’s a fine choice.”

MJ:  . . .

Hackworth: “What?”

MJ: “ . . . Well, I just—oh, look at all the butterfly wings!”

We’d wandered into the clearance aisle at Joann Fabrics under the pretense of looking for stuff for my son’s dragon costume. Here’s the schwag we found:

Big sword can be used for Akroma or Demon in some later year

Neutral old-guy mask for Issar Roon (heyyyy Brendan Weiskotten!) or Gaddock Teeg costumes

You don’t even want to know (but look for a related moxymtg.com blog post during Rakdos Week, Dec 12–Dec 14)

And speaking of #Rakdos . . . This guy showed up in aisle five for his Red/Black-Light Special (who are these freaks?!)

And . . .

There were all of these variations on colorful, beautiful wings. And they were cheap. 40% off. Pretty wings of course made me think . . . Faeries.

I had even mentioned Vendilion Clique in my last article. But which Faerie to be? The most notorious one, of course:

MJ: “So, do you think I should do Azusa or Thoughtseize?”

Hackworth: (deliberating) “ . . . Do Thoughtseize. If you’re going to go for it—it’s more you.”

So, we bought wings. And white body paint. And zebra-print tights. And a wig. Glittery mask, black lipstick . . . All on sale, mind you. And some of this is for the man. Yes, Hackworth was convinced to do coordinated costumes. Don’t worry; pics forthcoming! I know you’re all anxious to see him in spandex and to find out who he decided to be.

I took the wings and altered them using black acrylic paint—pretty easy, just following the flow of lines in a natural way that references the card art. The critical thing here is to look tribal, otherworldly, and a bit undone (messy). A lot of costumes look wrong because they don’t represent the wear and tear that would actually happen, and often, the weight and tension of elements is off. Many great cosplays depict individual components perfectly, but as a whole, the outfit will look very inorganic (and therefore kiddish) because correct weight, tension, and wear haven’t been articulated. Also, hair is oftentimes too perfect, too wiggy. To look convincing, hair should blend organically to your head and should be proportioned to what is correct for your face/build.

The wig had a strange hairline that had to be changed. I also frayed the zebra stockings a bit so they’d look less Ru Paul’s Drag U (a great show, but not the look I’m going for—the ladies are so put-together) and more organic, naughty, even post-apocalyptic-hooker-faerie. Thoughtseize has seen battles. She does not have a catalog-perfect look.

I had the boots in my wardrobe already. And I had a couple dresses that could be sacrificed for the cause. Thoughtseize faerie looks like she’s wearing steel breastplate, but I didn’t want to go out trick-or-treating with kitchenware on my lady lumps, so I ignored that detail. I’ll have to find some heavier material to layer over the skirt and more long tethers to attach to the bodice (important because they give a lot of movement to the ensemble, and movement will pump the wild, fey aura).

Keep in mind this is a tutorial on time-budgeted, balanced costuming for busy, stressed-out folks (read: NO SEWING—it’s all scissors, Velcro, and safety pins!). So it’s not as budget as it could be if I had more time, and it’s not going to be as epic as if I had more money as well as more time. When I was finished writing this, I was fed up. But it was hella fun.

Time investment to date: 1 hour shopping, 2 hours painting/slicing-dicing = 3 hours total

Financial investment: under $100 for both of our adult costumes (albeit leveraging items already owned)

And yeah, bad parents, so the kiddo just gets a generic dragon suit. But he doesn’t care, and he’s going to rip the headpiece off after one block of trick-or-treating, anyway. He runs hot like a red mage.

Keep your eyes out for Part 3, when I’ll go through the devilish details and finishing touches, and we look at the final results and hopefully take some great pictures for posterity. And yeah, if you do an MTG costume this year, please send me pictures so I can feature them in a future article and personally give you some kind of prize. That’s right: I lied in my opener. Prizes have flashed back into this game.

Till next time, may Magic be your sword. And may you be fortunate enough to find that place in the world where you can truly be yourself.

– MJ

@moxymtg on Twitter

http://www.moxymtg.com