Welcome, new readers, and welcome back, folks who wish to gain a more holistic view of Vorthos’s worldview. Today, we’re going to discuss a topic that I was reminded of when I was looking into Magic’s Wikipedia discussion page. I was searching for future Vorthos article topics and came across a section called Artist Outcry.

There was a major outcry when the 7th Edition base was released due to art’s being recommissioned—new art, if you will. Many players felt it was sudden change to the iconic, branded pieces of the game they had grown accustomed to and, dare I say, appreciated.

Oh, the humanity! Heaven forbid that new artists obtain work!

This created a major hullabaloo, which you can research, but in the course of Magic’s history, it’s simply a footnote among the multitudes of other outcries that caused 90% of the player base to quit. (They always come back, though—funny, that.) Why this matters is that a major player in this hatedom was Vorthos. This wasn’t our Salem Witch Trials in terms of lunacy, but it was pretty naïve.

Vorthos forgot that appreciation of the game is what enriches him, not hating on change. His nemesis is actually the hater crowd. (No, it’s not Melvin. Melvin is more of a weird cousin you have to hang out with once in a while. Melvin is also the polar opposite of Vorthos, not a foe.) Vorthos is about appreciation, not a motivation to win.

Still with me? Good.

As all Vorthoses are actually part of other psychographics, or more; there are hybrid situations, as humans don’t fit into nice little boxes for clarification.

The Hatedom

I’m not sure who threw the first rock, but this game that we enjoy—nay, appreciate—is built upon a love/hate relationship. Not all Vorthoses are appreciative; some are downright angry. A Spike/Vorthos dominates others with knowledge, but when his arsenal is disrupted by, say, Time Spiral, he gets quite angry.

I don’t like to give column space and clearly won’t cite examples, but we all know. If you don’t know, consider yourself lucky.

Player Hating

. . . Not on each other. Heaven forbid we have a beef between players. Even Lil’ Bow Wow (Bow Wow?) has one. The current state of high-level competitive Magic has become so stale with friendliness that sides are barely distinguishable. Ochoa has become a player cliché on a one-man quest to rid the world of evil . . . that doesn’t exist.

Perhaps the hivemind has nullified not only the line in the sand but also the sand itself. A major deck arises with such confidence from rigorous testing and copying that minor decks that attempt to combat it disappear. Upon release of each set, the first question is, “What will be the next Jund? Fae? Caw-Blade?” Marx is dead here. Is it simply Eurasia or Eastasia? We will simply unite against a stale metagame with a singular deck for a new metagame. It’s simply easier to fine-tune a deck than to hate it out.

That’s why I miss Cedric’s smiling face.

I miss him hating on the metagame because he loved him some small dudes. White Weenie archetype? Sign him up. Come back, Cedric; we miss you. Wizards even gave you a card!

You hate playing Commander with x, y, or z, and especially hate Sharazard.

I find house rules against certain cards that aren’t on official lists to be lazy. Appreciate all that we have, because it is only temporary and can go away so quickly. Mind’s Eye isn’t banned yet, and neither is Sensei’s Divining Top. We take them for granted now. Please love them like a treasured teddy bear.

My local storeowner commented on Shahrazad best with this shot across the bow: “I hate playing more Magic.” Indeed, Angelo, indeed.

You hate-draft better picks instead of smoothing your curve.

It’s painful to watch a Ruel draft on SCG: “I’ll pick the rare because I see nothing else.” Economics are a very real part of Magic’s being an inherently collectible game, but in a situation where you pay $10 versus $14 and you are forced to play better to get your rares for $4 less, I find it lazy. Granted, I can’t blame my friend Matt Stamness, who stood up at a super-sealed side event at Grand Prix: Kansas City for opening a Jace, the Mind Sculptor. He got his karma when the card was banned and he didn’t sell it right away. “I’ll take the chance.” Smart. Move.

Hatred of Change

I felt a semblance of hatred some time ago. When foils were first printed, I thought they’d spike the costs of decks, and a younger version of myself was pretty fired up. Mind you, this was Urza block and my playgroup largely didn’t even see them. I ignored the feelings and moved on. I’m utterly astonished at reading online forums (yes, people still write there), hearing people yell, aghast at every change Wizards even attempts to the game.

Remember these? (Among others . . .)

• foils
• 6th Edition rules changes
• hybrid mana
• M10 rules changes: mana-burn, card state changes, mulligans, combat damage loses the stack, Deathtouch, Lifelink, token ownership
• mythic rarity
• Phyrexian mana
• Grand Prix changes
• eliminating regional prereleases
• bannings, since ever

Not a single one killed the game. If anything, they increased attendance . . .

You hate when you have become comfortable drafting.

Good job; you’ve identified the best strategies and archetypes and won your local $10 draft. Good. For. You. Do you really want to do that for another six months? Maybe. But I’d rather be challenged.

You hate drafting base sets.

Sigh. Is familiar boring? Drafting base sets is usually drafting bombs and then fix, fix, fix. Wizards knows your concerns, and they’re always working on it. As the popular saying goes, if you don’t like it or get it, it’s probably not made for you.

You hate mythics.

I love mythics. They made $10 drafts exciting and lowered the costs of decks. How fun were drafts during Worldwake? It was a lottery! You didn’t think that drafts would turn into that, and I appreciate how they threw us a curveball. Enjoy playing, get some stuff, and possibly open a Mox in Zendikar or a Big Jace.

Seriously, though, mythics have allowed Wizards to control pricing of decks better. Jace, the Mind Sculptor was an anomaly, and we all know it. I hope it doesn’t make them gun-shy about creating super-bombs in the future. Maybe once every four years? That seems kosher. Few pros can stay on the top tables for five years straight in this new normal. Even Kai struggles with not only playing all the tournaments but also dominating like he did in the 1990s.

Hatred of the Marginal

Not really a jank rare.

Vorthos appreciates the elements behind the game. In addition, he really loves high-quality areas outside the game. I fit the persona in that I appreciate nearly everything in Magic and respect everything, but my art background can tie me to being irked at marginal alterations. eBay should just yank them, because they make artists cry. If you’re going to alter cards, they better be churched-up, or haters will indeed hate.

You’re probably all wondering: What does Wizards think of altered cards?

You hate Magic’s storyline.

I thought about this for a while, and I figure the audience on GM knows that a storyline exists.

Do you hate the entire concept of a story behind the game? You do realize it’s necessary, right? This is the game without Vorthos:

Magic without Vorthos.

Without a storyline, or better explained, without a creative department:

Garfield did the best he could with his resources. Strong foundation = sustainable game.

You hate the continuity problems.

I’ll tread lightly here.

To clarify the issue, the retcons and the neowalkers affect a very small proportion of Magic players. Vorthos is not the largest demographic. I get it. There is some supply/demand involved here. Things that are familiar are trusted, but things that are too similar, in being the exact world, cause distaste. It’s called the uncanny valley. We generate distaste when things are close to similar, but aren’t identical. Sure, it’s a stretch, but Mirrodin 2.0 was distrusted and hated when it was first revealed, but the pitchforks were put back in the shed when players learned that it’s a wholly different world with different mechanics. You probably didn’t like the soul trap fix, but this is a powerful precedent. I’m very appreciative they did this, because Ulgrotha needs some more love and Ravnica is just marinating until we’re ready to return to that world of so many opportunities for stories, flavor, mechanics, and player love. (I’m a Selesnya member, or so I’ve been told.)

You hate the continuity problems in the books.

The Wizards creative team is crazy talented. Maybe that’s why they have incredible loyalty to their departments. (Do you ever seen turnover there? Not much, for a corporate environment.) Perhaps the continuity issues are inherent? No . . . could your hate be misguided?

Look at the list of Magic: The Gathering writers:

• Abbey, Lynn
• Athans, Philip
• Belkom, Edo van
• Beyer, Doug
• Bishop, Jim
• Bolme, Edward
• Braddock, Hanovi
• Byers, Richard Lee
• Castro, Adam-Troy
• Cavotta, Matt
• Coleman, Loren L.
• Dalton-Woodbury, Kathleen
• DeCandido, Keith R. A.
• Delaney, John
• Drake, David
• Dupree, Tom
• Emery, Clayton
• Forstchen, William R.
• Friend, Peter
• Graham, Denise R.
• Grubb, Jeff
• Grubbs, Stonefeather
• Helland, Jenna
• Herndon, Cory J.
• Holliday, Liz
• Honigsberg, David M.
• Horner, Miranda
• Johnson, Kij
• King, J. Robert
• Lassieur, A. L.
• Lebaron, Francis
• Lebow, Jess
• Leupold, Tom
• Levin, Nate
• Lindskold, Jane M.
• Llywelyn, Morgan
• Lyris, Sonia Orin
• Marmell, Ari
• McDermott, Daneen
• McDermott, Will
• McGough, Scott
• McLaren, Teri
• Montgomery, Carla
• Moore, Vance
• Mosiman, Billie Sue
• Ohlander, Ben
• Perrin, Don
• Perry, S. D.
• Pramas, Chris
• Resnick, Laura
• Rogers, Bruce Holland
• Ryan, Michael G.
• Ryan, Tim
• Sanders, Timothy
• Schend, Steven E.
• Scott, Michael
• Shepherd, Mark
• Stackpole, Michael A.
• Stein, Kevin T.
• Stirling, S. M.
• Sullivan, Stephen D.
• Sumner, Mark
• Sumner, M. C.
• Thomsen, Brian M.
• Thomson, Amy
• Thompson, Paul B.
• Troop, Ken
• Tweet, Jonathan
• Vardeman, Robert E.
• Vasey, Glen
• Vick, Edd
• Ward, Cynthia
• Waterman, Laura
• Wilkes, Jennifer Clark
• Williams, Teri

Seventy-five different people. The Bible has fewer writers. Seriously.

The writers are all different. Is it possible for every writer to read every book, flavor text, and supplement, and play extensively before his or her work? Seriously? Okay, John, before you write your Revelation, you need to read the entire Bible. Also, John, you need it done in a few months, with your part included, please. I’m utterly astonished that the creative department does such a great job holding everything together the best they can day in and day out.

It hasn’t burst yet!

I’ve worked at a newspaper, and final edits always cause problems. This is inherent in any publishing medium. Doug Beyer and Jenna Helland could trade off writing, but the work would be crushing. Would the creative end product be as robust? They’re very talented and capable, but they’re human. A variety of voices are simply needed for the work and the diversity. There’s a reason they outsource some of the flavor writing and the books themselves.

Hatred of the Amazing

You hate Jace.

What?! Didn’t I just say you loved him? I did, actually. It’s a love/hate relationship. (Unless you’re Chapin, then it’s love/infatuation.) They never tend to work out well, but they’re fiery and fun while they last. They key is, they never last. But, you get a second chance in just a few weeks. He seems different, but you’ve been hurt, so you throw flames at him upon the mere sight of his form. Unleash your rage upon his new form. I appreciate that he changes, and hope he continues to do so.

You actually hate Jace, not the card, but Jace himself.

Some people hate how Jace looks. He looks too “emo” and perpetuates the introverted, lonely Magic player. I can’t argue with these concerns, but despite your strong disapproval at his visual aesthetic, he used to be everywhere. Seriously, go search for old Grand Prix photos, banner ads, backgrounds, or discussion boards. He was everywhere. Aleksi Briclot hit a home run designing him. Yell as you wish, but a lot of players wear sweatshirts similar to his cloak. So much so that I would wager that if a business-savvy Vorthos were to make high-quality Jace sweatshirts, thousands of bank notes would arrive upon delivery of the venture’s goods. Jace resonates with the player base, and, despite his changes, he will always be popular because he’s in the arguably best color.

You hate good cards.

No matter what year it is, there will always be a best card in the Standard metagame. Whether it’s Bloodbraid Elf, Jace, the Mind Sculptor, Umezawa’s Jitte, or Counterspell, a best card has to exist. None of these cards should be reprinted in the near future, and any planeswalker with four abilities better be marginal from this day forward, but I’m happy they existed. A deathblow has been dealt to Counterspell, and I, as a Vorthos, am appreciative of this. I loved playing it back in the day, but new players hated it. I remember introducing people to it, and it was an awful process. It reminded me of running hurdles in jean shorts and Airwalks against other kids; it was always a sob story. Counterspell affects the casual player base in a way that no other card did until Jace 2.0. It creates a barrier for entry.

You hate losing to Overrun.

It’s been in the last two core sets, and you haven’t learned that if a player drops a Forest, he will likely have an Overrun? I appreciate the Overrun. It’s good for new players, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT BASE SETS ARE FOR. Here’s a strategy for playing against it: Appreciate that you were once that new player and you beat the control player with it, then whip out a counter for it.

Counter. Sleep. Win.

Conclusion

Why does all this matter?

To be frank, the aggressiveness of Magic players is getting out of hand. Wizards had to put a PSA on their Facebook page for inflammatory yelling. Yes, banning cards causes controversy, but life will continue. Relax.

Tell them, Sheldon: Stop yelling.

The emotional response you create is good for the game. Angry players > apathetic players. People who don’t care leave the brand. Apathy is awful for games. Random hating is tertiary and may continue. Ochoa, your beef with seemingly everyone should continue; it’s comical.

But be mindful around the new players. (Please explain to them what happened, why it happened, precedents, and why you’re upset. It helps them join.) Some new players do start from a parent buying them an intro pack and then going online, but the vast majority are drawn into the game by the people before them. How did you start? I thought so: from a friend. First game was where? First deck had what cards? You remember these moments. If your second game was at an FNM and you were “hated out” or were made to feel unwelcome because you didn’t understand why Stoneforge was so strong, you wouldn’t be reading here. Be mindful of your predispositions, thoughts, actions, and even hatreds.

So keep your hatin’, but stop yelling. Be more articulate, and Vorthos, ever skeptical of emotional folks, will listen to your unappreciative concerns.