Locations
Today is one of those strange days, you think, as you watch your opponent go over his turn. You've only just met him today, and he seems like a decent person. You can't help but think that he does most of his gaming online, though.
"I'm sorry," you say, "but what's your name again?"
"jas0n."
"Oh, Jason."
"nah m8, its jas0n."
"Uhh . . .  okay."
Despite his accent, you have to admit that Ja . . .  sorry, jas0n, is playing a nice 
deck. He has multiple defenses on the ground, but his air force is nothing short of spectacular: Even though you quickly grounded his Baneslayer Angel with a Tightening Coils, you've barely been able to hold back his Silver Drake and Emeria Angel.
Speaking of which, your attention snaps back to the board as jas0n turns those creatures sideways. "r3dz0ne my drak3, lil ang3l and bird," he says.
You suspect a trick, but you're not in a position to let his flyers through. Fortunately, you have some defense on hand: "I'll block your Emeria Angel with my Balustrade Spy," you say, "and your Silver Drake with the Leering Gargoyle I reanimated from your graveyard earlier. I'll let the Bird token through."
"lil ang3l g3ts +2/+2?" jas0n asks, revealing an Artful Maneuver from his hand.
You sigh. You read that right, but that doesn't make you feel any better. It occurs to you that you can use your Magical Hacker to shut down the Maneuver's bonus . . .  if you hadn't tapped out last turn. To be honest, between your Frost Lynx-tapped Skirk Ridge Exhumer and the Grapeshot Catapult that still has summoning sickness, you're feeling a bit vulnerable right now.
"I'll tap the Gargoyle for its ability and make it a 0/4," you say. "I take 1 damage from the Bird, but Zulaport Cutthroat triggers and gets me that one life back. You're down to . . .  10 life, I think."
"w00t m8," jas0n says. You drop the Balustrade Spy into your graveyard and set aside the True-Faith Censer that was previously attached to it.
Jas0n taps six mana and plays the last card in his hand: a Jedit's Dragoons to clog the ground further. "14?" he asks.
You sigh again. "Okay, you're at 14 life."
"kewl. tabl3s urs m8."
You untap your permanents -- noting at the same time that jas0n's Frost Lynx isn't pinning down your Skirk Ridge Exhumer any more -- and draw your card for the turn. Unfortunately, it's not something obviously useful for you: you only put a Vampirism in your deck because you were curious about how it played in a draft environment. Now it joins the otherwise-useless Culling the Weak in your hand.
jas0n glances up, expecting you to make a move. You have to admit that, at 6 life, you don't have a lot of wiggle room. But it looks like your opponent may have forgotten that he no longer has any flying blockers. Maybe you have the resources for one last push . . . 
It is the start of your first main phase. Defeat jas0n before the beginning of his next combat phase.
You are at 6 life, with the following cards in play:
- Skirk Ridge Exhumer (with your Aspect of Gorgon attached)
- Zulaport Cutthroat
- Magical Hacker
- Leering Gargoyle (owned by jas0n, currently under your control)
- Grapeshot Catapult
- Flight Spellbomb
- True-Faith Censer
- 3 Islands
- 5 Swamps
- Dimir Aqueduct
You have the following cards in your hand:
You have not yet played a land this turn. You do not know the identities or order of any of the cards remaining in your library.
jas0n is at 14 life and has no cards in his hand. He has the following cards in play:
- Dragon's Eye Sentry (with jas0n's Gorgon's Head attached)
- Sigiled Starfish (with jas0n's Chosen by Heliod attached)
- Frost Lynx
- Silver Drake (tapped)
- Emeria Angel (tapped)
- Baneslayer Angel (with your Tightening Coils attached)
- Jedit's Dragoons
- a 1/1 white Bird token (tapped)
- 5 Plains (four tapped)
- 4 Islands (all tapped)
If you think you've got a great solution in mind, don't put it in the comments! Instead, send it to puzzles@gatheringmagic.com with the subject line "Puzzle -- roflmao pwned" by 11:59 P.M. EST on Sunday, April 8, 2018. We'll include the best ones in next week's article along with the next puzzle!
Last Week's Puzzle
Correct solutions to last week's puzzle were received from Russell Jones, Addison Fox, Ryou Niji, Patrick Durgin, Will Stockinger, André Fernandes, Subrata Sircar, Jonathan Marin, David Arnold, and zzo38.
"With us both at 4 life and Zulaport Cutthroat feeling pretty secure behind those hexproof shoes, we need to dance a fine line," Addison Fox writes. "If four of their creatures die, we die. Luckily, we don't need to kill very many to get a clean attack through, since they swung pretty hard out last turn."
One common observation among the submitted solutions is that the twins did overextend themselves, and any potential lifegain they had would be offset by a single creature on your side of the table. "This one seems easy for Mari," Jonathan Marin notes, "but maybe it's because Kavu Predator is one of her favorite creatures, so the moment she saw it she knew she would win with it. Her question was: 'How can I make this boy grow up?', and with Zulaport Cutthroat on the battlefield, the way became clear."
The solution involves a single approach with multiple variants. zzo38's solution goes as follows:
- Tap all of your lands for mana.
- Pay
to turn Ainok Survivalist face up. - Ainok Survivalist triggers and destroys the untapped 1/6 Primal Clay.
- Zulaport Cutthroat triggers. Now you have 3 life and your opponent has 5 life.
- Kavu Predator ("Punisher of lifegain everywhere", Subrata Sircar writes) triggers and now has a +1/+1 counter.
- Pay to cast Cloudshift targeting Auramancer. Auramancer is exiled and returned; it triggers (pending).
- State-based actions occur; Ordeal of Heliod and Pacifism go to the graveyard.
- Now that there are no more state-based actions, the pending trigger must be played; target Ordeal of Heliod and return it to your hand.
- Pay to cast Ordeal of Heliod on Kavu Predator.
- Pay to cast Epic Confrontation, targeting Kavu Predator and a Knight of the Skyward Eye.
- Knight of the Skyward Eye dies, triggering Zulaport Cutthroat; you have 2 life and your opponent has 6 life.
- This triggers Kavu Predator, adding another +1/+1 counter. With two +1/+1 counters and the bonus from Epic Confrontation, Kavu Predator is now 5/6.
- Attack with Kavu Predator and Fiend Hunter.
- Ordeal of Heliod triggers, adding another +1/+1 counter to Kavu Predator (now 6/7), and is sacrificed.
- Ordeal of Heliod triggers again and you gain 10 life.
- Zulaport Cutthroat blocks either attacker. (Or otherwise your opponent takes 7 damage and loses.)
- Regardless of which creature Zulaport Cutthroat blocks, Kavu Predator and Fiend Hunter together deal 6 damage to your opponent.
- Your opponent has no life points left and loses.
- Zulaport Cutthroat's ability gets no chance to be placed on the stack.
As noted, there are multiple variants here: You could have Kavu Predator fight any of your opponent's creatures, as long as you can kill the opposing creature for the Cutthroat's lifegain (and the subsequent +1/+1 counter).
One particularly interesting move is to have the Kavu Predator fight the 1/6 Primal Clay (before you destroy it with the Ainok Survivalist, that is). This means that you kill off only one of the twins' creatures and don't get the 10 life from Ordeal of Heliod . . .  but the twins end up at 5 life facing a 5/6 trampling Kavu Predator (as well as the Fiend Hunter), which is enough to carry the day.
The lifegain from Ordeal of Heliod comes with an additional advantage, though. "By my count," David Arnold writes, "you've got the twins dead without having to get to their upkeep. But if their starting life total had been 5, there would have been a few extra steps after combat where Renata and Raffaela gain one life from their dead Cutthroat, you go down to 11, and then the twins get eaten by their own Lacerators on their upkeep. What an ordeal!"
