"So, a family of circus performers walks into a casting office, and the guy behind the desk asks them about their act."

So begins the filthiest joke of mankind, but Aristocrats also describes a style of Magic deck that, interestingly enough, contains no cards with the word Aristocrats in it. Similar to how Affinity has no cards with that keyword, Aristocrats is a style of deck involving many creatures that have sacrifice effects that grow creatures, cause opponents to lose life and do other fun effects.

Why Is It Called Aristocrats?

Aristocrats is named after the original deck type during the Innistrad and Return to Ravnica blocks that had cards like Cartel Aristocrat and Falkenrath Aristocrat. These decks would foil opponent's plans for lifelink and damage by blocking and then sacrificing, often making other creatures larger in the process.

The modern-day Aristocrats deck works the same way. Here's a version that made Top 8 of Grand Prix Tokyo.

B/G Aristocrats ? Shadows over Innistrad Standard | Kazuki Yada

• Creatures (30)
• 1 Fleshbag Marauder
• 2 Vile Redeemer
• 3 Blisterpod
• 4 Catacomb Sifter
• 4 Duskwatch Recruiter
• 4 Elvish Visionary
• 4 Loam Dryad
• 4 Nantuko Husk
• 4 Zulaport Cutthroat

• Spells (7)
• 4 Collected Company
• 3 Cryptolith Rite

• Lands (23)
• 4 Swamp
• 7 Forest
• 1 Rogue's Passage
• 3 Westvale Abbey
• 4 Hissing Quagmire
• 4 Llanowar Wastes

• Sideboard (15)
• 2 Grasp of Darkness
• 1 Swamp
• 4 Transgress the Mind
• 4 Ultimate Price
• 2 Vile Redeemer
• 2 Virulent Plague

Buy This Deck

Similar to the Rally the Ancestors deck pre-rotation, these decks use Zulaport Cutthroat to deal damage, Nantuko Husk to grow impossibly large, and Catacomb Sifter to scry for the exact cards you need.

This version even includes an unusual choice: Vile Redeemer. If you don't remember what that Eldrazi does, he comes in via flash and gives you a Scion for each creature you control that died this turn. All of those Scions can then be sacrificed to Zulaport Cutthroat for even more damage.

Much like the four-color Rites decks that are cousins to this one, Cryptolith Rite helps this deck power out many creatures in a single turn. Collected Company helps with this as well, as does Duskwatch Recruiter. This Werewolf finds creatures from the top three cards of your library, and then, once flipped, reduces their costs.

The Liliana Version

Here's a quite different version of the deck, piloted by Emma Handy to an eightht-place finish at the Star City Games Milwaukee Classic.

B/G Aristocrats ? Shadows over Innistrad Standard | Emma Handy

• Creatures (30)
• 4 Blisterpod
• 4 Catacomb Sifter
• 4 Duskwatch Recruiter
• 4 Elvish Visionary
• 4 Loam Dryad
• 4 Nantuko Husk
• 4 Zulaport Cutthroat
• 2 Liliana, Heretical Healer

• Spells (8)
• 4 Collected Company
• 4 Cryptolith Rite

• Lands (22)
• 4 Swamp
• 6 Forest
• 4 Hissing Quagmire
• 4 Llanowar Wastes
• 4 Westvale Abbey

• Sideboard (15)
• 1 Duress
• 1 Evolutionary Leap
• 3 Kalitas, Traitor of Ghet
• 3 Nissa, Voice of Zendikar
• 3 Transgress the Mind
• 4 Ultimate Price

Buy This Deck

This version of Aristocrats leverages Liliana, Heretical Healer. Once a creature you control dies, she transforms to Liliana, Defiant Necromancer and makes a Zombie that can be sacrificed later. After that, she can force discards and return key creatures to the battlefield, again to be sacrificed later.

Different Sideboards

These two versions of the deck also have very different sideboards. While the Kazuki Yada version of the deck sides in spot removal, hand disruption, and anti-token effects with Virulent Plague, the Emma Handy version transforms to a more midrange deck. Kalitas, Traitor of Ghet brings in needed lifelink and creature exile, better to fight the token decks and their Hangarback Walkers. Emma's sideboard also has some token-generation and counter adding of its own, in the form of Nissa, Voice of Zendikar.

How Has Aristocrats Played Out on Camera?

Here are a few key tournament matches in which the Aristocrats deck has been played in the hands of those who know it best.

Luis Scott-Vargas (B/G Aristocrats) vs. Jeremy Dezani (Abzan Company)

After about four minutes of play, with Jeremy at 19 life, LSV flashes in two Zulaport Cutthroats with Collected Company. Then on his turn, he shows the Westvale Abbey, and Jeremy immediately concedes. Why?

LSV sacrifices any five creatures to the Westvale Abbey, dealing 10 damage (with the Cutthroats).

Westvale Abbey transforms into Ormendahl, Profane Prince, dealing the last 9 damage when it attacks.

In Game 2, much the same thing happens. By minute fourteen, LSV casts an Elvish Visionary to draw a card, and then, with the draw trigger on the stack, he sacrifices the Visionary to a Nantuko Husk, triggering the scry 1 of Catacomb Sifter. That resolves first, and he sees a third Zulaport Cutthroat on top and draws it. He then casts it and has enough creatures to sacrifice to deal 19 damage. Whew!

This match shows the speed and power of the Aristocrats deck, as does the next one.

Luis Scott-Vargas (B/G Aristocrats) vs. Valentin Mackl (Bant Company)

In the very next round, LSV plays against another Company deck, and this match is much grindier. By minute eight, Valentin Mackl manages to destroy a Cryptolith Rites with a Dromoka's Command, though LSV is able to sacrifice the creature targets to prevent the fight text from being carried out, causing some damage with a single Zulaport Cutthroat and transforming Liliana. A second Dromoka's Command takes out the Cutthroat.

On LSV’s next turn, he reanimates the Cutthroat with Liliana and then, after much deliberation, he makes an Ormendahl, making it 30 to 4 in favor of LSV. Valentin’s last card was a Reflector Mage, bouncing the Ormendahl, but it wasn’t enough: LSV won the first game.

In Game 2, LSV has a much slower start with no Cryptolith Rites, but he manages to catch up just the same, flooding the board with creatures and battling through a pair of Clash of Wills and a Reflector Mage to win 2–0 once again.

What Do You Call This Abomination? The Aristocrats!

Whether you go the Liliana route or the Vile Redeemer route, this deck is notorious for piling on damage and creatures very quickly, making it hard for slower decks to keep up. Have fun with it.