All the News That Isn’t

Michael J. Flores Goes Unmentioned in Magic-Related Articles and Podcasts, Investigation Begun

Contributed by Llanowar Sentinel staff writer Andrew Wilson

Despite his charisma, popularity, deck-building skills, and contributions to the Magic: The Gathering community, an entire week recently went by during which Michael J. Flores’s name was not mentioned in any Magic-related articles or podcasts. “I’m mystified,” says the self-proclaimed Magic luminary. “I was the editor of The Magic Dojo and I write a weekly column on DailyMTG.com, so when I take the time to read an article or listen to a podcast, I really expect I’ll be mentioned at least once.”

Flores alerted the proper authorities, who state that they are “taking [the investigation] very seriously.” Agent Arthur Clarkson of the FBI, who has been assigned to investigate, says that the phenomenon was initially dismissed as a fluke. “After a couple podcasts where no one mentioned [Flores’s] name,” he says, “people just thought it was odd. After a few more articles and podcasts, there were suspicions, but once a whole week had passed and still no mention of him, it was pretty obvious that something pretty serious was afoot. Combine that with the fact that @dailymtg recently surpassed him in number of Twitter followers, and while I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, I don’t think it’s out of line to discuss the possibility of a conspiracy.”

Noted Cube expert Thea Steele, who believe it or not has failed to talk about Flores in almost every one of her videos and articles, was asked if she was aware of his status in the Magic community, including the fact that he built the deck that was played by the eventual champion of Worlds 2009, and if she had anything to say in her defense. “Well, I mostly focus on the Cube format,” she says, “so I really just talk about card selections and strategies for that. I didn’t realize Mike Flores even played Cube.”

Area Man “GGs” Opponent After What Was Clearly Not a Good Game

Baltimore, Maryland – Longtime Magic player David Hampton, 34, reports that a one-on-one casual matchup ended oddly when his opponent, Nick Costello, 19, said “GG, man!” after a miserable forty-five minutes that began with a turn-three lockdown. “He played Erayo, Soratami Ascendant on turn two,” says Hampton. “On turn three, he played Ornithopter, Chrome Mox, Sol Ring, Arcane Laboratory, and flipped Erayo.” He then proceeded to kill Hampton 1 point of damage at a time with creatures like Fatespinner, Graceful Adept, and Ertai, Wizard Adept.

“I feel . . . violated,” says Hampton. “I feel used. And he looked me right in the eye when he was saying it. Clearly, ‘good game’ doesn’t mean to him what it means to me.”

Mountains Banned from Casual Room on MTGO

In a move that has shocked many players, Wizards of the Coast has banned Mountains from the Casual Room on Magic Online (MTGO). The man behind the decision, Anthony Sellers, lead developer of MTGO, says a recent matchup with a player in the Casual Room was the impetus.

“I was playing my five-color Walls deck against this guy, and I was on the play,” Sellers says. “I played a turn-one Mountain and passed the turn, and he started swearing at me in the chat window. At least, I think he was swearing. He said,

WHY THE                                              PLAYING                                                     RED DECK WINS                          NETDECKING                                                                                  BROKEN                                              TO THE                            TOURNAMENT ROOM                                                                YOU                                                                        BATSARD.

“This got me to thinking. He was right. Mountains are way, way too powerful to be allowed in the Casual Room.”

But what about the other basic lands? “Just because we’re only banning Mountains right now doesn’t mean we’re singling out those who want to play red,” says Sellers. “You can make red mana other ways. We just felt that this was such a severe problem that it warranted immediate action, and of course we’re going to be taking a real close look at the other colors. With all of the shenanigans you can pull with Islands and Plains, the creature removal Swamps afford, and the mana-ramping Forests enable, I think it’s safe to say that we’ll have to ban all basic lands pretty soon. This is supposed to be fun, casual play. Players can take their decks with basic lands and all those sorts of competitive tricks to the tournament room where they belong.”

The Llanowar Sentinel accepts news bulletins from freelance journalists. Send submissions to llanowar@gatheringmagic.com. Pieces will be edited for content and length.