My dad is not an artist.

Nor is he a Musician.

He's not a writer or a film maker. He doesn't play flag football or participate in family game night. He will never, ever play Magic.

The man simply has no pastimes.

It's not that he's some stoic, old-fashioned type; he's the biggest goofball I know. He just doesn't understand putting time and effort into a hobby with no financial benefit.

So when I told him I needed the day off on Sunday to go to a PTQ, he didn't object, but he wasn't exactly supportive. He puts up with Magic because he knows that if he doesn't, A) I'll resent him for it and B) my mom will yell at him. I think he was genuinely happy for me when I went to the Pro Tour, but when he bragged to his coworkers, it was all about the money I made. Also, he said I made it playing poker.

The two of us deliver bread to grocery stores, and we start around 4 AM. On Saturday mornings, when I'm exhausted because FNM went to midnight, he asks, "You go to Concord last night?" I say yes and he asks, "How much did you win?" It's hard to explain that, while I didn't win cash, I at least got a fetch land because I had first pick in the back draft. It's equally hard to explain that, when I lose, I still had a good time.

"It's like playing Scrabble; it doesn't really matter if you win. That's not the point."

"So you'd call out of work to play Scrabble?"

When I found out that the PTQ was not only in Concord, a mere twenty minutes away, but it was also on a Sunday, I was ecstatic. I work on Sundays, but it's only a half day and my dad doesn't really need me. This would be one of the few PTQ's of the whole year that I could attend – and it was limited, so I wouldn't need to playtest and Scrounge up the cards.

I was already familiar with Scars, drafting about ten times a week on MTGO, so I knew the interactions and the strongest archetypes. I only had four sealed tournaments under my belt, but those had all gone pretty well. Despite the prep work, I wasn't really thinking about getting back to the Pro Tour. Sure, it crossed my mind that Paris would be an awesome place to take Lindsay, but mostly I was just jonesing for some high level competition.

The greatest part of getting back into the Magic scene after a break is the look on your friends' faces when you walk in. There is a palpable excitement when one of your old PTQ buddies sees you for the first time in months. Then there is a clammy hand shake, some generic small talk for a couple seconds, you say you have to go register, and everyone moves on with their lives. That's the let down – but for a few seconds, it's nothing but nostalgia and happiness.

Seth brought Yamodo, our new favorite time-killer, and we slew a few minutes with phallic doodles and pop culture references before the event started. The game is played like this: each player is given a slip of paper with a fake word on it, along with a few random lines that serve as Inspiration for your drawing. Each player writes one line of a made-up definition for the word, and draws a doodle that corresponds with what they wrote. Then all players pass their papers to the left, and each player adds another line to the definition, and changes the drawing in some way. This process repeats one more time, and then the players take turns reading the finished products aloud and showing off the drawings. Everyone wins, unless you ruined a particularly funny one with some lame comment about Conway West (that was me).

Seth bought the game, but you could reproduce it yourself for free by simply putting fake words on top of some notebook paper. If your friends are funny and creative, or you have the same doodling affliction as that kid in Superbad, try it out the next time you have a couple minutes between rounds.

My pool was unexciting, but I had a build put together pretty quickly. If you happen to enjoy building sealed pools from a list of text (perhaps you would also like waterboarding), here's mine:

[cardlist]

[White]

2 Auriok Sunchaser

1 Glint Hawk

1 Revoke Existence

1 Indomitable Archangel

1 Myrsmith

1 Razor Hippogriff

1 Dispense Justice

1 Whitesun's Passage

1 Vigil for the Lost

2 Soul Parry

[/White]

[Blue]

3 Steady Progress

1 Lumengrid Drake

1 Vedalken Certarch

1 Halt Order

1 Inexorable Tide

[/Blue]

[Black]

2 Blistergrub

1 Instill Infection

2 Fume Spitter

1 Skinrender

2 Ichor Rats

1 Plague Stinger

1 Instill Infection

[/Black]

[Red]

2 Scoria Elemental

1 Ferrovore

1 Vulshok Heartstoker

1 Assault Strobe

1 Goblin Gaveleer

1 Furnace Celebration

1 Arc Trail

1 Cerebral Eruption

1 Shatter

[/Red]

[Green]

2 Ezuri's Archers

1 Tel-Jilad Defiance

3 Alpha Tyrannax

1 Putrefax

3 Tel-Jilad Fallen

1 Acid Web Spider

1 Cystbearer

[/Green]

[Artifact]

1 Necrogen Censer

2 Flight Spellbomb

1 Culling Dias

1 Bladed Pinions

2 Razorfield Thresher

1 Neurok Replica

1 Golden Urn

1 Golem's Heart

2 Strider Harness

1 Wall of Tanglecord

1 Clone Shell

1 Trigon of Mending

1 Sylvok Lifestaff

2 Leaden Myr

1 Auriok Replica

2 Rusted Relic

2 Glint Hawk Idol

1 Nim Deathmantle

1 Accorder's Shield

1 Horizon Spellbomb

1 Trigon of Corruption

1 Ichorclaw Myr

1 Corpse Cur

1 Nihil Spellbomb

[/Artifact]

[Land]

1 Plains

1 Blackcleave Cliffs

1 Glimmerpost

[/Land]

[/cardlist]

I quickly zeroed in on W/r metalcraft. This build allows me to play my only near-bomb (Indomitable Archangel), and maximizes my Glint Hawk Idol and Rusted Relic. I've never blown anyone out with a Cerebral Eruption, but whenever my opponents have one, I'm terrified, so I decided to run it. The other option would be to cut the Eruption and splash a third color, but there aren't many power cards in the other colors (Skinrender is the best, and there's certainly an argument for going W/b/r, but I was scared off by the double black).

Here's what I played, although I regularly sided out an Auriok Sunchaser for a Necrogen Censor to increase my artifact density.

[cardlist]

2 Auriok Sunchaser

1 Glint Hawk

1 Revoke Existence

1 Indomitable Archangel

1 Myrsmith

1 Razor Hippogriff

1 Dispense Justice

1 Arc Trail

1 Cerebral Eruption

1 Shatter

1 Sylvok Lifestaff

2 Leaden Myr

1 Auriok Replica

2 Rusted Relic

2 Glint Hawk Idol

1 Strider Harness

1 Nim Deathmantle

1 Accorder's Shield

1 Horizon Spellbomb

1 Trigon of Corruption

10 Plains

6 Mountain

[/cardlist]

I also threw together an Infect deck, operating under the theory that I could side into it if my opponent just had too much artifact removal.

[cardlist]

1 Putrefax

3 Tel-Jilad Fallen

1 Acid Web Spider

1 Cystbearer

2 Fume Spitter

1 Skinrender

2 Ichor Rats

1 Plague Stinger

1 Instill Infection

1 Ichorclaw Myr

1 Corpse Cur

1 Nihil Spellbomb

1 Horizon Spellbomb

2 Leaden Myr

1 Trigon of Corruption

1 Nym Deathmantle

1 Sylvok Lifestaff

1 Arc Trail

1 Shatter

2 Mountain

1 Blackcleave Cliffs

7 Forest

6 Swamp

[/cardlist]

In the end, I never sided into the poison package. My losses were all pretty close, and I thought my original deck gave me the better chance of winning. Anyways, I didn't intend for this to be a limited primer (I'm not exactly an authority), but I'd be happy to talk about SoM sealed in the comments.

I rattled off three match wins in a row, even though I felt like every deck I beat was far better than mine. Glint Hawk Idol was the best card in my deck, and every time I had it on turn two, I won. When my opponents had enough time to play colored bombs, there was literally nothing my deck could do. Luckily, this didn't come up until the fourth round.

My fourth round opponent was a tight player, and he kept track of my hand size with a die, which I thought was clever. Man, I wish I thought of that technique back when I played Jund; my opponents always knew when I topdecked a Blightning ("Cards?"). This was the round I wish I could have back, as I punted two games in a row.

In the first, I'm far ahead on the board with a Glint Hawk Idol, an active Auriok Sunchaser, and an active Rusted Relic. All he has is a couple of Myr and a Clone Shell. I should win the race in the air, barring some kind of bomb from my opponent's deck. So I attack… with everything. He blocks with Clone Shell, of course.

"No whammy!" I say.

"Yeah, it's a whammy," he replies, flipping Carnifex Demon.

Why didn't I hold back the Rusted Relic? I wish I could say I had a removal spell in hand in case he had a good creature under the Shell, but I didn't. I can only explain this mistake as the Scratch Ticket Effect.

You see, I'm a man who enjoys scratch tickets. Any time I'm at the grocery store with a few dollar bills in my pocket, I buy some scratch tickets. There's no reason for this. I rarely win, and when I do, it's one or two dollars. There's no enjoyment in digging out a penny and rubbing it on a piece of cardboard while the ashes of my lofty expectations fly all over my dashboard. I pretty much just flush a few bucks down the drain; I could have bought a delicious iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts with that money.

I simply have the urge to Gamble. I imagine myself scratching three like objects in a row, the prize box revealing the grand prize of $1,000 dollars. "Can't win if you don't play", my imaginary self says, making it rain Jaces.

When I inevitably lose, nobody gives it a second thought. The feeling of coming up empty is insignificant compared to the feeling of hitting it big. Lots of people buy scratch tickets, or play the lottery, or spin a roulette wheel, and they rarely get called fools for it.

So I attacked into the Clone Shell with nary a thought, hoping merely to "run good". I didn't think about the fact that, at 3-0, with a Clone Shell in his deck, he must have some kind of bomb in his deck, and looking at 4 out of roughly 27 cards gives him pretty good odds of having it. I didn't think about the fact that I could have won without buying that particular scratch ticket.

The next game was quite different, although the board was pretty similar. I have a few fliers, including the Indomitable Archangel, and he has a bunch of Myr and a Myrsmith. The turn after I play the Angel, he attacks with everything. He has four Plains and a Swamp, and hasn't played a land yet.

I'm thinking I want to block and kill the Myrsmith before it gets out of hand. I'm also thinking about tricks. Seize the Initiative? Wouldn't do it. Skinrender? Yeah, but that would be good anyways, and at least I get to kill the Myrsmith out of the deal. Tainted Strike? Seems unlikely in his deck.

So I block with the Angel and he plays land, Contagion Clasp, proliferate to finish her off. I can't get through enough damage before his bombs can take over (he also has Contagion Engine), and he wins at one life.

This mistake I credit to a particularly weak area of my game: Staying Ahead. When I'm winning, I get really sloppy. I start cracking jokes to nearby friends, watching other games, making terrible trades. Yeah, I threw my angel away, but I'm still looking good. He needs a miracle.

Nothing I can do but learn from the mistakes. I win the next one and lose round six, going 4-2 drop to play type 4 at Applebees with the guys. I could have taken home nine packs if I top 16'd, but I would have missed out on decent food and great times. Once, Craig Wescoe wrote an excellent article about finishing out your tournaments, even if you're out of contention, in order to get better at Magic. He made a lot of sense.

I've never taken that advice. I guess that shows where my priorities are in regards to succeeding at Magic and eating spinach artichoke dip.

"How'd it go yesterday?" My dad, the morning after the PTQ.

"Had a really great time. Saw some old friends I haven't spoken to in a while."

"Oh. How much did you win?"

In a fit of madness after work Monday, I sold my fourth copy of Abyssal Persecutor on MTGO in order to pick up 4 Regal Force. I have no plans to play extended until at least next PTQ season, and I know very little about the fledgling format. So why the mania over the five-ticket green guy? I had just brainstormed this list:

[cardlist]

4 Llanowar Elves

4 Arbor Elf

2 Joraga Treespeaker

4 Heritage Druid

4 Nettle Sentinel

4 Devoted Druid

4 Lotus Cobra

4 Elvish Archdruid

4 Genesis Wave

4 Regal Force

4 Eldrazi Monument

4 Verdant Catacombs

4 Misty Rainforest

10 Forest

[/cardlist]

Okay, Elves! isn't the most original deck in the world, but Genesis Wave makes it so much more consistent than back in the Ranger of Eos days. Plus, it's incredibly fun to chain Waves and Forces until nearly every card in your deck is in play.

I spent a lot of time thinking about a win condition. It would have to be a permanent, so I could flip it with Genesis Wave. Preferably, it would win on the spot. What I really wanted was a card that untapped all my creatures, so I could just swing for the win, but I couldn't find anything that fit the bill. I tried both Ob Nixilis and Predator Dragon, but was always bummed when I drew them. More importantly, the Dragon makes me weak to Path to Exile, and Ob Nixilis would often come down at the tail end of my "going off" and couldn't actually finish the game.

I was also worried about wraths. What could I do to protect my team?

The answer to both problems was obvious, and was already seeing lots of play in elf decks. I threw four Eldrazi Monument in immediately.

The Monument doesn't usually win on the spot, although it can get close with Nettle Sentinel and Cobras that aren't summoning sick. This is primarily a concern against combo and burn decks, that only need one more turn to win, but I figured I could bring in a couple of Predator Dragon for those matches.

I took the deck for a spin in some Solitaire games. I could regularly Genesis Wave for six or seven on turn four, sometimes on turn three, and that would usually be enough to ensure the win on the following turn. I won every single Solitaire game I played.

Then I played against some real people in the tournament practice room. There's this card, Lightning Bolt, that kills my first Arbor Elf, and then I can't play Archdruid and can't Genesis Wave for a million. It's pretty good.

There's also this card called Cryptic Command. It can counter my Genesis Wave, bounce my Monuments to set up for Damnation, and tap down my team on my upkeep so I can't unload my hand. That card is good too.

I consider this deck a pretty good foundation. Unopposed, it does something unfair with alarming frequency. It also has multiple angles of attack – it can play like a Standard elf aggro deck, or go off with Genesis Wave. Now, I need to hone in on the weaknesses and tweak until the deck can overcome them. Adding another color to the deck is practically free, so there are plenty of directions to go in.

The deck isn't a contender yet, but I'm including it here in the hopes that the Hive Mind can help fix the broken pieces before extended season. I'd really like to flip fifteen cards off the top of my deck in a tournament sometime soon. Here's the extremely rough sideboard I was using, for reference:

4 Guttural Response (Bad with Genesis Wave, but at least makes sure it resolves)

3 Kitchen Finks (Obviously for the aggro and/or burn matchups)

4 Leyline of Vitality (This is probably bad, but I thought it would help fight Jund Charm)

4 Vengevine (Leftover from a transformational sideboard that included Leatherback Baloth. He's good enough with the Baloth's help, trust me.)

After destroying my credibility by writing about a half-baked elf deck, I saved my Word document and pulled up Facebook.

"Linda Wojceshonek: Ben threw out his back pulling nails out of the wall, we're at the chiropractor."

Here's some context: I work with my dad because he has a herniated disk in his spine. The physical part of the job can aggravate it and lead to bigger problems down the road that could require surgery, and probably retirement.

By abandoning him on Sunday in order to play Magic cards, I was almost certainly responsible for the preliminary strain that lead to the nail-removal injury. When I offered to run the route myself the next day, I was wrapped in a Snuggie of guilt.

Everything I know about being a father (or that more nebulous term, "man"), I've learned from my dad. Just recently he taught me how to change the flapper in the toilet, for example.

Lawn care. Balancing a checkbook. Checking the oil. All fatherly lessons passed down a generation.

Personal enrichment. Self-expression. Individuality. If my dad had knowledge of these things, he never revealed it.

My dad spends his free time watching the View or talking about the old neighborhood with his beer buddies. But was it always this way? What did my dad do for fun when he was a kid? I know he didn't write poetry or play guitar or level up WoW characters like me, but he must have done something. Maybe he worked on old cars or had a record collection. I'm pretty sure he went to punk rock shows and went camping on the weekends; but you'd never know it, talking to him now.

Surely there are Sacrifice that must be made when you become an adult. Responsibility means new priorities. Ensuring the well-being of my family is a higher priority than playing card games, for instance. But if that's the case, how do I keep from becoming a bitter old man with no pastimes?

Is skipping a day's work to play Magic a childish decision that I should feel guilty for? Or is doing what you love what life is all about?

When I was younger, I would absolutely say the latter. But when, on occasion, I leave Bryson with the sitter for a couple of extra hours in order to sneak in a draft, I can't help but feel the cold, felt-like embrace of the guilt Snuggie. Am I turning into my father?

Or am I just growing up?

Brad Wojceshonek

BradWoj at Gmail dot com

bjwoj on twitter