With the introduction of the crime mechanic in Outlaws of Thunder Junction we were introduced to several cards that want you to "commit a crime" like Gisa, the Hellraiser and Magda, the Hoardmaster. Committing a crime involves targeting opponents, anything they control, and/or cards in their graveyard according to the Magic: The Gathering Comprehensive Rules 700.13. Now when we look at crimes we typically think milling, discarding, or destroying your opponents' creatures, but what else could be a crime according to the rules?

Sometimes the name alone makes the card worthy of asking if it truly is a crime. True Love's Kiss and Wedding Ring are both symbolic of positive relationships, but their effects puts them solidly in the crime category. Teaching also isn't a crime, as choosing an opponent to copy via the Demonstrate ability doesn't count as a crime for the purpose of "targeting opponents", but Excavation Technique can still commit a crime if you target an opponent's nonland permanent. For a deeper analysis, let's look at positive effects for your opponents or their cards that are considered crimes.

Committing a Crime, Adorable Edition

Don't draw your weapons, draw some cards instead!

Several cards allow you to draw cards in exchange for life. What the casual player might not notice that a lot of these cards say "target player" allowing you to commit a crime by Night's Whisper, Sign in Blood, or the new Insatiable Avarice to get them to draw cards and lose a little life. Want to do this more than once? Bloodgift Demon will get you the same trigger on each of your upkeeps! If you just want to benefit a player then Inspiration, Secret Rendezvous, and Huddle Up can do just that and get you some card draw as well.

Then we can look at wheeling someone's whole hand away. While Windfall isn't a crime as it doesn't target, Collective Defiance will let you wheel one opponent to get them a new hand and you a crime trigger! Maybe we put cards back in their library instead? Clear the Mind, Dwell on the Past, and Guiding Spirit turn graveyard hate into more like graveyard delays by putting target cards back in their library from the grave. Also, what if you just want to take a Peek at their cards? There's plenty of options for that too.

Spying is a less obvious crime, but can be charged nonetheless.

Are modal spells the way to commit a crime spree?

Looking at the rules for committing a crime you would think that targeting multiple opponents would grant multiple crime triggers right? Prismari Command lets you multitask by giving one opponent two card draw/discard and perhaps another a Treasure Token, but unfortunately will only snag you one crime trigger as it is only one crime per spell/card, so choose modes at your own risk. Shadrix Silverquill falls in a similar bucket, netting you a crime trigger and perhaps benefitting yourself as well when choosing to give counters, a token, or some card draw.

One Crime Per Card, Better Make it Count!

Combat Tricks or Treats?

Combat is where some true crimes can be committed, such as Murder and Brazen Borrower // Petty Theft, but we are here for the impractical and weird crimes Magic: The Gathering has to offer. Protecting your opponents' creatures can be easy enough by giving them abilities via Auras, but Armor of Thorns lets you do it at instant speed to buff up the defending creature. If you need to keep a player around and your opponent decides to swing everything into them, a kicked Galadriel's Dismissal can phase out the attacking forces and grant your "ally" another turn to play.

Do you want to give some additional blockers instead? Verdant Command gives a target player two Squirrel tokens while Domineering Will can give them some easy blockers while also clearing annoying threats from the board state. Instead of creating blockers, you can untap the defender's board with Rustler Rampage so they have creatures to work with while still getting your crime trigger. Untapping the attacking creatures would still get you the crime trigger, but doesn't remove them from combat if that is your intention.

Need to prevent combat damage? Well cards like Healing Leaves, Healing Salve, and Alabaster Potion can prevent damage or gain target player life to avoid losing that critical creature or removing the player from the game. If you are the one swinging creatures, Soltari Guerrillas lets you redirect that player damage to a target creature instead. Speaking of life totals, they can be such fickle things when committing crimes.

Tax Fraud? More like Life Fraud

Quite a few cards in this article can affect a player's life total, either by paying it for them to draw cards, gaining life, or even changing the number entirely. Soul Conduit lets you exchange two players' life totals for [6] mana, letting you control who is really in the lead. Axis of Mortality lets you exchange two life totals every upkeep and Magus of the Mirror can trade your life total with an opponent, in case you want to trade with your Tree of Redemption first. On the other hand why not just skip a step and exchange an opponent's life total with Tree of Perdition's toughness!

If you'd rather avoid exchange rates, look to Magister Sphinx and Sorin Markov to quickly bring your opponents down to size or just even the odds at the table. In a pinch, Blessed Wind is a more expensive sorcery to take someone to 20 life either to save or smite them.

Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law

Speaking of exchanging; giving your opponents' gifts is also considered a crime as long as it is targeted. Humble Defector is the more popular version of this concept that I remember, drawing you two cards and then passing over to another opponent for them to use. There is also Witch Engine when gives four Black mana and then gets traded to target opponent or Yes Man, Personal Securitron who draws two cards for you and then can create Soldier Tokens for the owner if/when it leaves the battlefield. I for one am more about equivalent exchange, so let us look at cards like Exchange of Words, Reins of Power, and Shifting Grift to shake up the battlefield and net myself some nice permanents to use for the round. Not only can we exchange permanents with opponents but also their text boxes with the introduction of Unfinity.

I can write this off as charity right?

The Kingpins of Crime: Giving Gifts

To round out this article I wanted to take this concept of weird or unusual crimes to Commander and for that I turn to Jon Irenicus, Shattered One and Zedruu the Greathearted. Both of these legendary creatures have built in ways to give away a creature or permanent you control. For Jon Irenicus, you can focus on creatures with unpleasant effects and make it so your opponents can't sacrifice them. Zedruu on the other hand is more in line with the purpose of this article; committing crimes by doing silly things like giving our opponent a Platinum Angel or The Second Doctor.

So, what kind of crimes have you committed in Magic: The Gathering since Outlaws of Thunder Junction's release? One I'm hoping to pull off is letting my opponent tutor with Varragoth, Bloodsky Sire and then making them shuffle it away with Boggart Forager for a total of two crime triggers.