Much to my surprise, there are apparently 482 phyrexian creatures in Magic: The Gathering. That seems absolutely ridiculous, because I never assumed there would be that many. Interestingly, a lot of these are due to errata on their creature types. There are a ton of cards from the Scars of Mirrodin block that used to be "X" creature type, and now they're "Phyrexian X." Even a card like Commander Greven il-Vec, who was released in Tempest as a Human Warrior, is now a Phyrexian Human Warrior. So undoubtedly, a ton of these creatures are comprised of these "new" phyrexians.
Quantity aside, phyrexians are typically some of the coolest creatures in the game, looking like something straight out of the mind of H.R. Giger. They also have an incredibly long history in the game, starting way back in Antiquities, in 1994, with Phyrexian Gremlins (and technically Priest of Yawgmoth, with Yawgmoth being closely tied to the phyrexians since the beginning). The term phyrexian would then go on to appear in nearly every early Magic set, including Alliances, Mirage, Visions, Weatherlight, Tempest, Stronghold, obviously the Urza and Invasion blocks, etc.
This time I'm going to include more creatures than I usually do, because I think phyrexians are pretty cool, but I might just add more going forward in general. There's no real reason to keep these lists short, especially if there are cool cards I want to highlight.
Let's begin!
The Chancellor Cycle
This is an interesting one. While they didn't really have a huge impact when they were printed in New Phyrexia, nearly every one of the Chancellors has since seen some amount of Constructed play, from Chancellor of the Dross seeing play in Black burn decks, to Chancellor of the Annex seeing play in Reanimator and "all spells" decks. They can be a little tricky to cast, but sometimes that "reveal from hand" ability is all the value you need from them.
Chrome Host Seedshark
While this guy hasn't been around as long as some of the other phyrexians that will be on this list, it's had a really impressive run since its release in March of the Machine. I absolutely love picking it up in Vintage Cube, and it can absolutely run away with games after a few spells are cast. One nice benefit is that protecting the Seedshark, with things like counterspells, powers the Seedshark. And heck, a 2/4 flier for three mana is just a solid value.
Deceiver Exarch
While on its own, Deceiver Exarch isn't that exciting of a creature, the fact that it's been enabling Splinter Twin and Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker combos for over a decade makes it easily one of the most played Phyrexians in Magic's history. Even if that's only been alongside some rather degenerate interactions.
Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite
The praetors are another creature type that had the phyrexian creature type added, and I think Elesh Norn is inarguably the best one. The most flavorful interaction with Elesh was finding her off of a phyrexian Birthing Pod, which was a common line back in the day. Additionally, Elesh Norn is a Cube and Commander staple, and a great target for cards like Tooth and Nail.
Elesh Norn can often be a one-sided board wipe and an Overrun effect all in one, which is usually more than enough to close out many games.
Phyrexian Dreadnought
Here's a funny fact: Phyrexian Dreadnought's creature type? It's Phyrexian Dreadnought. lol. Just amazing. It does make me wonder how many creatures in the game have the exact same creature type as their name, because the number can't be very high. Regardless of its creature type, the Dreadnought has been a legend since it was debuted in Mirage. Everyone was trying their absolute hardest to cheat this thing into play and take advantage of its paltry one-mana mana cost. Nowadays, people are content to just use a Stifle on the trigger to keep their 12/12 around.
Phyrexian Obliterator
Unlike the Dreadnought, the Obliterator's creature type is not Phyrexian Obliterator, which is unfortunate, because that would be cool. Where are all the "Obliterator" creature types anyway? There are literally none! That being said, its type is Phyrexian Horror.
While the Obliterator is pretty tricky to cast, in my opinion it's one of the most iconic creatures ever printed. It not only has an extremely unique casting cost, that only three other cards have ever had, it's a nod to the infamous Phyrexian Negator, which was a top tier win condition in its day. The best part is that, while Negator had a drawback ability, they basically reversed it and made it a benefit on the Obliterator.
Sheoldred, the Apocalypse
Honestly, Sheoldred, the Apocalypse is likely the best 4-drop creature ever printed. I'm having a very hard time thinking of a better 4-drop creature that could take this title. It's proven an all-star in multiple formats, and even now, having been released nearly three years ago, the card still commands a $90 price tag, with certain versions going for close to $150. And the card is still legal in Standard! Sheoldred is definitely on the list of most expensive Standard cards of all time.
The fact that it can be a two-card combo with certain card drawing cards, such as Wheel of Fortune or Timetwister, makes this the absolute most brutal version of Sheoldred ever printed.
Wurmcoil Engine
Wurmcoil Engine is an amazing threat. It's a great creature to copy, it's a great creature to sacrifice, it's a great creature to search for with Birthing Pod. You can even get it into play off of a turn two Channel! The number of interactions and repetition cycles (such as with a Goblin Welder) you can think of with a Wurmcoil Engine is practically limitless in 2024. While there may be newer options, I'm not sure there are many better options for what Wurmcoil Engine specifically does. This is why it's incredibly unlikely it will ever not have a home in many Cubes.
Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll catch ya next time!
Frank Lepore